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Brian Burke has flown off to Europe to pursue a player. Hopefully it is Ilya Kovalchuk. However, just in case he refuses, I gave a list of reasons why he shouldn't.
- Colton Orr will beat you into a bloody pulp if you sign elsewhere, then he'll ask you nicely how many fingers he's holding up.
- If you sign with Calgary, know that the Leafs have the option of calling you up.
- The league has rejected the 17 year contract which means the Devils will not have a first round pick next year as punishment. Maybe you should ignore this one.
- The Sedin twins re-signed with Vancouver and look what happened to them. They suck now!
- The exact opposite of Atlanta is Toronto, we're a big market, we have lots of money, we always spend to the cap and we win. Okay, three out of four ain't bad.
- We have Elisha Cuthbert, New Jersey has Lou Lamoriello.
- We don't require our players to play defense.
- We can give you April, May, and June off with pay as per your previous contract.
- We don't care about commitment. Brian Burke just cancelled a luncheon after all the tickets were sold out.
- We need a goal scorer without losing Kaberle! Please! For the LOVE OF GOD! SIGN THE CONTRACT!