There's Manny being Manny.
And then there's JoePa being JoePa.
Paterno's presser this afternoon in Chicago was as classic and iconic as the coach himself, with one-liners that proved beyond a shadow of a doubt the conference's figurehead hasn't lost his sense of humor.
The Penn State coach talked about his team's upcoming visit to defending BCS champion Alabama, his plans (or lack thereof) for when he might retire or who might replace him, and addressed the criticism that his "staying home" during recruiting might harm the Nittany Lions' program.
Paterno also said he's "ready to go" for the 2010 season, quoting good old Samuel Clemens in the process: "Well, you know, again, what did Mark Twain say? The rumor of my death has been over-exaggerated or something."
HIGHLIGHT QUOTE: (a question-and-answer exchange)
Q. You've had intestinal issues this last spring that you were dealing with?
PATERNO: I won't get into that.
Q. I understand, too, that you're not on the road as much...
PATERNO: It was a little bit below the intestines.
PATERNO: I didn't want to get into it, but...
(Ladies and gentlemen, I can't possibly improve that conversation by analyzing it, so I won't try. Let's just say that I don't want to hear about anything below Paterno's intestines.)