The 20 Stupidest Unwritten Rules in Sports

RM Herold@@BR_RollinFeatured ColumnistSeptember 2, 2010

The 20 Stupidest Unwritten Rules in Sports

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    Sports have a lot of rules. Unwritten ones are the hardest to follow, since they are unwritten so you can't go back and study them.

    But Nyjer Morgan is out to break all of them, if he can just find out what they are.

    First, before we begin, I would like to state in my humble opinion, baseball needs Nyjer Morgan.

    Lebron and Favre were dominating the headlines even though neither of them were playing their respective sports.

    Then Darrelle Revis took over the headlines, again without being on the field.

    Now that Stephen Strasburg is down, you need a headliner.

    And this crazy little guy wants to take the bull by the horns. So let him do it!

    Okay, now back to the list...

20. Never Argue Balls and Strikes With the Umpire

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    Every baseball player knows this. But they do it anyway.

    This rule is dumb because the umpire might be wrong.

    Also, as Manny proved, sometimes you just  don't feel like playing baseball that day.

    See ya!

19. No Showing Up an Opposing Pitcher After Hitting a Home Run

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    I don't get this one.

    What if you haven't hit a homerun in a while, can't you sneak a peak at it?

    What if you had a dance ready for the next dinger, maybe a little two-step?

    So if I hit one of Josh Hamilton's moon shots, I can't sit back and whistle?

    This is why baseball is no fun!

18. When Hit by a Pitch, Don't Rub the Mark

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    This one is about never letting them see you sweat or in pain.

    But it also could be a part of the previous one.

    Meaning if you show up the pitcher, you can expect the next pitch to be somewhere without padding.

    But I totally disagree.

    What if it really hurt?

17. Players Can't Date Cheerleaders From Their Team

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    I think this one is like not taking a dump where you eat. (Excuse my French)

    But you can date other teams' cheerleaders.

    And you can date one of your own cheerleaders if you marry her.

    Or better known as the Chris Cooley Rule.

16. No Falling Asleep During a Game

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    This is so egregious that after being accused of doing it, Ken Griffey, Jr. immediately retired.

    It's such a horrible accusation that you hear people do it but you never hear names of people doing it.

    So unless you are the Pope, stay up!

15. You Can't Tell a Teammate He Sucks

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    This one is more for your protection than anything, if you are a player.

    Basically if you know a guy is awful, you still have to pat him on the but after his tenth missed shot, or striking out five straight times.

    "You'll get 'em next time, chum".

    You would have to be named Nyjer Morgan to speak your mind in that situation.

14. No Attempting To Distract Opposing Fielders While They Are Fielding

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    The exceptions to this rule include little leaguers and Alex Rodriguez.

    I think it should be all fair in love and war, personally.

    Go Arod!

13. You Have to Be Well Dressed for Your Draft

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    No jogging suits or sneakers allowed.

    You have to look good when you are about to be paid lots of money.

    Why do you think those poor WNBA players force high heels and sequined full length dresses on?

12. Don't Talk to Pitchers During No Hitters

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    Totally disagree with this one.

    And now that the steroid era is over there is going to be a no-hitter every week.

    We are going to see a bunch of lonely pitchers in the league.

    What if the guy want's to talk to me? Do I ignore him?

11. Never Talk About the Money When Signing a Contract

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    "It's not about the money"...

    Okay, enough already.

    I'm not sure who started this rule, but every player that says it is lying.

    What they should say is:

    "Thank you for coming to this press conference. As you know, I have just signed a huge contract to play with this very bad team."

    "I'd like you to know that it is about the money and I am so glad that you have just given me so much of it so that I can cry myself to sleep after another long losing streak."

10. No Signing with Your Rival If You Were Hated by the Fan Base

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    This one is more about the fans, than anything else.

    Red Sox fans did not appreciate Wade Boggs, Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon went on to play for the New York Yankees.

    But if Kobe ever signed with the Celtics, Manning with the Patriots, Jeter with the Red Sox, or if Mark Ingram transfers to Florida...

    The earth would stop spinning.


    *I know the pic is fake, but it still is great.

9 Stay Away from Teammates' Wives

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    Jamie Squire/Getty Images

    This is actually a great rule.

    You should stay away from everybody's wife, except your own, of course.

    This is only stupid because it's unwritten.

    I think this rule should actually be written.

8. You Don't Steal a Base When Down a Bunch or Up a Bunch

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    Unless your name is Rickey Henderson, of course, and you have records to catch.

    This is the reason why the Marlins hit Nyjer Morgan and led to the brawl.

    Marlins third baseman, Wes Helms summed it up:

    “There's nothing good I can say about someone who doesn't play the game the right way and doesn't respect the integrity of the game,”...

    “We had to show we weren't going to put up with how he was treating us.”

    Wes seems a bit emotional.

7. You Can Throw at a Batter Once but Not Twice

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    This is another of the rules that is kind of common sense.

    The man of the hour himself, Nyjer Morgan speaks on this one:

    “I thought it was over after (the fourth inning), but once I saw the ball go right behind me, it's time to go,” Morgan said “Once is good enough, but twice, no, it's time to go.”

    When it's time to go, folks...

    It's time to go.

6. Don't Argue with Fans

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    This goes for all sports. Except  for WWE wrestlers.

    But Brock Lesnar learned that the WWE isn't the UFC.

    And again, Nyjer Morgan comes into play here because he was suspended for throwing a ball at a fan.

    Man, this guy had a busy week.

    Athletes are supposed to ignore the fans.

    If they don't, you might have a Pacers-Pistons situation on your hands.

5. Never Onside Kick When Up by A Lot

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    Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

    This goes with similar rules in all sports.

    No running up the score, basically.

    Not cool.

    Unless you have to impress the BCS.

    Or if Bill Belichick is doing it.

    He probably has a reason.

4. Never Lay Down a Bunt To Break Up a No-Hitter

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    Christian Petersen/Getty Images

    Man, baseball has a lot of rules.

    So, let me get this straight...

    I know I can beat the pitcher to the bag to get my bunt single, but in order to help this guy get his stats, I have to strike out?


3. Don't Celebrate After an Empty-Net Goal

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    Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

    But it's a goal.

    And I scored it.

    Goals are hard to come by.

    If you score enough goals you get a raise and you get endorsements.

    I want to celebrate.

2. If You Are Going To Dangle Your Gloves...

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    You can't sucker your opponent into getting a penalty by faking like you want to fight.

    Hockey is one of those sports where if you don't honor unwritten rules, you might get hurt.

    Plus, no one would respect you if you did this.

    But it would look kind of cool.

1. No Shooting at Your Own Basket...

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    Years ago, Ricky Davis wanted a triple double but time was running out.

    So he shot at his own basket.

    Jerry Sloan looked like he wanted to kill him.

    I say a triple double is hard to come by if you're Ricky Davis, right?

    If you are his teammate and you don't want him doing that, box him out!