Mallet or Locker? Jones or Green? Quinn or Heyward?
The 2011 NFL Draft is teeming with tough decisions. Everyone from experts like Mel Kiper and Todd Mcshay to hacks like me will make their predictions on who's going where and who's the next NFL star. And we’ll all be wrong—because we as humans suck at predicting the outcome of sporting events.
Know who doesn’t? Marine life. That’s who.
Case in point: Mel Kiper, a draft expert, said JaMarcus Russell would be an elite quarterback. Conversely, Paul, an octopus, correctly predicted the result of eight straight World Cup matches this past summer.
So while putting together my 2011 NFL Mock Draft, I skipped over the prognostications of the so-called ‘draft gurus’ and decided to play the percentages by consulting with our seafood friends. On a recent trip home to Maine, I decided to see who my family's lobster supper would pick (just before I picked it of its claw and tail meet).
Because if a German octopus can foretell the results of a bunch of random soccer matches, a Maine lobster would surely be able to give me the Top 10 NFL Draft picks.
With photos of top NFL prospects to show the lobsters in the holding tank (and my parents sneaking suspicion I was on drugs), I hurried over to the store in search of succulent soft shell lobster and some insider info on the 2011 NFL Draft—and I wasn’t disappointed—on either front. From his claws to your monitor—the official 2011 NFL Mock Draft from Hank, one of the most delicious and telekinetic lobsters ever to be hauled in from the coast of Maine.