The longest episodic show on prime television has now lived up to it's name. Monday Night RAW, the flagship show of WWE, Mr. McMahon's brain child and subsequent future has just made history by airing it's nine hundredth episode.
Congratulations WWE RAW. And to Smack Down...you have big shoes to fill.
With that aside, the article can finally get underway because it honestly - and without so much as a shadow of a doubt - is not about RAW hitting the big 9-0-0. It's not about reiterating and highlighting all of the events that made RAW great. It's not about listing out the accomplishments of each and every RAW Superstar nor is it about profiling the strategies that WWE used to make RAW into a record-making show.
No, my gentle readers, this article is nothing so grand. Rather it's more about recapping tonight's events. And coupling facts with opinions.
To kick things off Brett came out and basically reminisced about days of yore and eventually spilled over to the Undertaker. It was then that Kane chose to emerge and conclusively state that he needed to take out Brett just like his brother took out Micheals. Suddenly the Phenom arrived and his brother ran off. Things were going towards friendlier beginnings when our "mystery GM" stepped up and announced our main event match. Taker vs. Brett.
So much for happy beginnings eh.
For the ones who missed out, don't let this match card fool you. Brett and Taker didn't even get the chance to size each other up let alone land a punch on one another because the minute the two legends stood in the ring, the lights vanished and in comes Wade Barrett. He boasts to beat down the two decrepit men, but gets thrown out for his efforts. The match looks to resume then once again the lights go out. Five seconds later the lights are back, Brett is gone and in his place? The Big Red Monster. Taker attacks his bro, and has him set up for a choke slam when what happens? The lights went out again.
At this moment I thought that WWE seriously needs to look into getting their lighting fixed. Or maybe Boston didn't have enough power to run such a historic event. No diss to Boston here, I'm just saying.
Anyways, the lights go out and Nexus is in the ring. Kane has vanished. Taker holds his own, but like clockwork, the dang lights fade out only to come back and reveal the Deadman a few seconds away from eating the mat. Wade slams him to the floor and then Gabriel hits a 450 splash to seal the deal.
On a serious note here, this main event should have:
A. Never happened.
Or B. Uh...never happened.
Brett vs Taker = An negative integer on my scale.
I want to take this moment to just quickly (and I stress heavily on that word) run through the prior matches that took place on the record-breaking 900th episode of RAW.
1. Divas tag match. Nothing much to say here, but in the field of good commentary I'll at least give a few claps to the idea of just meshing the Diva's Title and the Women's Championship belt together. WHC and WWE Title mesh together? That'll never happen. But unifying the Diva's only titles into one major belt?? Brilliant.
Ah the sweet smell of sarcasm.
2. That NXT thing that had Miz and his rookie (who's name ALWAYS evades me) coming out victorious at the expense of Daniel Byran's never happened, never will happen type of career. This match might as well not have happened. Is it worthy of RAW's historic night? Hell flipping no.
3. CM pointing out RAW's misguiding leadership and doctrines. Big Show making jokes. The first part I enjoyed and it helped us to remember the good times. The latter wasn't necessary or needed in any way, shape or form.
4. A lack thereof tag match for the number one contender ship. First off, why oh why is Cody going back to tag teaming?? Does he want to end up like his failed ex-partner Ted?? Secondly, this match was downright UNNECESSARY. Why? Well let's just subtract the fact that no one won or lost and we have a remaining pile of utter sh-... I apologize.
5. If I forgot anything, it's because whatever it was that I forgot was forgettable.
Back on track we step into the final hour of RAW's historic 900th episode. Five Nexus members vs Team "WWE" (aka Team RAW). I was disappointed that Skip was not showing up and that I'd be forced to see more of Otunga than I ever wanted to, but that small incidence took backseat to what conspired ahead.
Let's reveal the cogs of the bigger picture.
Chris Jericho. The man has proved time and time again that he is anti-you, anti-Cena, and anti-WWE. Sure he came to the aid at Summer Slam but he beat down his " comrade" two seconds later after being eliminated. Then came tonight, backstage and an interview by Josh. Chris stated that he was going to win at Night of Champions or lose and be gone from the WWE for good.
Why? Jericho as we all know is the best at what he does, so why the masochistic threat? Well, one speculation is this: Chris Jericho is working with the Nexus. However, such a speculation is as it states and so personally I'm all up to hearing more or just waiting till NOC 2010 to see if anything more reveals itself to this corner.
RAW #900 made sure that I didn't have to do either. Jericho went into the ring, looked Traver dead in the eye and... rolled out of the ring, walked away with a smile, got counted out and subsequently eliminated. Wow. What a mouthful.
Edge. Big bad Rated-R Superstar steps up to the plate after Jericho's voluntary elimination. Before I touch on this, let me just give a brief history reciting. Edge -much like Jericho -did not care about saving, aiding, or being of any use to Team WWE. He was quite content with watching WWE fall to Nexus at Summer Slam while he'd just outlast the new era much like he has for all his career. Obviously that honest streak ran out and Edge came to the aid of his Team. After Summer Slam it seemed like RAW was willing to put aside differences to fight the good - and common - fight.
