England Football Team Parodies: Hey, Fabio Capello, I'd Play 4-4-2

David JacobsCorrespondent IJuly 12, 2010

PORT ELIZABETH, SOUTH AFRICA - JUNE 23:  Fabio Capello manager of England and assistant Stuart Pearce line up for the national anthems before the 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa Group C match between Slovenia and England at the Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium on June 23, 2010 in Port Elizabeth, South Africa.  (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)
Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

Yep, Weird Dave Stankovic has returned with another parody!

*fanfare plays, followed by an unenthusiastic interlude of vuvuzelas playing in descending chromatics and gradually quietening*. Aaaah - Silence.

This parody should look a bit more insightful than my idea of what Fabio Capello may have said in team talks, shown below -

Check the chorus for Capello's actual quotes. Each line of it applies to someone or something associated with the England Squad.

Whatsa madda you? - Rooney
Gotta no respect. - Terry
Whaddya think ya do? - Gerrard
Why you looka so sad? - All of them
Itsa not so bad. - Naivety
Itsa nice-a place. - South Africa as England's holiday destination
Aaah shaddapa you face. - All of them

The parody I place before you today is a belated reaction to England's dire exit from the World Cup in South Africa. It's a song of advice to Capello.

Most of you would recognize this tune as the theme song of "Friends."
But that doesn't mean I find the show particularly entertaining.

Tune - "I'll Be There For You" by The Rembrandts.
New Weird Dave Singalong function below:


Nobody knew that it could ever be this way
When England's World Cup dream's considered D.O.A.
It's like they haven't played for 40 years
And your reasoning for Gerrard as a winger
Are not very clear, so...

I'd play 4-4-2
But with Gerrard at the core
I'd play 4-4-2
'Cause he's played there before
I'd play 4-4-2
It's just my own point of view

You lost 4-1 to Germans
Could've conceded eight
You've burned some bridges here
Things were never great
And we all warned you not to pick Heskey
Oh, but your favouritism just kicked in as if
We're speaking Chinese, but...

I'd play 4-4-2
D'foe and Rooney upfront
I'd play 4-4-2
And give Heskey a shunt
I'd play 4-4-2
Being stubb'rn lost World War Two...

Stevie combines with Lampard
To make the midfield so hard
Seems we're the only ones who have
A decent teamsheet.
Players to win the cup with
And not to screw it up with
Defenders you always stick with
When can Dawson prove himself to you


It's like they haven't played for 40 years
And your reasoning for Gerrard as a winger
Are not very cleeeeeeaaaaar, so...

I'd play 4-4-2
Aaron opens the door
I'd play 4-4-2
So that Glen can do more
I'd play 4-4-2
Terry, James, Cole times two...