Jennie Finch Retiring From Softball: A Photo Tribute

We have but one month before it's over.

Why, Jennie?

Your announcement Tuesday made us all break into a chorus of Crowded House.

"Hey now, hey now, don't dream it's over."

We never saw enough of you, and yet, you were the woman of our dreams.

You did your country proud, even if you did marry Casey Daigle.

You're a hero, a mom and a goddess. And it's time to celebrate you.

You Made Softball Cool

You were one of the early fascinations of the Internet, a beautiful girl in a sport dominated by ugly women.

You weren't afraid to say, "I'm blonde, I'm hot, and I need a form-fitting uniform to show off my figure."

You Knew Just How To Smile

At a time when women's sports was all about trying to be manly, you weren't afraid to put on a bikini.

You stood up for what is right and just in this world and we were all better for it.

Not Enough Of You

As the Web became a smokeshow paradise filled with one gorgeous woman after another, we stuck by you.

There was something about you.

You played a sport that we use as an excuse to drink with our buddies and avoid babysitting duty. You were one of us, and yet, you wore outfits like this to remind us that you clearly were one of them.

You Made ESPN Millions

You made college softball watchable. We began to see the sport in it.

Soon, women wanted to be Jennie Finch. Hot girls around the country started playing softball.

ESPN started televising the games because they knew we were all waiting for the next Jennie Finch.

We Stuck By You

You married a total tool in Casey Daigle (no disrespect, it's just no one will ever be good enough for you).

We watched you get the baby bump and we hung on to our memories through the lean years, when the best shots we got were you in gray warmups holding a little person.

Aw shucks, you even made being a mommy hot.

There Were Rough Times

Listen, we're not going to lie you.

Some of your photos weren't fantastic. I mean, the whole Crystal Gale "let's grow my hair to rear end" thing was a down period.

You Always Rebounded

But then BAM!

You were always right back on top, Jennie.

On the beach, salty blown, blond hair bikini girl holding a gold medal.

And yet, you never went too slutty like Amanda Beard.

We Almost Followed You To the Pros

You made us so proud in 2004 with the gold medal for softball.

Watching you tear up as the national anthem played, we wanted to cradle you in our bosom.

Well, we always wanted to cradle you in our bosom, but especially in that patriotic moment.

And when you tried to capitalize on that Olympic pride by joining the Chicago Bandits and making a run at a pro softball league; you almost had us.

But Who Are We Kidding?

We both knew the deal, Jennie.

When you showed up in the ESPYs looking like this, the love affair was hatched all over again.

There was no need for softball. Your celebrity had gone way beyond softball.

The Next Generation

When our daughters became old enough to play softball and said, "I want to be the next Jennie Finch," we encouraged them.

Until we saw spreads like this and realized that the world would be looking at our kids the way we drooled over you.

Never Enough

You always left us wanting more. Your career has been perfect in that sense.

Just when we'd seen the same photo for the 200th time, you'd show up on a red carpet in a hot new ditty and give us just enough of a reminder why we were clicking on your photos in the first place.

We're Angry

There was no reason for you to get married so young.

You had the world in front of you. There was so much for you to see and experience.

Like the weekend in Cancun when we heard you were going to be there living it up on a break, so we bought last-second plane and trip tickets because we were convinced that when you saw our undying devotion to all that you are, you'd marry us right there on the beach.

When we got there and learned you'd canceled your reservation and then saw in the papers a few days later that you were engaged, it was in that moment that we learned that the world is a cruel, cruel place.

But We Couldn't Hold A Grudge

There was no being mad at you.

You sacrificed so much. You fought the fight for hottie equality. You took these photos.

You showed off this skin. It may have been a cloudy sunset in back of you, but with you in the frame, it was always blue skies.

We Need To Be Careful

There won't be a pretense of athletics to our relationship anymore, but that's OK.

You've snapped out of the stay-at-home-mommy phase and discovered a slim physique that even we didn't know you had.

Just don't look so surprise on the red carpet when you're showing off those legs and wearing that dress.

You're hot, Jennie. We want to take photos of you.

There Has Been A Search

We've all been searching for years.

I mean heck, we've already moved on to the next generation of Erin Andrews and she's not even 30, Jennie.

Yet the next Jennie Finch was never there. The college softball world is littered with Barbies now. They all want to be you. And we want them to be you.

Why do you think Allison Stokke became an Internet sensation? She had that wholesome hotness that we crave, that you perfected.

It's why when we do a Google search and see the new "Jennie Finch" photo we get positively giddy...

And Then There's the Letdown

...only to discover that somebody labeled a Jennifer Aniston photo as "Jennie Finch" just to get some more clicks.

She could never be you, Jennie.

Although she is quite fetching, but we digress.

Just Keep Doing What You're Doing

We'd never root for heartache in your life, Jennie.

Sure, the fantasy would be more real if you'd ditch Casey. But we're good people.

Yes, we're horny pigs. But we have hearts, too.

Just Don't Go Away

Listen, you're a sales gold mine.

Sports Illustrated and ESPN won't lose your number in their iPhones.

They know there will always be some way to keep you in the front of our brains.

Just please take their calls.

Don't Forget Where You Came From

We imagine you'll focus your attention on your family and on other money-making ventures, like those pitching slings you hawk at 2 a.m. on ESPN 6.

We'll still buy them. Even if we have five boys, we'll donate them to the local softball program in your name.

We see you've started fantasy camps. We imagine guys won't be allowed.

Just stay classy, Jennie. Stay hot and don't avoid the cameras.

I mean, don't you think a nice farewell shoot for the 2011 SI Swimsuit Issue would be the perfect gift that keeps on giving?

Whatever You Do, Just Be You

Just stay gorgeous and don't get too glamorous or full of yourself, Jennie.

That air of attainability was always what made you No. 1 in our hearts.

If you become too much of a feminist or too full of yourself in retirement or let yourself go, the terrorists win.

Don't let them win.

Goodbye for now.

Fondly,

The Bleacher Report Jennie Finch Fan Club