Liver's Week 13 NFL Picks: Jaguars to Cover Against Colts

Medical City Outpatient Room – 7:35 A.M. – Dallas, Texas:

Terrell Owens is getting the bill for this broken hand.

T.O. looked like the Baby Drop of old last night—dropping first downs and fumbling TDs in the end zone.
 
And can we please kill the whole “popcorn” bit?
 
Question to the NFL Network: Why do you allow Bryant Gumbel to continue calling games?

He's ruining your product.

To say Gumbel is the worst commentator I’ve ever had the displeasure of hearing is a compliment. He can’t even get the names of the teams right.

No wonder Time Warner won’t pick you guys up.
 
Think Brett Farve wants to EVER come back to Dallas?
 
Of course it goes without saying that the following picks AGAINST THE SPREAD are for RECREATIONAL USE ONLY. Only Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Kiefer Sutherland, Mike Leach, Bill Belichick, Bill Simmons, Roger Goodell, and Travis Henry's nine kids and nine mommas would be drunk enough to question the Esteemed Liver's picks.

 

Last Week Against the Spread: 10-6

2007 Record Against the Spread: 78-88-10

 

Sunday, December 2
 
Houston (+3 1⁄2) at Tennessee

It would seem that the Amazing Vince has hit a rough spot. Guess he can’t do it all alone.

The Titans are coming back to Earth after a good start. That’s okay—I still have my 2005 National Championship memories (and the DVD) to keep me warm over the holidays.

Houston has taken a step forward, but needs a healthy season from their offensive starters before they can be serious playoff contenders.

Pick:  Tennessee
 

Jacksonville (+7) at Indianapolis

At least there’s one good game this weekend.

The Colts come off a much-needed 10-day rest, and should be getting back most of their wounded.

The Jags, meanwhile, have weathered their own storm of injuries, and are one game behind Indy in the AFC South.

Jacksonville has traditionally come up short in games like this under Jack Del Rio, so the pressure is on to prove they belong amongst the AFC Elite.

Pick: Jacksonville
 

San Diego at Kansas City (+5)

San Diego had a big win last week, but the Bolts are 1-4 on the road this year.

While Kansas City isn’t a team to be feared, Arrowhead in December is still a tough place for ANY team to win.

Pick: Kansas City
 

Atlanta at St. Louis (OFF)

I think my Bloody Mary needs refreshing.

Pick: St. Louis
 

N.Y. Jets at Miami (PK)

I SAID, I think my Bloody Mary needs refreshing.

I’d rather go hunting with Bob Knight and Dick Cheney than watch this game. First person to three wins this dog.

Pick: Miami
 

Detroit (+3 1⁄2) at Minnesota

The Lions' playoff hopes are hanging by a thread.

Bottom line is they have to win out if they hope to have a chance at the Wild Card, as Green Bay has the NFC North locked up.

The Vikings come off a trouncing of the Giants in which the defense returned three Eli Manning INTs for scores. Jon Kitna HAS to be better than Eli...doesn’t he?

God this league is mediocre.

Then again I could be living in East Lubbock and getting sprayed by pellets from a Bob Knight shotgun.

Pick: Detroit
 

Seattle (+3) at Philadelphia

So who starts now for Filthy—Feeley or McNabb?

Gotta give Andy Reid and Co. credit—not only did they show up to play against the Pats...they almost won the game.

If you’re an Eagles fan do you wonder how good this team would be if they'd kept Jeff Garcia?

Seattle needed a Gus “Headbanger’s Ball” Frerotte fumble to escape with a win last weekend against the Rams. They still lead the NFC West—but they'll be Wild Card fodder for sure.

Pick: Philly
 

Buffalo (+5 1⁄2) at Washington

The Redskins will be emotional after the Sean Taylor tragedy. While it’s impossible to think of football at a time like this, sometimes these things can unite a team and push them forward.

The Skins still have a pulse in the NFC Wild Card hunt, and must put together a winning streak if they hope to keep their season going into January.

Pick: Buffalo
 

San Francisco (+3) at Carolina

God, please let the 49ers get hot and finish out the season strong.

Wait a minute, I’m pinning these hopes on Trent Dilfer?

Wait another moment, is that 50-year-old Vinny Testaverde on the other sideline?

Panthers fans are starting to understand the full scope of the Vinny Rule: Flush your season down the toilet and hope that next year he’s back on his couch where he belongs.

Pick: San Francisco
 

Cleveland at Arizona (PK)

Thanks God—the one year the Browns are good has to be the year the Cowboys own their No. 1 pick.

How often do you see a game decided by a safety? If you’re Kurt Warner...one time too many.

Pick: Arizona
 

Denver at Oakland (+3 1⁄2)

Denver learned the Devin Hester Rule the hard way last weekend, while Oakland got a rare win.

Neither team is going anywhere this season, but Mike Shanahan still gets his blood up for these games.

Pick: Oakland
 

N.Y. Giants at Chicago (+1 1⁄2)

How is this Giants team favored on the road after that debacle against the Vikings last week?

Is my “Duh face” theory vis-a-vis Eli Manning starting to gain some credence now?

Chicago can still pretend they have Wild Card hopes after an overtime win against Denver. Can teams just agree now that you DON’T kick to Devin Hester?

Pick: N.Y. Giants
 

Tampa Bay (+3) at New Orleans

If anyone doubted the importance of Jeff Garcia to the Bucs offense, see his absence against the Redskins.

New Orleans continues to underwhelm—and NO, I don’t count that blowout against the Panthers last week as a GOOD WIN.

That said, this could be a swing game in the NFC South, as Tampa has a two-game lead over the Saints. With Garcia questionable...

Pick: New Orleans
 

Cincinnati (+7) at Pittsburgh

The Steelers franchise should be embarrassed after that Slop Bowl on Monday night...although we did get one of the all-time “you gotta be kidding me” football moments when that punt landed like a bowling ball and stuck in the field.

Hey Art Rooney—think you might want to switch to artificial turf?

Excuse me but didn’t Chad Johnson say he wasn’t going to do any TD celebrations until his team was winning? I guess 4-7 means winning to him.

Wonder how he’ll celebrate 4-8 after tonight.

Pick: Cincinnati
 

Monday, December 3
 
New England at Baltimore (+20 1⁄2)

Watching the Longest Yard last week (and I mean the 1974 original), it finally hit me...

Bill Belichick IS Warden Rudolph Hazen.

Can’t you see him telling his defensive players, “I want you to inflict as much physical punishment as humanly possible”...after the team's up by three scores?

The Eagles may have made the Pats work for that win Sunday night, but this Baltimore team isn’t nearly as good as Philly. Still, the Ravens defense might be strong enough to keep this one respectable.

Let’s see if taking the underdog against the Pats works this time.

Pick: Baltimore

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