Lance Armstrong is an idiot...Kate Hudson can play with me!
How can a guy, who found time to ride a bicycle through France every year, not find time for Kate Hudson? He has got to be the worst scheduler ever or the testicular cancer made him like bike seats more than hot blondes.
I am married. I have several children of varied sizes and shapes. I have four blogs to write. I have two websites I edit. I have two Boxers, dogs not fighters. I have a foot and a half tall cockatoo who jabbers endlessly and wants attention constantly. I have a full sized chimp and a half sized midget. To say the least - my life is full.
If Kate Hudson wants to pal around I am available. If I was single, like Lance, I would be very available but wives tend to frown on getting too friendly with Hollywood starlets. Very unreasonable people those wives.
How can Lance Armstrong not find time for Goldie Hawns kid? Talk about a mother- in - law you could get into? Wow, the fantasy alone would be worth freeing up some schedule.
I am tempted to call bicycle boy myself and teach him about the use of Daytimers The only reason I don't is because - me like most men when we hear a sex kitten is newly single - have an illusion she may show up for brunch or a late night snack. Preferably in reverse order and on continuous days with a little spooning in between.
Yes I know I am married and the midget and chimp tell her everything. So does the cockatoo by the way. The boxers don't - because I bribe them with snacks. Married or not, men still have fantasies that one day while banging out a senseless article like this - a small, cute long haired blonde with the body of a cheerleader will take us away from all this.
I am sure it would have happened by now if I could of just found the time.
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