Such naivety is the reason why fairies don't exist, and pigs can't and will never fly. Edge has his own agenda - winning at NOC - and so after giving a cocky smirk to Tarver, he shoved the ref, got disqualified and was eliminated.
Sheamus. The Celtic Warrior stepped in a put up a good enough fight, but it was clear who was more dominant and so our soon-to-be-former-WWE-Champion was eliminated by Heath Slater.
Now it's down to RKO and John Cena. Wait. Back up a little. Randy is still here. Now that is surprising. Honestly, I watched the match expecting Randy to jump Cena, beat him down and walk away. Why? Because it's Randy flipping Orton. He needs no reason to beat up people. Never has and never will.
In terms of the bigger picture, Randy Orton is like Sheamus. He's not a part of it all. He doesn't care about anything else expect that title and his new found obsession of beating the pale man via pin fall. Yes, Edge and Jericho want the title too, but they've blatantly turned their backs on WWE whereas greatness is willing to at least try and salvage his company when his services are called upon.
Back to the oversight that is John Cena. This man led Team WWE (Team RAW) to victory at Summer Slam 2010. He lives, breathes and loves the WWE and so will do anything possible to not see WWE fall. That dream remained as such because fast forward and John's in the ring getting beat down for his efforts. As usual, he goes against all odds and does his patent move set and eventually outs Heath and Otunga. Then Wade Barrett pounced and attacked. Justin did a 450 splash and goodbye John.
Brakes. Randy - and NOT John Cena - is the last man standing. I was at the edge of my seat.
Greatness enters the ring and eliminates Justin and Tarver. However, he fails to end Wade Barrett and the Englishman slams him to the floor, pins him and Nexus walks away victorious.
Normally, such an ending would be called unfair because we all know had it been Cena who remained as Team WWE's only hope, the end result would mirror that of this past Summer Slam. However, this time around I applauded. I applauded Wade's victory. I smiled at the video image of a beaten Randy Orton lying beside the victor that was Wade Barrett. I was more than happy that Randy was the one to receive the final pin. And there is a simple reason for such mad proclamations.
Randy losing lastly to Wade spells only good things for Mr. Orton. At first I had decided that because of the way the story lines were heading, Randy not winning at NOC 2010 would be the right thing to do. I had given up hope of seeing the return of a glorious Age Of Orton. Such depressing feelings - that stemmed solely from Randy's backstage speech at NOC 2009 - were instantly vanquished the second that referee's hand hit the mat to make the three count.
The bigger picture revealed in Orton's favor.
At NOC 2010, Sheamus will walk in as WWE Champion and out as former WWE Champion. John Cena being of sound mind and boring spirit will not be screaming "the Champ is here!" on the RAW following that wonderful Sunday. Nay I say to Edge claiming the prize as he is indeed a former shell of himself and furthermore will not be seizing any opportunities because lady luck has left the building. The superstar who claims he is the best in the world at what he does will live up to that claim by losing this match thanks to his own warped stupidity that will undoubtedly come from his ever-growing ego. Wade Barrett - despite all efforts - will not be victorious at NOC 2010 simply because he is nothing compared to the last man in this match. And that man is greatness itself: Randy Orton.
Randy Orton will be the one to relinquish Sheamus of the WWE Title.
Well, like I said, dreams like this is the reason why pigs can't fly. Realistically, and -let's face it - logically... Sheamus, RKO, Edge and Cena can't win at NOC because they're all dead ends. Edge has no feud right now and it won't change should he win. Randy's beef is with Sheamus and winning will keep the pale man in a storyline. And I can't have that. Cena winning is self- explanatory. It's worse than Edge walking out as the new WWE Champion. Think about it people. Should some malfunction in the Universe occur and John Cena wins at NOC 2010, we will be seeing a lot of the same old sh-... I mean... stuff that we've been seeing since the dawning of Fatal Fourway. And that is another match between Edge, Sheamus, RKO and Chris that has them eventually coming together, holding hands in unison and fighting the good fight against their common enemy: The Nexus.
The possible winners are unfortunately Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett. For Chris it'd ensure that he stays in the company, and hopefully (if WWE thinks like I do) it'd somehow weave into a WWE takeover courtesy of Jericho and his Nexus bodyguards. For Wade, the win couldn't be simpler and more devastating. The Nexus would gain full redemption and we the WWE fans would get a champion LESS credible than Sheamus.
In the end, no matter how much I spin it, the fact is that anyone can win at NOC and this maddening circle would undoubtedly continue. However, going back to RAW's 900th episode, I can say - at least at this moment - that the stars have aligned for Randy Orton ensuring that his time is now. Sadly though, the term "now" - in the context surrounding Randy Orton -is an indefinite entity when it is coupled with such unprecedented predictions. Nonetheless, I will say a prayer and merely hope that greatness will leave Night Of Champions 2010 as the new WWE Champion.
RKO FOR LIFE!