My World Cup Soccer Song: If I Had a Vuvu

Stan SillimanCorrespondent IIJuly 12, 2010

DURBAN, SOUTH AFRICA - JULY 07:  A pitch invader runs onto the field of play blowing a vuvuzela during the 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa Semi Final match between Germany and Spain at Durban Stadium on July 7, 2010 in Durban, South Africa.  (Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images)
Clive Mason/Getty Images



     World Cup fever; lots of sister-kissing ties; constant buzzing sounds; considering lobotomy.  Am I the only one?


No actually, if I were at the World Cup and I had industrial strength earplugs, I’d be tooting on a vuvuzela.   I may even borrow a tune from Pete Seeger and compose a vuvuzela song. If I were to do so, it would appear below, sort of like this:


          If I had a vuvu

          I’d blow it in the morning

          I’d blow it in the evening

          All over this game

          I’d blow it out slowly

          I’d blow it with no reason

          I’d blow out all the ears of my brothers and my sisters

          All over this game


          If I had a vuvu

          I’d blow it in their faces

          I’d blow it in their eyeballs

          All over their head

          I’d blow out danger

          I’d blow it at strangers

          I’d blow it at strangers, nevermind the dangers

          All over this game


          If I had a vuvu

          I’d blow it up your nostrils

          I’d clear up your sinuses

          All under your eyes

          I’d blow out eardrums

          So you wouldn’t even hear me

          When I dance around like a crazy horn buffoon

          All over this game


          If I had a vuvu

          I’d blow it at the mo-oon

          I’d blow it at a wildebeast

          All over this land

          It’s the Vuvu of Excitement

          It’s the horn of soccer

          Near the Cape of Good Hope – good luck with that.

          All over this game.