Inception? 10 Sports Figures Who Need an Implanted Idea

"Inception" opened this weekend and the critics are in love with it.

I saw it and without ruining anything, I gotta say, that movie is... complex.

But basically the story is about a group of really smart people who put you to sleep and try to implant an idea in your cranium.

Obviously, there wouldn't be a movie if it was easy to do.

So it got me to thinking, who are the 10 folks in the sports world who I would love to plant an idea in their head?

Hmmm...

Brett Favre

We'll start with an easy one. But not what you might think...

Most would want to implant a "make a decision!" idea in him, but I would go with something much more helpful.

I would implant the idea of : THROWING THE BALL AWAY!

Here is a fact about Favre: his last three seasons, with three different teams, (Green Bay, NY Jets and Minnesota) all ended with interceptions.

Even weirder, two of the three teams went on to win the Super Bowl. So who knows what might have been if he had just tossed the ball away?

Being that Brett is a gunslinger and it's in his DNA, it would take an inception to make him change.

Chad Ochocinco

Another easy one.

I would plant the "FOCUS ON FOOTBALL" idea in 85's head.

This offseason he has danced with stars, hung out with TO, and dated 85 eligible bachelorettes on his own reality show.

But the last time we saw him doing his day job, he was being totally shut down by Darrelle Revis on national TV.

Two weeks in a row.

So you'd think that would make him focus on finally getting Cincinnati over the hump, especially with Anquan Boldin now being on the Ravens and the Steelers looking to make up for last year.

And I'd also tell him to stop giving away thousands of dollars worth of jewelry to random dance partners, if there was any more room in his head.

Mike Tyson

Though I would terrified even to be in Mike's dome, I would implant:

DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.

Iron Mike did an interview with "Details" Magazine recently where he said that he was a pig and a f**k*ng waste.

Nobody is harder on himself than Mike. Most of his misdeeds have been publicized for years, so I won't list them here.

But now that he is the funny guy from "The Hangover," lighten up Mike.

We know you're not this guy anymore.

Euorpean soccer WAGs

According to a source that would know much better than I would, these are some of the hottest EUROPEAN WAGs around:

Cheryl Cole, Abigail Clancy, Danielle Lloyd, Chantelle Houghton, and Giorgia Palma.

Also here are Claudine Keane,Sophie Houghton, Alex Gerrard, Coleen Rooney, and of course, Nereida Gallardo.

OK, here's my plan to boost US Soccer.

I would implant the "COME TO AMERICA" idea in their pretty little heads, so they could date our American soccer players.

Hence, more paparazzi coverage on both sides of the pond, more media coverage for American soccer, which would lead to more advertising dollars, etc.

And then we would get better, and be a bigger challenge to the world in the next World Cup.

Makes sense, right?

(special thanks to BOX OFFICE FOOTBALL.COM)

JaMarcus Russell

This might be the simplest one of all.

I would break into JaMarcus's head, fight past all the scary Al Davis pictures and implant:

LEAVE THE PURPLE DRANK, STYROFOAM, SIZZURP, MUDDY CUP, LEAN, PURP, DRIZZANK, PURPLE JELLY AND TEXAS TEA ALONE

In other words, only use cough syrup for colds and leave the Jolly Ranchers to the kids.

And work on your pocket presence if you want to get back in the league.

Antoine Walker

Walker needs some help. So since I can't help him financially, I would plant this in his head:

FIND OUT WHO ANFERNEE HARDAWAY'S PUBLICIST IS AND HIRE HIM.

Penny is significantly older than Walker and he got on PTI, Around the Horn, and SportsCenter by saying he wanted onto the new Heat.

Walker has bills to pay; he needs to find a way to generate some heat, pun intended, to get back in the league.

Also he should try to find out why his name is Anfernee and not Anthony.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.

This would seems painfully obvious but his pride gets in the way, so the idea would have to be deeply implanted to stick...

DRIVE THE NO. 3 CAR FOR A WHOLE SEASON.

No one wants to be the turd in the punch bowl and beat the No. 3. They just won't do it, so ride that baby all the way to a championship.

Everyone would get paid in full if Jr. wins, so do the right thing!

Tom Brady

This is tough love at its best.

Brady's inception would go like this:

CUT OFF THE JUSTIN BIEBER HAIR, STOP HANGING OUT WITH JELLY BEAN AND HIS BOY AND GET BACK IN THE SAME SENTENCE WITH DREW BREES AND PEYTON MANNING.

There, I said it.

(TB, didn't mean it. Just jokes.)

Erin Andrews

She needs an inception as much as anyone.

I said an inception.

And hers would go like this...

LEAVE ESPN.

Simple and yet profound.

You are a star, you did "Dancing with the Stars." Branch out.

Talk show? Go Daddy ads? Playboy?

Think big! (Bleacher Report Columnist!)

You don't have to interview college kids who ask you out when the camera goes off and stare at you lasciviously while you ask them inane questions.

It's your time, EA!

Erik Spoelstra

This is the most important inception of them all...

Erik, there will come a time this season, when LeBron is averaging a triple double, Bosh lets his braids grow back and plays like Samson, and Wade treats the rim like his wife's divorce lawyer.

Your "Miami Thrice" will be 41-2 and you are on the bench high-fiving Penny Hardaway and thinking "this is so much better than locker room duty or setting up videos like I had to do three years ago."

That's when you will get a visit from Mr. Slick Back and he will tell you that you should be the team's GM.

He'll tell you that you will be paid more, get more recognition and ultimately it will fulfill all of your dreams.

And this is when your inception will kick in...

DO NOT STEP DOWN AND LET RILEY COACH!

Make him fire you, Erik.

Make the old man cut you, don't let him off easy like Stan Van did.

My job is done here.