"Cody", Episode 6, "One Is The Loneliest Number"

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With Cody and Kelly's relationship reaching new heights, so did Cody's ego. Everyday it got bigger and BIGGER. It was soon approaching to be unbearable....even for Willis. His departure almost seemed imminient.

Kelly: Cody! Will you please get out of the bathroom? I need to take a shower!

Cody: *looks in mirror* Damn! You are awesome! You are good-looking, charismatic, talented...*rubs chin*

Kelly: Cody! *sigh* I'll...um...I'll let you in with me?

Cody: *opens door suddenly*

After suds and scandal...Cody gets a text message from someone he was surprised to hear from...it said:

"From Randy: Yo Codeman. Just thought I'd give you a heads-up on something that's going on @WWE.com. It's sumthin' called 'Superstar Superlatives'. Divas and the fans vote on who's most handsome, most conceited, etc. You might wanna start playing the 'game' in order to beat me for those awards. ;)"

Cody: *thinks* Hmm...interesting...

Cody heads over to RAW to visit (or campaign for Superstar Superlatives) and stumbles across a troublesome situation...

Cody: *walks down hall*

Both Bellas: Hi Cody.

Cody: Hey there girls. How's it going?

Brie Bella: A lot better now that your here.

Nikki Bella: Ya.

Cody: Of course. *puts arms around both Bellas*

Both Bellas: You're sooo strong.

Cody: I know. *chuckles*

Nikki: Brie, should we inform him about our 'problem'?

Brie: I don't think he can handle it, Nikki.

Cody: What is it? You know, I am a 'problem solver'.

Brie: *giggles* Well, me and Nikki were arguing on who is a better kisser.

Nikki: But no one wants to judge!

Cody: I'm sure I could....arrange something. *strokes both shoulders*

Both Bellas: *giggles*

Willis: CODY! What about Kelly? What if she finds out? She'll be heartbroken!

Cody: *thinks* Well, we won't tell Kelly, now will we?

Willis: I can't believe this! You have the most beautiful diva on the roster as your girlfriend and you're still not happy?! What happened to the modest, shy guy I used to know?

Cody: *thinks* I threw him into the flames of HELL!

Willis: Cody....

Cody: *thinks* YOU KNOW WHAT WILLIS? Your services are no longer needed.

Willis: Cody! C'mon let's not be irrational!

Cody: I SAID GOODBYE!

Willis: Codddddyyyyy...

And POOF! Willis was gone, banished from Cody's conscience. Never to be heard from again...

Cody: *sigh* Now where were we?

Brie: I think that closet over there is empty.

Cody: Oooh a closet? Kinky.

Nikki: *giggles*

Cody opens the empty janitor's closet only to find.....MICHAEL COLE MAKING OUT WITH THE MIZ!

Cole & Miz: *gasp*!

Cody: Wow...

Both Bellas: OMG.

Cole: This is not VINTAGE!

Miz: Um...um...COLE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OFF OF ME!

Cole: I thought you loved me! *runs out*

Miz: I do! I mean....wait! Come back!

Cody: Well, that was interesting...

Brie: I think Orton's dressing room is open.

Nikki: And we know for a fact that he's not in there.

Cody: How do you...nevermind.

So they go to Randy's dressing room only to find Ted and Maryse in there!

Ted: 5 thousand, 5 thousand and 1, 5 thousand and 2...

Maryse: Oui Oui!

Cody: Um, are we interrupting anything?

Ted: Codeman! *drops money and walks over*

Cody: Hey Ted.

Ted: Wow, you look different.

Both Bellas: *on Cody's arms* Mmm-hmmm...

Ted: Were you guys gonna...?

Cody: *shakes head* Oh yeah.

Ted: Oh, i'm sorry man. Let's go Maryse.

Maryse: *sigh*

So the "million-dollar" couple leaves the room, leaving Cody and the Bellas all alone...

Willis, though, is in Voice Command, a place where voices go when they are unwanted...

Willis: Why did he leave me? I thought we were friends...

Well, even though i'm not with Cody, I can still see what Cody is doing...

Willis then looks over the clouds and sees Cody in a three-way kiss with the Bellas!

Willis: Oh-No,  I gotta warn Kelly!

