A frustrating season leads to abuse of Licensed Apparel
This season of Cardinals baseball has cost me fingernails, hairline, and lots of beer-money. But most of the burden has been borne by my cap.
- Every time Brendan Ryan has air-mailed a "Dan Quisenberry" to 1st, I've thrown the hat
- Every time Colby Rasmus has loafed, I've tossed it to the floor.
- Every time Matt Holiday or Albert Pujols has popped up or weakly grounded out with RISP, I've bit the bill.
- And every time Tony LaRussa has yanked a starter who's in command but in a jam to bring in "I eat at" Dennys Reyes, I've sweated through it. This later situation usually leads to violent stomping on my cap.
Needless to say, my trusty cap is looking more towards the All-Star break than I am looking forward to my next Budweiser. But there is hope for my much-abused companion. Tyler Greene has his shot to eliminate the tossing. Colby will continue to mature and keep my hat on my head. Timely hitting will become a second half hallmark of the Redbirds, and my teeth will only be used on Toasted Ravioli. Alas, there is no hope for the sweating & stomping, as TLR will continue to "eat at Dennys".
I have made a solemn promise to my chummy chapeau, though. When the Cards finally leave the Reds and the rest of the NL Central full of despair for the playoffs, I will buy one of these snazzy numbers to abuse: