Athens, GA - Following the recognition of the Georgia Bulldogs as the preseason number one team by the Coaches, school president Dr. Michael Adams has petitioned the NCAA to end the football season now.
"I mean, obviously the coaches know what they're talking about," Adams said. "Why on earth do we need to waste time and money playing the season now? Gas is four-freaking-dollars a gallon."
Adams added: "Why should we waste that kind of money on a trip to Baton Rouge, Tempe, or Auburn since we're already national champions?"
Adams' proposal would give Georgia the national championship and names "The" Ohio State University as the runner-up.
"It's only fitting," Adams said.
This is not the first time Dr. Adams has been involved in NCAA matters. He famously took the high road on ESPN's Outside the Lines in 2002 citing a rift between "Academics vs. Athletics."
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Adams has constantly been helping UGA come to forefront in athletic integrity by hiring quality figures such as Jim Harrick to mold Bulldog boys into Bulldog men.
If Adams' petition is granted by the NCAA and the BCS, Georgia will win its first championship since 1980 and only its third consensus championship in school history.
"I agree with Dr Adams that it probably is superfluous for us to play the season," Coach Mark Richt said. "I mean, we finished #2 last year and the #1 team [LSU] lost its top two quarterbacks. Game over, baby."
Although the petition is popular in Georgia, Adams' proposal has caused great backlash a little farther south.
"Look, they danced in the endzone last year," Urban Meyer said. "Did you see that? It was bulls***. They don't deserve a freebee championship."
"By the way, I'm writing a book about it. There are seven chapters devoted to their little endzone dance. I was really tissues about the whole thing," Meyer added.
Meyer did agree with Adams' decision to declare who the BCS runner-up would be.
"Well, yeah, clearly some SEC team will beat them again this year in Miami," Meyer said. "It's kind of like death and taxes."
Jim Tressel did not return fake phone calls seeking fake comments.
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4 months ago
lol. fun read.
good job.
i'll be looking forward to a long list of enraged comments.
from 4 months ago
Glad you liked it. Let's see how everyone's sense of humor is...
4 months ago
You are an asshole. Urban Meyer is God. Michael Adams is my favorite person ever. Also, I have some ocean front property in Arizona. You want to buy? I sell cheap.
Funny as hell Bryan. Also, if you arent going out to AZ for that game you should come down and enjoy some beach that weekend, as well as for GA-FLA.
4 months ago
Great read. I can't wait for the people who take everything way too serious to come in blasting.
4 months ago
Ok how does this sound Bryan? Maybe have a captain of the team get on the XBOX 360, get NCAA 09 and get online and play the game on the jumbotron of the stadium? Tim Tebow playing for the Gators and whoever on UGA playing for them. Save gas and it wouldn't be any freebee championships. All D-1 teams play their schedule. I think that's a better idea lol.
from 4 months ago
You may be right. The Problem is that Tebow likes the 360 and Stafford likes the PS3. When will we learn that what brings us together is stronger than what divides us?
from 3 months ago
Ok to keep it as real as possible, even though nobody likes this, put it on Wii. It'll still be a workout!
4 months ago
I like the idea of declaring GA the national champ now. Can I get a refund on my $3600 I sent for contributions and tickets? I tell you what, keep $200 and send me the DVD of the season.
On the other hand, I hear that FL has a plan to dance after they score in Jacksonville this year. Ol' Urb has hired the coordinator for the Rockettes to choreograph the entire routine. CBS has plans for the overhead camera to capture them in that formation where they lay down and spread their legs to make all kinds of shapes.
4 months ago
bryan: very good.
especially like the "fake phone calls seeking fake comments".
B/R sometimes gets way too serious!!!
4 months ago
"In an even more shocking move, Dr. Adams petitioned that the final 'win' of the season came at the expense of Ohio State, making it the third consecutive time that Ohio State has lost to an SEC team in a row.
According to Adams 'Everyone in the SEC can beat the Buckeyes anyway, why not just make this one official without having to subject the rest of America to another slaughtering of Ohio State?'
This would make it the first time that Ohio State loses to an SEC team in a theoretical matchup, despite having to not face the Bulldogs this season.
According to sources in Columbus, Ohio State head coach Jim Tressel agrees with Dr. Adams and Mark Richts' assessment of the hypothetical matchup. Beanie Wells is rumored to have blamed the loss on his hypothetical winning of the Heisman Trophy, making it the fourth time in a row that a team with a Heisman winner has lost their bowl game."
from 4 months ago
Very good, Ryan. You scooped me on quotes from Buckeye-land. Unfortunately my hypothetical cell phone was out of theoretical minutes today.
from 4 months ago
Hypothetically, I've got all the theoretical scoops on what goes on in Columbus, and the scenario was too good to pass up. ;)
Regardless, I laughed my ass off at the original article.
4 months ago
After they finish arresting UGA players for acting stupid, Adams and Richt may wish they could just waive the season.
4 months ago
lol...you have no idea how much the football fans hate Michael adams...every year more restrictions on parking and tailgating
every year tix and donations get pricier
from 3 months ago
Trust me...as a season ticket holder, I know.
3 months ago
Funny article. If we declare GA the Champion, it's kinda like being in the Big- ten or Pac- ten.
Only problem, in the SEC there are other teams who can actually win the Conference.
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