I love WAGs.
WAGs of course being the acronym for "Wives And Girlfriends" of athletes. It's fascinating to see the kind of amazing beauties that athletes can scoop up. Unlike actors or other famous people, athlete are not always good looking, so it's fairly amazing when we see them dating some of the most beautiful women on the planet.
That being said, my love of WAGs is not unconditional. Sometimes they can be a little too fame seeking, annoying, and just always in the spotlight. Sometimes we just have to say "enough is enough."
Yes, I do realize the Catch-22 in that by writing this, I'm just giving them more attention, but it had to be done. Besides, they're hot, so it's not so terrible to look through.
Here are the 10 WAGs We've Had Too Much Of.
Vanessa Bryant wasn't a very visible figure to the sports world until Kobe cheated on her with some random chick in Colorado who accused him of rape. Then all of a sudden we couldn't get away from her.
We all know about the giant ring Kobe bought her to keep her happy, but ever since then she's been that wife who always keeps an eye on her husband and won't let him out of her sight.
The worst happened when the Lakers were celebrating their NBA title and Kobe's wife and kids were inexplicably on stage with the players. Really? We needed them up there? Go sit down and fued with Khloe Kardashian some more.
Speaking of the Kardashians, we have a two-for-one here.
First we have the diminutive Kim, and by diminutive I mean in height, not in bust or butt size. She has moved on from Reggie Bush to Cristiano Ronaldo and now Miles Austin. She seems intent on making her way around the NFL and showing up everywhere with her men.
Then there's Khloe, who's whirlwind romance and quick marriage to Lamar Odom just screamed "publicity stunt." But there she was at the Lakers games, cheering on her men and blocking out the sun from people sitting around her.
For being famous for absolutely no good reason, these two continue to get tons of miles out of this shtick.
For a husband who is far down the back slope of a career, Victoria Beckham somehow continues to be an A-list WAG.
The Spice Girls haven't been relevant in years (some would argue they never were) and Beckham didn't even make England's World Cup squad. Yet there is Victoria, always around in her short skits and humongous sunglasses, even when it's not bright outside.
Take a lesson from the other World Cup WAGs and disappear for the other three years when the World Cup isn't going on.
Speaking of World Cup WAGs, Bianca just rubs me the wrong way.
She broke up with her tiny, soccer-playing boyfriend Landon Donovan when he was just a nobody that 99 percent of America couldn't pick out of a lineup.
Then Donovan scores two of the US's most important World Cup goals of all time, mentions her name, and all of a sudden she's back on his arm at the ESPYs.
We see right through you Bianca. Landon won't stay this famous forever, so get as much use out of him now, I guess.
I never really liked watching Spurs games. Maybe it was seeing Duncan's eyes bulge out whenever he got a foul called on him, Manu's flopping, or just their general style of play.
But mostly it was because at every Spurs game, the camera and announcers inexplicably would cut to Eva Longoria in the stands. It's not like she was going nuts cheering on her hubby Tony Parker. She would be texting or talking to somebody, but were were never allowed to forget she was at the game.
Maybe it's not Eva's fault that we're tired of her, but we are nonetheless. She should just make like Parker's rap career and disappear.
Jessica Simpson was once the crown jewel of the WAGs. She was dating up and comer Tony Romo and they seemed like the perfect couple.
Then she started showing up to game, distracting him, going on vacations during the playoffs with him and the fans turned on her. Then she got fat and Tony Romo turned on her. J-Simp was pretty much gone.
Then, for no good reason, she starts dating some former NFL tight end. Have you fallen that far, Jess? John Mayer thought you were spectacular in bed, I would have thought that got you a bigger catch than some former NFLer.
Not sure if she's trying to stay connected to sports somehow and ultimately make her comeback with another player, but this is just sad.
Yes, Sara Carbonero is a sexy sideline reporter. Believe me, I'm a fan. But she's just been getting way too much press.
First she's actually been covering the games which her boyfriend is playing and doing interviews with him after the game. That's ridiculous enough.
Then fans started blaming her when Spain lost, which was just ridiculous in and of itself. But when Spain won the World Cup and she had to do another sham interview with Iker Cassilas, he gave her a big smooch on the lips.
Somehow this was news. She's hot, she's dating him, I would have been more surprised if he didn't kiss her afterward.
Ms. Tom Brady herself is somebody that we're tired of seeing.
It's not like she's always at the games or hogging the spotlight. It's just that we kind of hate her.
I'm tired of hearing how it doesn't matter if Tom Brady signed for less money because his wife makes so much. I'm tired of them both being so damn good looking together.
Okay, maybe I'd be okay with seeing more of her if she did more photoshoots like this one. You gotta admit, she looks fantastic.
That's more money than you or I will see in our lifetimes combined. And she got it for doing nothing other than turning a blind eye to Tiger's cheating ways.
I think it's safe to say that nobody can ever call her a victim after this. For $100 million, we should just call her the luckiest woman alive and go our merry way.
Enough with the Elin sob stories media.
Hank Baskett was on the ESPY red carpet last week. That's right, Hank Baskett. Yes, he's an athlete, but he wasn't there because of his skill.
He was there because of his wife, who was there because her husband is an "athlete." Do you see the kind of crazy, backwards logic that led to both of them being there/famous in the sports world?
It's that reason exactly that we need a break from Kendra, her "athlete" husband, and her reality show. Come back when Hank starts mattering.