NASCAR's 10 Hottest Bodies of 2010
We all know "who wears the fire suit" at Bleacher Report: scantily-clad women in slide shows, and the writers who garner hundreds of thousands of hits by displaying the "assets" of one sport or another's athletes, wives, girlfriends, second-cousins' sisters' friends' roommates, etc.
Oops. I almost forgot the clearly newsworthy pictures of women who totally thought about this one super-cool sport when they were, like, 12 or something, but then were photographed wearing a swimsuit made of high-grade twine at 18.
Sorry, folks, but it had to be done: Kara Martin threw down the gauntlet.
Martin's well-read feature blessed the female members of the Bleacher Report NASCAR community, showing off the supposed hunks of NASCAR.
This challenge simply can't go unanswered, not when there are women like Chrissie Newman, Katie Kenseth, Ingrid Vandebosch, Amanda Sadler, and the above-pictured DeLana Harvick blessing the infield and the pits every race.
You didn't really think you would get away with that did you, Kara? (Leaving off Brad Keselowski and Kurt Busch...did you really think it would go unnoticed?)
As Katy Perry was mandated to answer Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind" with her smash hit, "California Gurls," so I must respond to Ms. Martin's blatant sexualization of NASCAR's finest drivers.
Allow me to retort.
I present to you: the ten best bodies NASCAR has to offer in 2010.
Yes, Kara needed 15 slides. I can do it in 10. Enjoy.
No. 10: Green Is Your Lucky Color
There's still that old superstition in the NASCAR garage that green is an unlucky color.
Well, it might be true. This lovely body hung around the back of the field all day at the Toyota/SaveMart 350 in Sonoma, Calif., but all those cars passing her sure had a nice view.
Ms. Green gave a wink, whether an enamored driver brushed up against her side, admired the view from behind, or simply took in all that green up front while staring at her (admittedly fake) headlights.
This body was so hot that it even needed some time to cool down in the garage during the race, giving the mechanics in charge some time to check out just what was going on under her hood.
No. 9: All-American Body
There's nothing like a classic, no-frills, all-American body.
You want athletic? It doesn't get much more athletic than the Olympics, folks.
You want further proof that she's a winner? This Budweiser / USA Olympics (Vancouver) body made her way to Victory Lane in a Gatorade Duel Race.
Look at the wing on that baby. Better look quickly, too, because five races later, you wouldn't be able to find it ever again...
No. 8: Body on Body, With Frosted Tips
Jamie McMurray is often seen sporting the colors of Bass Pro Shops, but on a warm summer day on Michigan, he brought out the (almost) baby blue Norelco bodygroom body, relegating BPS and McDonald's to the quarterpanel.
That's a lot of body for just one car.
Junk in the trunk? Oh, you betcha. This sweet hunk of metal could only manage a 20th-place finish in the Irish Hills.
No. 7: Legendary Body
Well, I was going to restrict this to the hotties of the Cup Series only, but I'll make a special exception for this well-known beauty.
Sure, no one will argue about the fact that she's been around the block a few times, but she still looked awfully good sitting in Victory Lane after the July Nationwide Series race at Daytona.
Take one good, long last look at this body, because you'll never see it again.
From her cute little bowtie nose all the way to her classic back end, this body has all the markings of a true legend.
No. 6: A Body AND Brains
Sure, eye candy is nice, but sometimes don't you want a little smarts to go with those good looks?
This hot body has it all. She's exotic, beautiful, and intelligent, and she's not afraid to tell you that right up front.
Just keep in mind that she's paid to know your secrets. Cheating is not recommended (are you listening, Chad?).
No. 5: And She Cares About the Environment
Remember, it's not just the way she's wrapped.
So, sure, brown and green might have been an odd choice for body paint for Phoenix in April, but taking pride in the planet is still pretty hot these days.
One note of caution: if she smells like Old Spice, it won't matter how sleek her body is; off the list she comes.
No. 4: Party Girl
This body was made for partying and is bold enough to be decked out in royal purple from head to toe.
She's the one that never seems to catch your attention for the first two-thirds of the party, but when it's time to go home, she'll really kick it into high gear.
No. 3: I Love Love
Who doesn't love love?
Not only does she have a beautiful body, but she helps out kids in need.
Like bunnies, unicorns, little baby seals, and the girl next door, she couldn't be any sweeter and to many, she's simply an angel.
No. 2: Sweet Chocolate Body
Oh, you know you want this.
This is one truly delicious body, so you can be forgiven if your mouth is watering right now.
The only downside? From that nibble, it looks likes she might already be spoken for.
Some say she's a bit too aggressive, so don't be surprised if she takes a bite out of you, especially if you find yourself in Richmond in May.
But, all is not lost. You can always send your Dad in to fight for her!
No. 1: Nothing Finer Than a Carolina (Blue) Body
Hey, who is that guy staring at her rear end? Dude, leave her alone! You have no chance!
They are always made special in Carolina, and this one not only knows her way around a toolbox, she also supports the troops...all while looking beautiful.
As someone who lives in the self-proclaimed "Southern Part of Heaven," I can promise you that there's a reason the sky is painted the same color as this truly gorgeous body.