WHY ARE SP#RS SO PATHETIC? {A Gooners Musings On 'That Lot' Down The Road}

CYRUS 99 STARKContributor IAugust 6, 2010

HARRISON, NJ - JULY 22: Thierry Henry #14 of the New York Red Bulls watches his shot go into the net for a first half goal against goalkeeper Carlo Cudicini #23 of Tottenham Hotspur during their game at Red Bull Arena on July 22, 2010 in Harrison, New Jersey. (Photo by Andy Marlin/Getty Images for the New York Red Bulls)
Andy Marlin/Getty Images

Hello everybody, well here we are, exactly one short week away from the beginning of the new season, it's the feel good part of the year for all football supporters, it's a time when the good, the bad & even the ugly can dare to dream & allow themselves to drift away from reality for awhile.

This off-season has been particularly interesting, what with Blackpool ("Old Blighty's answer to LAS VEGAS") joining the EPL, a tiny club with a tiny ground, punching well above their weight, good luck to them, of course the have been reasons to rejoice & celebrate all over the country, Mick 'the conker' McCarthy has finally learned to write his own name, my "sources" inform me that he intends to write his own team sheets in a couple years time, meanwhile, 'INBREDS R'US' fc (aka st#ke) are celebrating their discovery of fire by sacrificing an infant in the town square and attempting to sign Loic Remy, a player who can actually play football with his feet, personally, I think they are attempting to accomplish too much too soon with that one, as I told a friend lately, one must learn to walk before he can run, when you add the fact that ARSENAL fc have signed two (YES TWO) players, all in all it's been a very exciting & eventful month & a half.

However, some people just have to take it too far, some people just can't resist the urge to make complete & utter ASSES of themselves, while we in the premier league have more 'donkeys' who would fit that description than every other European league combined, there is one candidate that always seems to rise head & shoulders above all the other contender for the title of 'the most pointless & pathetic club on earth' and yes you guessed correctly, it's tottenham fc, you have to hand it to them, their consistency is amazing, they never fail to sink to new lows, or for that matter, to find new ways to make a laughing stock of themselves, today I was treated to this jewel of an article;


"Defoe: We'll outgun Arsenal"

{Jermain Defoe has stoked the fires ahead of the new season by claiming Tottenham will go further than bitter rivals Arsenal in the Champions League.

Defoe in unconcerned by the burden of history, and told the Daily Mirror: "If we can get past the play-off qualifier, I honestly think we will go further than Arsenal in the Champions League".

"No disrespect to Arsenal, because they have a good record in the Champions League and for them it's become part of the furniture, part of their regular season - it's the norm".}


As I said, our hapless neighbours will always strive to sink to new lows & find new ways to cover themselves in ridicule, this is a club who have turned INEPTITUDE & ABJECT FAILURE into an art form, why, their very history reads like a study in the RIDICULOUS, from their DISGRACEFUL relegation in the eighties, their hiring & firing of every inept coach under the sun, their aquisition of an Arsenal legend (George Graham of all people) in a desperate attempt to win a cup nobody cares about, their hilarious lasagna conspiracy & subsequent debacle on the final day of the 2006 season, their unbelievably IDIOTIC plans & TASTELESS designs (I don't care what they want to call it,it looks like a FRIGGIN PRINTER) for an ugly new stadium, which keep getting laughed out of town by the authorities whenever they are brought up, I could go on & on but to be honest, I just don't have the time, as much fun as it would be, I should point out though, that the most pathetic thing about this sick joke of a football club is their obsession with us, or more to the point, our beloved club ARSENAL FC, my goodness, they just can't get enough of us, everything they do or accomplish has to be measured up or compared to our club, that, fellow GOONERS is what makes them the most pathetic club in sports history, never mind football.

Oh wait a minute, I have completely forgotten to mention totteringham's RABID fans, and what a fine bunch they are, while there are so many jokes & quips that come to mind whenever that rabble are mentioned, in my opinion one anecdote defines that lot of IMBECILES the best; Febuary 2008, sp#rs were on the verge of beating chavski fc in the final of the carling cup & in doing so, win their first trophy since 1999, yet the best they can come up with is singing a song about an Arsenal player having his leg broken in half by some inbred thug, that, more than anything defines what that toilet of a club & their reprehensible supporters are all about.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a complete ingrate, there is a part of me that will always be grateful to them as they do serve their purpose, ever since I have been an Arsenal supporter there is one thing that has never failed to bring a smile to my face, no matter how bad we had played during a rare defeat, no matter how many dozens of our players were out with injury, no matter how FU@KED up things could get, there always has been one phrase that would lift my spirits as a GUNNER; 'It could be so much worse, I could have been a spud' trust me, that will always make a GOONER feel a whole lot better.


P.S; I am sure you have noticed that the 'TROLLS' have been coming back in force in the past week or so, with thinly veiled insults in the guise of poorly written articles, while you are all free to deal with them as you see fit, I would suggest simply giving those unpleasent individuals (who shall of course remain nameless) & their incoherent drivel a wide berth as they only post these rants on our community page cause they are jealous & because we have by far the biggest as well as most active following of any football club on B/R, I say let's stop giving their piss poor material anymore attention & recognition by keeping it strictly ARSENAL.