A Sneak Peak at Tim Tebow's Heisman Acceptance Speech

It's true—I've been given the honor of writing Tim Tebow's Heisman acceptance speech.

We're actually quite close, Tim and I.

We met back in September of 2006. And to be honest, I wasn't too fond of Tebow when University of Tennessee PA announcer Bobby Denton first introduced me to him.

Neither were my 107,000 close friends in Neyland Stadium—especially not when Tebow bulldozed for a successful fourth-down conversion to seal Florida's victory over UT.

Over the past few months, though, Tim and I have become better friends. I've sympathized with him over his cell phone troubles before the LSU-UF game, and over his school's now-infamous tasing incident.

Only close friends would know that the tasing incident actually shook Tim pretty deeply.

Tim even wears the same jersey number I wore when I was a football player—No. 15. When I played, I didn't steamroll defensive linemen like my new friend does—but I was known to practice a jump-pass or two.

So it only seems right that Tim asked me to write his acceptance speech. 

Without further ado, here's a sneak peak...

Umm...wow...I really don't know what to say.  I'm really stunned that I've been given the honor to stand up here before all of you fine people.

Originally, I felt that coming to New York was an honor in itself, but now I feel a little nervous that I've actually won—it truly wasn't expected. 

If you'll excuse me—I'd feel a little more comfortable addressing all of you if I could wear my cape. 

[pull out red cape and drape over back]

I hope this doesn't distract some of you—it just helps me feel a little more at ease.

Now that that's taken care of, I'd like to thank several people: my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, my parents, Coach Meyer, Coach Mullen, my offensive line, the receivers, and the fine Gator fans all over the great state of Florida.

Without these people, my success as a Gator really wouldn't have come full circle.

And Chris Leak, wherever you are—thank you as well. You taught me a lot about football, and even more about perseverance.

I was originally going to use this forum to address the issues that face the Philippine Islands. As many of you may know, I grew up in a Christian household that believed heavily in mission work. My father started his own evangelical association, and I would highly encourage you to join us with our cause. You can find more information about his organization at btea.org.

But that said, since I'm standing in front of a lot of sports-minded people, I felt it better to use my time to address an important sports-related issue.

I'm still not feeling quite comfortable up here—can someone cue the Florida marching band's version of that Jaws song?

No? Okay, I guess I'll have to do without—after all, Chris Leak did teach me to press on when faced with adversity.

By the way, on a side note—UF fans, I love you, but y'all put me in quite a spot last year. Leak was a great player; y'all didn't need to boo the man.

Back to the topic at hand:

The issue I wanted to talk about is these signs I keep seeing on GameDay every Saturday morning.

Seriously, fans—what are you thinking?

As players and coaches, we work very hard throughout the week to keep things exciting. Why else would we call double-reverse passes with Percy Harvin? Why else would anyone logically throw jump-passes?

The answer is for you—the fans. We're trying to entertain you. We know that blowouts over Western Kentucky and Florida State aren't very entertaining.

And all that we ask for in return is for halfway decent signs.

People, come on—get with the program!

It's like you wake up and cobble together some lame sayings that are supposed to make sense. They aren't funny.

I suggest you practice your penmanship. Practice the sign over and over. Coach Meyer always tells us that "practice makes perfect"—and I feel like that can be carried over to your signs.

Heck, organize team meetings, set up film study, call professional sign-makers—anything to hone your skills.

It's not that there haven't been some funny signs, but people, let's be honest—most could've been better. 

And I simply won't accept anything other than the best.

Anyway, my time here is up, New York.  Thank you once again for voting for me.  I can't tell you how thankful I am to be the first player to win the Heisman as a sophomore.

Unfortunately, I wouldn't really like being seen holding this Heisman with my cast.  It happens to be blue and my suit is black—and that's just not a good look.

If you photographers wouldn't mind, can we just take double the pictures next year?  Okay, good—sounds like a deal.

See you in a year!

Be sure to tune in Saturday, December 8th, at 7:00 PM EST on ESPN to see the full Heisman ceremony.