Willis looks at the board of people who are open to be getting voices, and Kelly is there!

Willis: Ok, I gotta get there! And fast!

While Willis gets into Kelly's system, the debauchery in Randy's dressing room is still going on...

Cody: Mmm...you taste like strawberry...and you taste like kiwi...

Just as things were going to kick into high gear, Randy and Santino walk in!

Randy: Cody, what the f**k are you doing in my dressing room?

Santino: With ze two Bellas!

Cody: What does it look like Randy? I'm reeping the benefits of still being SINGLE!

Randy: *drops bags* What did you just say to me?

Cody: *gets in face* You heard me. DID I STUTTER?!

Randy: DO YOU WANT ME TO PUNT THE S**T OUT OF YOU?

Cody: *glares intensly* I'd like to see you try.

Randy: *Santino holds back* You're lucky you're on SmackDown or I would beat the f**kin s**t out of your puny ass!

Santino: Randy, now, calm adown! He is not aworth it!

Cody: *pops collar* Later....Mandy.

Randy: *grunts and growls*

Brie Bella: Oh Cody, that was....*moans and grabs hair*...that was so amazinggg...standing up to Randy really turns me on.

Nikki Bella: *whispers in ear* I really wanna go to Smackdown now...*kisses ear*

Then...

Kelly: CODY! What are you doing?

Cody: *pops Trident in mouth* Um...fighting cavities?

Kelly: I can't believe this! I thought you were different! I thought I could trust you...*walks out*

Cody: *runs after and grabs arm* Kelly, I'm just getting votes for the Superlative...

Kelly: By what? Being a man-whore? What happened to my Greek food guide? My thoughtful bike fixer? My wine-tasting partner? My....My 1st commander alpha?

Cody: Kelly....don't do this...

Kelly: *tears start rolling* I'm....*snifle*....I'm sorry Cody. *runs off*

Cody: *reaches out* Kelly...

The next day at the taping of SmackDown...Cody was feeling somber and sad...

Cody: What have I done? *sigh*

*thinks* Willis?

Oh that's right, I pushed him away too...

So he walks out into the hallway and bumps into a new intern, and spills warm coffee all over him!

Cody: Oh dude, i'm so sorry. I'll totally buy you a new shirt of less or equal value...

Hellbilly: Oh it's ok. I got it for sale at Kmart.

Cody: I'm Cody.

Hellbilly: I'm Hellbilly, but you can just call me Bill.

Cody: Would you be interested in being my personal assistant?

Hellbilly: Um, I guess, but I got things to....

Cody: GREAT! *pulls Bill into dressing room*

Here's the list of stuff I need for you to do:

  • Send 36 roses to Kelly. (12 red, 12 white, 12 pink)
  • Make a wax and tanning appointment.
  • Buy lots of moisturizers.
  • Vote for me at WWE.com for superlative.
  • Tell Bellas to stop calling,
  • Call my mom i'm fine and that i've been really busy.
  • Send Ted a "I've got a better gimmick than you" Hallmark Card with Will Ferrell on the cover.
  • Call GQ Magazine until I get a photo shoot.
  • Try and get Tiffani Thiessen's number.
  • Send talking forgiveness bear to Kelly.
  • Book a meeting with the creative staff.
  • Continue to tell Kaizar Cantu that I have the superior G.I Joe Collection. (i.e Mint Condition 1945 Alpha Series)
  • Tell me that i'm a sexy beast on a regular basis.
  • Vote for me again at WWE.com on a different computer.
  • Get Aqua's newest album and send it to Ted.
  • Mock Santino's accent.
  • Try and get Randy as pissed off as possible.

Cody: I think that's it for now.

Hellbilly: Um, let me think about this....how about NO?

Cody: Ok, well, can you at least stick around? I'm kinda lacking in the friend department....

Hellbilly: I can see why...

Cody: Ahem.

Hellbilly: Seriously dude, you're no fun to hang out with...

Cody: Hey! I'm more fun than Ted!

Hellbilly: A rock is more fun than Ted...

Cody: You're not helping....

Hellbilly: Dude, I gotta job to do, later.

Cody: But! But! Wait!

What will happen with Cody? What will become of his new gimmick? Will Cody ever get Tiffani Thiessen's number? Tune in next week to find out on "Cody"!

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