Hello there, ladies. My name is Thomas Brown. I am going to be quite honest with you: I don't get very many ladies my way, but I've seen plenty of you around Bleacher Report.
So I thought I would try my cards with what might be a dicey decision, but I am going for it anyway. I'm offering a full-compliment dinner date to any lady on Bleacher Report who would love to go out for a nice romantic evening with me.
To make things a little easier, I will list some facts about me so you can get to know me better before we take the next step together...
General Facts:
I am a man seeking a woman.
Living within the boundaries of the world (I will fly to you if necessary).
My Basics:
Height: 5'5", 197 lbs.
Body type: Curvy with some spunk
Relationships: Never had one
Sign: Aries
Turn-ons: Erotica, skinny dipping, candlelight dinners, making slurping noises
Turn-offs: Talking, cuddling, going to movies
My Appearance:
Eyes: Greenish-blue
Hair: Platinum
Best feature: Toenails and knuckles
My Lifestyle:
Exercise Habits: Never
Daily diet: Meat and potatoes, fast food
Smokes: Cigar aficionado
Drinks: Regularly, hypnotic, ya got it?
Job: Part-time janitorial job at the zoo
Income: Less than $25,000
Living situation: Live with parents/extended family
Pets: Gerbils
If you would like to know any more, just message me on my board. I hope this will spark a few Bleacher Report women's interests out there so I don't have to go on without a girlfriend for so long.
I hope this resume suffices. Thanks a lot for your consideration, ladies.
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