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After reading the brilliant article from the Queen of Bleacher Report, I felt compelled to remember the words of that late, great, American philosopher George Carlin...

Top-10 Reasons Why Baseball Is Better Than Football

by BabyTate (Senior Writer)

52

1027 reads

Rankings/List

August 04, 2008


After reading the brilliant article from the Queen of Bleacher Report, I felt compelled to remember the words of that late, great, American philosopher George Carlin. I feel as though his spirit possessed me to answer on behalf of the great American pastime.

Here is a cupping of a featured monologue from the first broadcast of Live! It's Saturday Night! in 1975. And all apologies and/or thanks to Lisa, George, and NBC.

1) Baseball is different from other sports. The ball is put in play by the defensive team and is allowed to be touched only by the defensive team.

2) Baseball is a pastoral game. Football is a technological struggle.

3) Baseball is played in a park and the dimensions could be vastly different from setting to setting. Football is played upon a regimented gridiron of the same size in stadiums.

4) Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life and renewal. Football begins in the fall, when everything is dying.

5) Baseball has no time limit; we don't know when it might end. We could even have extra innings lasting until tomorrow! Football is rigidly timed and will end, even if we have to go to sudden death!

6) In football, you receive a penalty. In baseball, you make...an error!

7) Football is concerned with downs—what down is it? Baseball is concerned with ups— who's up?

8) Football has unnecessary roughness, spearing, clipping, piling on, late hitting, and personal fouls. Baseball has the sacrifice.

9) In football, you wear a helmet. In baseball, you wear a cap.

10) The object of football is for the field general to march his troops down the field using an air or ground assault, often in defiance of a blitz, while punching holes in the wall of the enemy's defensive line. In baseball, the object is to go home...and be safe.

 

Now that's as good a description as I've ever read of the difference between the two sports. And that's not even mentioning the picture of the sausage races in Milwaukee!

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52 comments Last one added 10 months ago — Leave a Comment

  1. ...

    I like this article, simply because it clears up a lot gray areas to me as to which is the better of the two sports. Nice work as always Baby Tate.

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    Don't get me wrong, football is my favorite sport, but this was a great article. Very true observations at some points. It is America's past-time.....

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    Sensational article. I LOVE college football, but I'm OBSESSED by baseball.

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      Ol' Alex. I couldn't find anyway to put Penn State in this piece. I'll get you next time!

      Thanks for the comment my friend.

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    i appreciate any nod to carlin. great idea.

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    george carlin was a funny, funny man. i saw this bit not too long ago on youtube. good stuff.

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    Number for is what does it for me. During the winter I cannot wait for baseball and spring to get here. Spring training means that the weather is about to break up in the cold north that is Michigan and I have another full summer of baseball to watch.

    Great article.

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    great article

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    haha funny, but #4 is wrong. football never dies, as soon as the bowls are over its the countdown to signing day, then a couple months till spring practice, then the summer camps go on and we get a look at next years recruits and then the season starts

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    I love George Carlin, But I never got this one. Why is basebal better?

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    To me, this article(and I felt this way the first time I saw Carlin do this bit) does a better job of highlighting why FOOTBALL is a BETTER sport than BASEBALL. The things apparently intended to be derogatory are very much the kinds of things that make the game more fun to watch, especially on TV.

    And BTW, baseball may be "America's Past time", but football is America's Passion!

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    Great read, but still like Football better. Between the NFL Nation and College Football fanatics, the game never dies and by the way Favre's been nominated the President.

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    Ah, nice. Maybe George should have said, "with all its disadvantages, why is football still better than baseball?"

    Reminds me of Homer at an Isotopes game, sans beer, saying, "You know, I never realized just how boring baseball is..."

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    Another difference is that in baseball we go out to play. In football we go to war.

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    Great outlook on the sports, but lets get serious as a sport football is better. Keep up the good work!

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    I like when Carlin talks about how the managers in baseball wear the same uniform as the players, and then he says, "Can you imagine Bill Parcells wearing shoulder pads and a helmet?"

    This is a great skit by Carlin. Very nice article as well.

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  1. ...

    Baseball is sooooooooooo bleeding boring!

    Here is baseball in a nutshell:

    "Hello boys and girls and welcome again to PNC Park here in beautiful downtown Pittsburgh, PA. Tonight the Pirates try to snap an 11-game losing streaks as they play host to the division-leading Chicago Cubs. Leading off for the Cubs is Alfonso Soriano who has been in a slump lately with a batting average of just over 0.200. Here's the pitch.

    Ball One.

    The weather tonight should be fair, with about a 20% chance of showers. Winds are mild and the temperature is hovering just about 70 degrees. Couldn't ask for a better night for baseball. Ain't that right Chuck?"

    "You bet, Bill!"

    "Ball Two.

    Paul Maholm is making his 10th start tonight. The 26 year old has been inconsistent of late with an ERA of 3.35. The Clubhouse is hoping he can turn things around tonight. He looked good in warm ups

    Foul ball. The count is now 2 balls and 1 strike.

    So Chuck, what do think of the Pirates chances of ending this 11-game skid tonight?"

    "Well Bill, I think if the starting line-up can get their bats on the ball, the Pirates can do some serious damage. The first four in the line-up have been struggling to get on base lately and when you can't do that, you can't win games."

    "Well put, Chuck....foul ball down the right field line."

    HOLY S**T, SHOOT ME NOW! AND THAT'S ONLY BEEN 4 PITCHES! ITS SOOOOO BORING! I'd rather watch the National Spelling Bee! And why sooooo many damn games? Does each team really need to play 3,458 games in a season?

    The playoffs are a little more exciting, but even that drags on!

    Give me football!

