The grass is always greener on the other side, right?
Sure it is—and Les Miles is ALWAYS on time.
Perhaps that question should be directed to the fans, supporters, and teams of college football—in particular those who enjoyed sunny days in the recent past—followed by a whole heck of a lot of gloomy days heading into the present.
We’re talkin’ raining cats and dogs—and not ‘Dawgs.
So upon diving into this topic for a second, if there were coaches that fans wish they had back and running their respective college football programs, who would they be?
Here are some coaches that come to mind—in the latest Sexy Seven (plus a BONUS one this week):
Bobby Petrino was 41-9 as head coach at “The Ville,” including four bowl game appearances and an 11-3 record as a member of the Big East conference.
In a matter of months, the Cardinals went from a breeding ground for NFL quarterbacks to a festival of football follies.
Therefore, it would come as no surprise to hear that no one wants a coach back more than Louisville wants Petrino—though there may be some intrigue and excitement with brand spankin’ new hire (and former Gators assistant) Charlie Strong.
This season, Michigan football celebrates its official return to being the owner of the largest capacity crowd in the college game.
Translation: 2010 seems destined to be “The Big House featuring Little Football.”
In a few seasons, the Wolverines have transformed from a model of consistency (under Lloyd Carr) to a model of conspiracy under Rich Rodriguez—ranging from players transferring, to rules being broken, to self-imposed sanctions and so on.
Lloyd Carr may not have been perfect in the eyes of the maize and blue, but his career record of 122-40 is looking like Brooklyn Decker in a bikini compared to Rich Rod’s Rosie O’Donnell-like career at Michigan.
Many will be quick to criticize, saying that Phil Fulmer’s recruiting efforts were fading and the team was sinking further and further towards football mediocrity.
Two words to counter that argument: Lane Kiffin.
Say what you want about Fulmer, he still made 15 bowl games in 17 seasons and he won a “Natty” in 1998 for UT—when Kiffin couldn’t even manage to cheer up a “Natty” Ice with any of the Vols faithful.
Instead, Lane simply left the entire state of Tennessee with “bitter beer face.”
The Warriors went from aerial attack to verbal attack—as June Jones (75-41 as coach) developed lethal offenses featuring quarterbacks like Timmy Chang and Colt Brennan; meanwhile Greg McMackin only has launched a handful of derogatory comments and slurs.
What bigger collapse could anyone deliver in college sports—losing a former NFL coach and replacing him with a guy that many likely would still rather see roasted with an apple in his mouth.
LSU certainly hasn’t been a doormat under Les Miles, but many could easily question his far-from-elite regime. After all, the national title was won with Saban’s recruits.
What's worse is Miles hasn’t been able to tell time to save his life. Not only have there been the late game blunders with clock management, Miles was even late to his press conference during the 2010 SEC Media Days.
Someone needs to giftwrap a replica of Flava Flav’s clock, so that Les can wear it during the upcoming football season.
Maybe then he’ll get a better idea of the time—and before his own time is up.
Under Donahue’s watch, the Bruins won 151 games, including five conference titles and seven straight bowl victories from 1982-1987.
After his departure, UCLA’s new coach was Bob Toledo—and while there were back-to-back seasons of brilliance in 1997 and 1998, the rest of his tenure was, well, Toledo-esque.
Karl Dorrell’s stretch was nothing to write home to Mom about and current headman Rick Neuheisel’s run is still in its infant stages.
Holy Toledo—where for art thou, Terry?
The majority of critics would be quick to point out that Slocum’s bowl record (3-8) was reminiscent of something to be flushed down a different type of bowl. But looking back on his ability to maintain a clean program, while also showing compassion in comforting his players through tragic events such as the bonfire disaster, Slocum’s record would be welcomed back with open arms.
11 bowl games and a record of 123-47-2 over 14 seasons—that’s leaps and bounds over the Aggies’ performance over the last decade.
The 12th man would simply love to have more reasons to party on New Year’s Day again.
Syracuse is like the Apple of college football—cruising along, steady as a rock and then…BOOM…iPhone4.
There was a bevy of success under Pasqualoni (who amassed 107 victories) and Dick MacPherson before him.
The actual real beginning of the orange crush was 2005, when the ‘Cuse mustered just one victory in Greg Robinson’s first season as head coach.
Over four seasons, Robinson couldn’t even crack a dozen wins. Instead he was left with egg on his face. And while the Orange have been more competitive under Doug Marrone, a bowl game still feels like miles away–and saying that is very realistic.