The Five Philadelphia Eagles Who I Want To See Get Cut

Philly hearts Riley
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It's kind of disgusting how much Eagles fans love Riley Cooper.

Maybe it's cool to see a white guy at receiver running around the field with golden hair cascading from his helmet. Or maybe we're on to the next big thing because we're the most football-savvy fans in the world.

Either way, it's getting a little uncomfortable for me.

Cooper is going to make the team and maybe have 20 catches for a couple hundred yards and he might even find the endzone once or twice. Those aren't the kind of numbers to get me excited about a player.

Why should I get worked up about a player because he hustles, when I can focus my venom on players that frustrate the bullcrap out of me?

Out of the five players on this list, two are locks to make the team, but hopefully the other three stiffs get the pink slip on September 4.

Then again, a season filled with one-liners directed at these clowns could make a long season a little more tolerable.

No.5: Hank Baskett

And you're on the hands teams, because?
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Hank Baskett has 76 catches, 1,080 receiving yards, and 6 touchdowns...for his five-year career. The only thing this guy had going for him on the field was that he could play well on special teams.

Or so we were told.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Exhibit "A" labeled, "Baskett Blows Super Bowl."

If he can't do anything when he lines up as a receiver and his one strength hurt his team in the Super Bowl then what exactly does he bring to the table?

I'm not going to resort to the cliche joke about his wife and I'm not going to mention her name because that's as old as the guy she used to be with. I really want to know what he adds.

I was done with Hank in 2007. I pray the Eagles are done with him in 2010.

Chance of being cut: 90 percent.

A return to the roster will inspire me to get in shape and tryout for the Eagles next year.

No.4 Macho Harris

Has Jay Cutler-like speed.
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Macho Harris has a name that rivals Tank Williams, Deacon Jones, and Webster Slaughter.

His game on the other hand rivals Sean Considine.

Everyone thought this guy was going to be a physical presence in the secondary and knock a couple receivers senseless as a safety. Too bad you can't hit what you can't catch or cover.

Harris was a liability in the secondary everytime he stepped onto the field, and he was almost as bad a return man.

His yards per return on kickoffs were 20.7 and his longest return of the season was 32 yards. Unless the opponent's kicker was floating kicks to the Eagles' 20 then I'm almost certain he never gave the Eagles great field position.

Chance of being cut: 60 percent

No.3: Stacy Andrews

Nice tatto. Super sweet facial hair. Terrible game.
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I don't want to see anyone with the last name Andrews ever play for the Philadelphia Eagles again.

First the fans had to endure the pain of watching Shawn Andrews get his "Michael Phelps On," and now they have to watch Stacy Andrews get pushed around the line of scrimmage like a giant sack of live-stock compost.

There's not one good thing I can say about Stacy.

I hate his first and last name, the way he looks, his incredibly idiotic tattoo, the way he plays, and the fact that he is on this team.

Chance of being cut: 0 percent. And that's only because of the fact that the Eagles have to pay Stacy $5 million this season regardless if he is on the team or not.

No.2: David Akers

Who does the "Double-Point to the Sky Routine?"
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Why is it that David  Akers feels the need to celebrate a 26-yard field goal with a bow to the endzone and a point to the sky?

If fans get ticked off at a player who celebrartes a touchdown when his team is down by 20, then shouldn't we hate it when this clown does his little Jiu-Jitsu routine on the field every single time?

And to make it even worse the Eagles play the Green Acres theme song and shoot off fireworks whenever he kicks a field goal.

Akers even drives me nuts when I am listening to the game on the radio. I can hear Eagles radio announcer Merrill Reese right now: "The snap is down, the kick is up and it is good. David Akers with a 32-yard field goal to make the score Packers 40, Eagles 16. And with that kick the Kicks for Kids Charity donates..." blah blah blah.

Do you get the point that I hate this guy and everything associated with him?

Chance of being cut: 0 percent.

Thankfully, he's not a real football player.

No.1: Donovan McNabb

Really? This guy is gonna a lead a team down the field in a clutch situation more often than not?
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I'm kidding.

Kind of.

Quintin Demps

Not so much.

Quintin Demps landed on my list when he completely butchered his chance to make a name for himself in the NFC Championship game against the Arizona Cardinals.

Oh, I'm sorry the stage was too big and the spotlight was too big for a rookie. As it turns out it doesn't matter who Demps plays against because he finds a way to play poorly.

With the Eagles in desperate need for a safety Demps was given every opportunity to gain more playing time and possibly start. In the end he showed he was overmatached and incapable of even being inconsistent. At least when you're inconsistent it means you have moments of being good.

Chances of being cut: 50 percent.

But since I don't want to sit on the fence with this one I am going to say he gets cut.