Arsenal Chooses Almunia. UptheArseBlog Chooses Arsenal.

John SmithCorrespondent ISeptember 1, 2010

BLACKBURN, ENGLAND - AUGUST 28:  Abou Diaby of Arsenal in action during the Barclays Premier League match between Blackburn Rovers and Arsenal at Ewood Park on August 28, 2010 in Blackburn, England.  (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)
Alex Livesey/Getty Images

Happy Birthday To Me!

Well my blog turns 1-year-old tomorrow, which is quite cool. Although when you´ve written precisely three posts all summer long, you have hardly done yourself justice and brought yourself credibility as an internet blogger.

The ones who really deserve credit in my opinion are certainly JamRockRover with his blog Cesc-Is-God, which easily could have been an egg-on-face worthy title had Señor Fabregas kicked up more of a fuss this summer, ergo removing his god-like status, and more importantly, most likely forcing us to sell our star asset.

Thankfully for us and for Mr. Rover, Cesc didn't leave, and this wonderful blog can remain unnamed. He's got fantastic Arsenal videos posted almost everyday, where he finds the best that Youtube has got to offer and posts sexy little clips of the men in red. Then just to put his little spin on it, he likes to attach a nice song for your to kick off your day.

Then LadyArse with her has got a good thing going there. She dedicated a T-shirt to me last year with her "Arsenals Great Dane—Bendtner 52" masterpiece. I bought myself a copy. Overall I´m quite pleased. Then she´s got some fantastic caption competitions almost everyday where you can attempt to be witty provided its not racist, sexist, or expressing a fondness for harm to animals (where's the fun in that? I KNOW!)

But seriously, what really sets her blog apart is her unparalleled ability to point out the anti-Arsenal bias that seems to exist in the media, most likely because of our anti-English spine to the team...Erhmmm...Walcott, Wilshire, Gibbs...erhmmm...Frimpong?

She also loves to post SHORT blogs of at least 1,000 words. And it's always great reading! Enjoy.

Lastly, we´ve got the Arseblogger, who is probably the best Arsenal blogger out there, he won the Irish blogger awards for the Sports category last year, which shows you how highly he is retarded regarded. I hope he won´t mind some of my taking the piss. He has really set the standard for Arsenal blogs, with his unwaivering mad sense of humour, and his ability to dig deepest and get information before anyone else. Sometimes even when that information hasn't been created yet. Phillip Senderos to Everton anyone? Tee hee.

I tune in every Friday to listen to his Arsecast, which is, without throwing around the word too much, pure genius. Impressions of Arshavin will make you piss-pants yourself, Silvestre will be missed with his "funky French attitude" and of course, we all love Eboue. Never less than 30 minutes of arsecracking humour, for me, this is what sets his blog apart from the others. Sometimes he even gets famous people to talk...or his brother...who is also quite hilarious.

In comparison to these giants you've got little old me, I was diligent for a bit, but I kind of went off the ropes when...well...when our team went off the ropes. I lost interest, and decided that I would take the summer off, wait from some new signings, and refuel my batteries.

What can you expect from me this year?

1. Well I'll do some more Squad comparisons because those went down quite well last year.

2. I'll use whatever inside information that I can to give you reports on new signings, however, don´t expect too much, it is more important for me to keep my practitioners license than for me to get hits on my blog.

3. I'm hoping to incorporate some new media in my blogs.

4. I might even take a leaf out of Arseblogger´s e-book and do a couple of PodCasts...The UptheArseCast...I just realized something, perhaps my name is too similar to Mr. Blogger.

5. I might change the name of my blog.

6. I'll continue to write hilarious pieces, which Wayland Shamburglar loves.

7. I'll promise to be completely biased towards Arsenal.

8. I will certainly tell FIFA to rediscuss the introduction of technology into football.

9. I will try to publish one of my sports law articles up here on the website to give you all some perspective into what I actually do when I'm not wearing my blogger pants.

10. I will promise to keep my pants on at all times.

Transfer Windows MAAAAADness!

I did a little squad preview a couple of weeks ago, and thankfully (for my blog, not for the team...fucking Almunia), nothing has changed since then.

We flirted a bit with Schwartzer, but it became clear to all that when Stockdale went down with an "injury" we weren´t going to get the Aussie. I think Given would have been an excellent replacement, probably even better than the man from down under, but when Man City loaned Bellamy to Cardiff and agreed to pay a percentage of his wages, if what is reported is true, it became very clear to me that Mr. Given would be staying in Manchester.

Apparently, they have actually agreed to pay him more just to stay as a back-up. Smells like cockshit to be, but what do I know about signing player contracts and what have you?

Some other names were tossed around the interweb this summer, Remy, Toulalan, Frey, Ciani...pretty much any Frenchie. In the end we finished with Squillaci-Frenchie, Koscielney-Frenchie, and Chamakh-African Frenchie.

So it was a fine French summer for Arsenal.

Two defenders and a striker are signings which we can't really complain about. YES, we lost four defenders last year, Silvestre (OHHHH BABBBY), Campbell, Senderos, and Gallas, but only really Gallas will be felt as a substantial loss to our back four, and lets be honest he has always kind of been a square peg in a round hole sort of guy. I mean none of the partnerships he has formed have been particularly prolifiic and while he made some good plays and scored some good goals he also spent a HUGE amount of time out on the sidelines...Robin van Gallas anyone?

Campbell made a fine cameo appearance for us last year, but that was when the ship was sinking, we couldn´t really rely on him to do much more 35 and aging this season. Then we have Senderos...well he signed for Everton over a year ago so I don´t even know why we are talking about him (tee hee, couldn't resist)

But seriously, when the four centrebacks, who left have gone to Bremen, Newcastle, Fulham and some other shit team that plays in white and are 33, 35, 24 (okay young), and 33, there is no need to wet your bed while your brother is sleeping in the bottom bunk because of scawwy nightmawwes about dwwagons.

Put it this way. Squillaci + Koscielney > Silvestre + Campbell + Senderos + Gallas

Then we signed Chamakh Attack...Chamakhzillah, the Killer, the Thrillah, Looks like a Dinosaur, Hattrick versus Villah?! And he's better than Eduardo. I mean, he walks without a cane...

Too soon? OK fair enough, but seriously a 26-year-old aerial demon with amazing hair, is better than a consistently injured Croazilian who is capable of some pretty amazing things, like awesome dives, but he's probably just not up to the pace of the Premier League anymore.

11. I promise to love Chamakh ALMOST as much as Bendtner.

So there you have it. I think our best team going into this first half the season, currently sitting a sexy second in the league, is.


Sagna (last year I said Eboue, but he´s on fire again)—Koscielney—Verm—Clichy (Gibbs if he´s fit)


Fab-Nasri (Diaby if not fit)

Theo-VP (Chamakh if not fit)-Arshavin

That´s it for now...

Later Arseheads.


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