The All-Time Movie Football Roster

This juice ball was a monster. When he wasn’t throwing up ridiculous weight in the weight room, bashing his head through car windows, and attempting to rape girls, he was a beast on the field. With his face painted like Chris Hovan on the Vikings and Buccaneers, his intimidation was not matched by anyone else.

OLB - Becky "Ice Box" O’Shea (Shawna Waldron) - "Little Giants"

She was a great linebacker and was the heart and soul of the Giants. She knew it was a mistake to ever pick up a pom-pom and came back to help the Giants beat the over-talented cowboys.

A side note: she looks very solid now. Look her up. You will be surprised what the tom boy turned into.

MLB - Charles Jefferson (Forrest Whitaker) - "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"

Even though Jefferson has a really bad lazy eye and is overweight, he makes up for it with his smarts and toughness. He stays really angry on the field, which is perfect for a middle linebacker.

MLB - Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler) - " The Waterboy"

What else is there to say other than the guy was a absolute stud. He could lay hat with the best of them.

OLB - Gerry Bertier (Ryan Hurst)- "Remember the Titans"

As long as he doesn’t run stop signs after the games, he will be fine because on the field he protected that left side, while Julius protected that strong side.

CB - Stefen Djordjevic (Tom Cruise) - "All the Right Moves"

Even though he and Coach Nikerson (Craig T. Nelson aka, plays a coach in every role he has) didn’t always see eye-to-eye, he still was a very good player. He had a lot of drive to go to college at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo, because of the bad way of life in his dying Pennsylvania steel town.

CB - Trumaine (Wesley Snipes) - ‘Wildcats"

Not only could he intercept passes, but, if a car needed to be hot-wired, he had those attributes as well.

SS - Spike (Sam Horrigan) - "Little Giants"

He was the white version of the kid in the Under Armour commercials. He was so yoked for a "12" and had the attitude to match.

FS - Petey Jones (Donald Faison) - "Remember the Titans"

Sure, Petey played running back as well for Coach Boone, but he really became valuable to the team when defense coordinator Yoast asks him to play safety and cover the other team’s best player. The problem as of now is Petey has put on a lot weight eating too many hospital meals on the hit tv show "Scrubs."

Kicker - Lucy Draper (Kathy Ireland) - "Necessary Roughness"

She could kick and wouldn’t be that bad to look at either.

Punter - Nigel "the leg" Gruff (Rhys Ifans) - "The Replacements"

The ex-Welsh soccer player could kick and drink with the best of them. The guy could kick while smoking, what’s not to love. Plus, he claims "I’m wiry."

Place Holder - Radio (Cuba Gooding Jr.) - "Radio"

I know a low blow, but had to do it. He could hold with the best of them.

Kick Returner - Forest Gump (Tom Hanks) - "Forrest Gump"

If he could return kicks for the University of Alabama, he could return kicks for this team.

Head Coach - Herman Boone (Denzel Washington) - "Remember the Titans"

He would be perfect for coaching this diverse team. He would get all these egos to play together.

Offensive Coordinator - Coach Klein (Henry Winkler) - "The WaterBoy"

He showed with his green book that he could draw up plays with the best of them. With Boucher telling him to imagine how to draw them like he did back in the 1970s, he will be having this team score like the 1999 Rams.

Defensive Coordinator - Molly McGrath (Goldie Hawn) - "Wildcats"

She could get a bunch of kids with attitude and turn them into winners. Plus, she knows how to condition with the best of them. She will have this defense playing with heart.

Head Cheerleader - Claire Bennet (Hayden Panettiere) - "Heroes"

Not only is she a cheerleader on the hit show Heroes, but she was Coach Yoast's daughter in the Remember the Titans, and, trust me, from that movie she knows her football.

Spygate Camera Man - Mr. Hanon (Gene Whittington) - "Little Giants"

He was the black dad of Hannon "Hot Hands" with the huge video camera from the early 1990s that actually had a VCR tape on the side. The thing took up his whole shoulder in the sides.

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