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"The Indecision": Brett Favre's Decision To Not Decide (Satire)

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Almost 6 months after losing in the NFC conference finals, Brett Favre still has no idea whether he will come back or not. 

After seeing how NBA superstar LeBron James had his own one hour TV special, "The Decision", Favre feels that he deserves one too. 

He has announced a 2 hour TV special with CBS called "The Indecision." He says in the special he will not announce what his plans are for the next upcoming NFL season and what things he has done to make his decision as difficult as possible.

Sources say that within the first hour he will announce how he has not decided whether he wants to come back or not, and how easy it was to come to that conclusion.  Just like with James, the special will be held near, but not at CBS’s headquarters, in Yonkers, New York. 

Favre believes unlike James, his special will be a huge success that will make fans love him more. He believes it will make Packers and Jets fans dig up his jersey from the attic and once again wear it proudly instead of their now Pro-Bowl QB Aaron Rodgers and Rookie stud Mark Sanchez.

Favre tells us that we will be in for an exciting event and that the media has no idea what to expect. And, well, neither does he.  He expects this to be the biggest event of his life, followed by his birth, and the first time he watched Michael Jackson’s Thriller music video.

At midnight, the day he has planned the TV special, he is rumored to play a pickup game of kickball at a park in his hometown in Mississippi. Sources also say at the same exact time he will be eating dinner with Ozzie Guillen in Chicago, and challenging Shaq to a hot dog eating contest on his TV show in Japan with Takeru Kobayashi as his coach.

Favre did tell us though that if Minnesota decides to chase him out of town, he will gladly take his talents down to South Beach, Florida and play for the Miami...

Heat. 

Favre mentioned that the All-Star team filled with Wade, Bosh, James, and a supporting cast filled with mostly washed up veterans would fit him perfectly.  Also unlike James, he expects upon joining the team, to take over the leadership role from Wade and be the face of the team. 

When asked why would he make the decision to leave football at the age of 40 and decide to try and begin a career in basketball, he responded, “Well the short and complicated answer is I really don’t know.  But I feel that I need to do what is best for me and my family in order for me to have a clear conscious about it all”.

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