Brandon Spikes Naked on Sex Tape: A CSI Investigation

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Brandon Spikes has allegedly appeared on a sex tape to secure a place among the ranks of Paris Hilton and Kendra Wilkinson.

The bizarre story began when an anonymous e-mailer pinged Deadspin with an offer they apparently could refuse.

The e-mailer claimed to have a sex tape of "a prominent second-rounder from this year's draft" and wanted to share it with the world, without doing damage to the player's reputation—riiight.

After some back and forth, the mysterious e-mailer offered to give up the goods for a mere $1,500.  Deadspin said no, but the images and link to the video soon appeared on WorldStarHipHip.com.

Did Brandon Spikes really enter the high-stakes and amazingly creepy world of chatroulette?  Here's a closer look at the facts of the case and predictions of what the the fallout will be.

No. 10: Would Brandon Spikes Really Make a Sex Tape?

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Before beginning a full-fledged character assassination of Brandon Spikes, let's take a closer look a whether or not he would actually be dumb enough put himself out there for the whole world to see.

The participants in the video, both the man who resembles Spikes and the hot young thing who resembles a Kardashian, are fully aware of what is going on.

This isn't a situation where they were simply caught in the act.  This is a case of knowingly committing and sharing it with creepy dudes starting at computer screens in public libraries across the globe.

According to the e-mailer, this particular tape wasn't simply a one time thing.  Spikes allegedly enjoys sharing his talents with the world in chat rooms.

No. 9: The Visual Evidence Says Yes

Where would Lenny Briscoe start?  After uttering a priceless one-liner, he would begin with the painstaking the identification process.

In the particular case, the man behind the camera has a striking resemblance to Spikes.  Using facial recognition technology, it's difficult to say for sure.

Another similarity is in the tattoos.  Even in the soft mood lighting of room 323, it's difficult to miss.

No. 8: The Circumstantial Evidence Says Yes

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Based on the e-mailer's statement, it appears this wasn't the only indiscretion by the subject in the video.  If this statement is to be believed, the silly Spikes appears to have placed himself in the spotlight in an unconventional way.

During his college days, Spikes found a way to always be in the spotlight despite not being the best player on his defensive unit. 

Maybe that explains how he managed to be drafted in the second round despite running a 5.01 40-yard dash at Florida's pro day.

No. 7: The Forensic Evidence Isn't Clear

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Lenny Briscoe would call for backup on this part of the case.

Not even Gil Grissom could get to the bottom of the sex-tape mystery without the tapes themselves.  That would require getting a search warrant and tracing IP addresses.

Sadly, that's never going to happen.  It's beginning to look like solving this case might take an admission of guilt.

No. 6: When Did It Happen?

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The timeline always matters in these little puzzles, and it certainly matters in this case.

Did the man, who looks like Spikes, skip out with an afternoon tutoring session and head to the Econo Lodge?  Or did the act in question take place at a Marriott shortly after OTA's?

Getting to the bottom of the mystery of when the act in question happened could help solve the case.  At worst, it would be interesting for the public to discover. 

Could this merely be the silly actions of two young college kids?

No. 5: Only The People In The Tape Know Who They Are

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After the initial investigation turned up very little concrete evidence, it's clear the only way the case will be solved is if the man or woman steps forward and makes a statement regarding the tape, or even better, admits guilt.

At the moment, that has yet to happen.  Thankfully, the media will soon begin bombarding any and all parties with questions regarding the alleged sex tape debut of the Patriots' rookie linebacker.

No. 4: What Does Tim Tebow Think About This?

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Tim Tebow is about to be interviewed about something not remotely related to his quarterback play for the 12 millionth time in his iconic football career.

The media loves talking to Tebow, who is usually candid about any subject.  Premarital sex, his throwing motion, his willingness to win; he will make his feelings known about anything.

The alleged sex tape appearance by his former teammate isn't likely to illicit a revealing answer from Tebow, who is probably going to be completely clueless.  Honestly, what is he supposed to know?

No. 3: Urban Meyer's Hatred Of The Media Festers

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No matter when they occurred, the alleged actions of Brandon Spikes aren't going have a positive impact on the reputation of the Florida football.

Urban Meyer isn't likely to comment on the tape, but if he does, he will most likely throw in a few jabs at the "bloggers" who hang around and look for sensational stories.

After all, what happens in the private lives of players is nobody's business, right?

No. 2: How Will The Hoodie Handle This?

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Like his close friend Urban Meyer, Bill Belichick is likely to have a say in all of this.  Even if it is "no comment."

Belichick has more important things to worry about as the regular season approaches, like for example if he will start Brandon Spikes at linebacker.

Ultimately, don't expect the great and powerful Belichick to have much to say about the alleged transgressions of his rookie.

No. 1: Will Roger Goodell Want to See The Tape?

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Roger Goodell's reign of discipline is very holistic, so it figures that a starring role in sex tape probably violates several aspects of the NFL's infamous Code of Conduct.

Unless it is proved beyond a reasonable doubt that Spikes is indeed the lucky dude in the video, there is no chance he will face discipline stemming from the incident.  In fact, he might not have to even get the usually stern talking to from the mighty commish.

It's a good thing there wasn't a glass of purple drank visible on the nightstand next to the bed.