The Liver went to his back alley doctor for an annual check-up this week and the nurse drawing his blood got drunk after two vials. Then the doctor came in and ordered the Liver to drop his pants. Not a good sign. After a Xanax 'script, a cough, and a “Moooon River," the patient was ordered to go home and get some sleep.
Luckily Pittsburgh and Cleveland are playing on Thursday night, so staying awake shouldn't be a problem.
In fact, the Liver plans to be fast asleep after the first quarter and a six-pack, which should leave him plenty rested to work on the rest of the week's picks...and he needs to have another good one, because Doc's new boat isn't going to pay for itself. Medical insurance? That's a form of gambling, and we don't condone gambling around here.
Of course it goes without saying that the following Thursday pick AGAINST THE SPREAD is for RECREATIONAL USE ONLY. Only Michael Richards, all players on the New York Giants, Joe Namath, Mel Gibson, and Jay Cutler (is it me or does he always look hung-over?) would be drunk enough to question the Esteemed Liver’s pick.
Last week’s record: 9-7
2006 Record against the Spread: 91-95-6
Thursday, December 7
Cleveland (+7 ½) at Pittsburgh
Which is more pathetic: Bryant Gumbel trying to do play-by-play, or Rich Eisen trying to throw a football? Ah, the NFL Network is grand...if you’re one of the 255 people who actually gets it. Cleveland had a nice OT win over the Chiefs last week, and Pittsburgh beat a truly pathetic Buccaneers team. The problem for the Steelers is that they’re running out of healthy players: Hines Ward, Cedrick Wilson, and Troy Polamalu are all out for this game. For the Browns, Charlie Frye is listed as questionable, and Romeo Crennel has not made a decision as to whether Frye or Derek Anderson will start at QB. Anderson had a decent game against the Chiefs, going 12 for 21 for 171 yards, 2 TDs, and 1 INT—plus a 33-yard run that set up the winning field goal in OT. My question: Why not let Anderson start just to see what he's made of? It’s not like this game has ANY IMPORTANCE WHATSOEVER. Oh well. Look for Cleveland to try to avenge a narrow loss in Week 11. Pick: Cleveland
Ever since Lebron James arrived in Cleveland fans have had to put up with fear of him doing the same thing that athletes have done to them in the past. I am not losing any sleep over the prospect of it happeneing and nethier sh... (Read More)
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about 1 year ago
he is the worst commentator i have ever heard. where the fuck is his brother? he was actually decent.
as for the liver...stay clean man, it sounds like Cirrhosis is only a few cases away!
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