As soon as the Pittsburgh-West Virginia and Oklahoma-Missouri games were decided this weekend, ESPN immediately sent it back to their circus of a college football studio...so the nation wouldn’t have to wait another millisecond to receive what it had been craving:

Mark May’s genius opinion.

Let me be the first to say that the combination of Rece Davis, Lou Holtz, and Mark May is about as entertaining as getting punched in the junk by Buster Douglas.

Holtz was a great coach, and I appreciate his on-the-job experience. But it would be a lot easier on everybody if someone would just interview him and type out what he says in the form of an article.

I know he had some health issues and he’s a tough fellow, but listening to Holtz talk is quite an ordeal.

As for Mark May—or "Mayday" as his work buddies have so creatively nicknamed him—I really don’t know how much more I can handle.

I’ll admit that I'm a Buckeye fan, but I try my best to stay objective when I write. However, since I AM a Buckeye fan, I have seen all their games.

I have also seen all of LSU’s games, because CBS loves to keep shoving the spectacular, "insightful" duo of Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson in our faces every Saturday.

Here’s football wizard Mark May’s brilliant opinion—and by opinion, I mean "I’m Mark May, and this is so obviously true, it might as well be a FACT":

Without hesitation, "Mayday" proclaimed LSU the no-doubt-whatsoever BCS champs, because "their speed is too much for the Buckeyes."

As if to say that Ohio State, who has held SEVEN teams to SEVEN points or less, has been playing in slow motion all season.

IconI know LSU is very fast—I’m not denying that. They may even be a tad faster at certain positions.

But the Buckeyes have blazing speed all over their defense. And on offense, Ted Ginn and Anthony Gonzalez may be gone, but current receivers Brian Robiskie, Brian Hartline, and Ray Small all run sub-4.5 40s.

It’s obvious what’s going on in Mark May’s Einsteinian mind: Last year’s BCS title game, when Florida ran over and through the Buckeyes, has totally overwhelmed his judgment.

I’m not here to say that I'm definitely sure Ohio State will beat LSU, or vice-versa. But I at least have the common sense to see that both teams have equal speed.

Plus, the Buckeyes have lost only four games over the past three seasons, and all four were against spread offenses with running quarterbacks—in other words, not LSU's style.

I know everyone is entitled to an opinion. But come on, Mark:

At least come up with some actual reasons to support yours, since, you know, you’re an "expert"—or at least you play one on ESPN.