    But it was definitely an funny article. Not bashing you BabyTate...just the sport.

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      Kent, you're actually setting up a pretty good evening of baseball with that description.

      Appreciate the comment and the good work you provide the B/R.

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      I don't mind a going to a baseball game but watching it on television is awful. I'd rather get a root canal.

      Now if someone is going for a Perfect game or a No-hitter...that is exciting. But it doesn't have the action that football does.

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    Good article, good observations. However, those observations for me mean the article should have been titled, "Top-10 reasons why baseball is WORSE than football."

    I grew up playing baseball almost daily, but football is just more fun. Maybe it is because I grew up a Cubs fan. No, wait, that also made me a Bears fan.

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      With all the negative fallout concerning the Cubs and their past 100 years of trials, I'm surprised more Chicago fans don't question this:

      George Halas coached the Chicago Bears for 45 years from 1922-1967. In that time he won 5 NFL world championships.

      Since Halas retired the Bears have won 1 NFL World Championship. 1 in the past 45 years, a freakish title season in 1985 that people still point to as one of the great years of any team of alltime.

      Could there be a Papa Bear curse?

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    Good find, nice article. George Carlin was a hilarious comedian but a lot of these points are spot on. My only issue with the list is point number four. Assuming you live in a region of the states that experiences four seasons football provides an outlet for something to do while sitting around inside. During the spring and summer it's much more difficult to justify staying inside considering you likely only have 6 months of warm weather to enjoy outside (assuming you don't leave the confines of your home to actually go to a baseball game).

    Also, point number five only pertains to professional football and not college.

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      Thanks for the idea that weather conditions could have something to do with how we view the sports. Good comment.

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    Those ten reasons are exactly why football is BETTER than baseball. Who wants a game that has no time limit? Or a game where the playing field is completely different depending on where you play? Bottom line to me is this: baseball might be more fun to play but as a fan, there's no sport I'd rather watch than football. It's intense, it's exciting, it requires incredibly complex strategy, and it demands a combination of hand-eye coordination, strength and physical fitness from its players. The best athletes in the world are football players. If you can be an alcoholic fat guy and still be one of the best players in the history of your sport, that's not a very good sport.

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      Matt, that's a great input. Thanks for the comment.

      I do have to take offense with your last sentence and its negative portrayal of Art Donavan.

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      I will say this in defense to baseball...besides getting a hole in one, hitting a major league baseball is the hardest thing to do in sports. If you can hit the ball over 30% of the time over your career...welcome to Cooperstown.

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    Haha I love your articles babytate

    they always seem so "controversial"

    if I were to write this I would seem like a jackass haha

    great article

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    Lol... knew this was coming after I read Lisa's article yest.

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    Ha! Nice article...my POTD! But they do wear helmets in baseball...when they are at the plate and running bases. Wimps! (J/k)

    Nice job baby! We should do "he said, she said" every now and then! Hugs!

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    Baseball is boring unless you watch it in person. You rarely get to see a player hit another player to try and knock the ball out (sliding into home plate). When the catcher drops the ball, no one can pick it up and run around the bases or anything, the play is just dead and the guy is safe. In football someone is trying to knock the ball out on every single play. In baseball you don't have opposite teams going for the ball, which means there are rarely collisions. Baseball is too basic, you can only score two ways, by reaching home plate or hitting the ball over the fence. In football you have field goals, td passes, td runs, interception returns, fumble returns, punt returns, kick returns, safeties. I am a baseball fan but its not even close! The only thing about baseball is its America's past time and I respect it.

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      Well you could say that you could only score two ways in football- holding the ball while crossing the goal line or kicking the ball through the goal posts. Actually three- tackling a guy in his own endzone. Or you could say you can score lots of ways in baseball just like football- drive a guy in with a single double or triple, sacrifice fly, come home on wild pitch, suicide squeeze.
      I love both sports, but baseball is my favorite. I think being a good hitter is the hardest thing in sports. But, football is also very hard to play, you have to be tough and resilient

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      Baseball is great in person. I watch the playoffs, All Star Game, and World Series on TV and enjoy it.

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    BabyTate said:
    "We need more Texas Tech input. I'm a big believer in the Red Raiders this season."

    Yeah the raiders are getting a LOT of attention this season! I attended both yesterday's and today's practice workouts (including a pic with Harrell and Crabtree :P ) and the team seems solid. Thank you for supporting us.

    BabyTate said:
    "Thanks for the comment."

    Thanks for the article!

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    Two things I love about Baseball. #1 Like you metioned, it begins in the spring. Just when were itching to get outside from a long cold winter. We get excited knowing warm weather is around the corner and spring training and the home opener is a day for excitement. Its signals more than just the start of the season.

    #2, Baseball uses a variety of stats which help make the game interesting. BA, OBP, OBPS, etc. Knowing the stats and trying to evaluate players and teams is fun. Not as fun using other sports statistics.

    Also, any idea why we call it a foul pole, but if the ball hits it, its ruled fair. Shouldnt it be a fair pole?

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      Raj, I agree with you on both points. Also, I've wondered why it's not the Fair Pole?

      Thanks for the good input and comment.

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    What can I say that has not already been said? I know I'm a little late on this article (with all my computer troubles the past couple of days), but I like it and have to totally agree with Matt above. These are the reasons why I love college football. The next three weeks are going to be so painfully slow! I've got to start pulling out old football games to help me kill the time!

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    #9 is ma,king football better in football you get a head on collision you wont get hurt tht bad in base a line drive to the face mean Disabled List for you

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    pass the bong tate.

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    Top Ten? That's all you could come up with. This is a joke, right?

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    im not a fan of baseball but that was good

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