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Things I Have Done Instead Of Watching The 2010 Seattle Mariners

ANAHEIM, CA - JULY 16: Ichiro Suzuki #51 of the Seattle Mariners reacts after striking out in the eighth inning against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim on July 16, 2010 at Angel Stadium in Anaheim, California. (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)
Stephen Dunn/Getty Images
Jeremy HolienContributor IIIJuly 21, 2010

2010 has been brutal for the Seattle Mariners. I could give you endless stats to prove this, but I don’t think I really need to. But the strongest argument I have is simply this: 19 games back of first place. 11 games back of third place. Forget winning the division. It would be a miracle if the Mariners finished in third place.


And obviously, there’s not much of a desire to watch the Mariners play. I reached my breaking point last Saturday, when the Mariners lost to the Angels, 7-6. I didn’t watch any of the game. Didn’t check for updates on ESPN, didn’t check the score on my phone, didn’t turn on the tv, didn’t turn on the radio, nothing. But what did I do instead? Cleaned my garage. That’s right. I choose cleaning my garage over watching the Mariners play a baseball game against a divisional opponent. But it gets worse. What else have I done instead of watching the Mariners?


1. As mentioned above, I cleaned my garage.

2. Went to the doctor’s to get a colonoscopy.

3. Went to the dentist’s office to get shot up with needles.

4. Balanced my checking book.

5. Mowed the lawn.

6. Cleaned the entire house.

7. Watched a Steven Segal movie.

8. Went in to work on a Saturday.

9. Repainted my bedroom..

10. And volunteered to pick up garage on the side of the road.


I found those 10 things to be more enjoyable than watching the 2010 Seattle Mariners. Pardon the stupid question, but is there any way that we can trade for Albert Pujols, Prince Fielder, Joey Votto, Ryan Howard, Cliff Lee (Oh yeah, that’s right), and basically every single NY Yankee? I want this season to be over so bad.



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