Celebrities live way too well. They roll in the dough, do whatever they please, and only a sex scandal can bring them down.
They apparently can even come out in public with blue hair and a gap tooth, and no one hassles them.
America’s star-centric culture makes celebrities more visible at sporting events than the hockey puck or baseball itself. It’s a shock Mario Lopez doesn’t pop out of nowhere when I turn on ESPN.
Many of these celebrities like sports the way Rex Ryan likes dieting.
They get to fulfill every die-hard sports fan’s dream of sitting next to his favorite player, yet they don’t even know what sport they are watching. It makes fans crazier than a Ron Artest postgame news conference.
However, there is a rare breed of celebrity. These are the people who grew up with the teams, go to every game, and give a primal scream nearly every play.
This list is for those celebs. Not the ones who know more about what’s on the Oprah Winfrey Network than what is going on in front of them, but the ones who fans everywhere should be proud to have on their sidelines.
Sadly, if Oprah is in your stadium, she IS the sideline.
This may not be an obvious pick for some, but let’s give the washed-up ex-couple some love.
Sorry Enrique, but getting in a music video with the "Jersey Shore" cast means Ryan Leaf has more of a career left.
But these two sexy stars are nuts for sports. Whether it was flying around the world to follow Kournikova’s former tennis peers or showing up to more Miami Heat games than Dwyane Wade’s teammates, the couple loved going to watch sports.
However, they lost points for Kournikova showing up in black, while the rest of the arena was in white.
It’s called a white-out, Anna, not a zebra.
Yes, they are separated now, but the work they put in together helped them make the list. When people look this good and love sports, it makes the fat slob watching at home have something to aspire to.
Foxx has more titles under his belt than Muhammad Ali. Actor. Musician. Singer. Sports fan.
He loves Dallas, and has been spotted all over the city’s sports scene. Just like Jerry Jones, Fox sat courtside for the NBA’s All-Star festivities, and in the box for more than a few Cowboys games this season.
Maybe Jones can learn a thing or two from Foxx. He needs to be taught the definition of tacky.
But then again, who wears sunglasses inside, at night?
Foxx is also quite the traveler. He hit up Sin City for the Shane Mosley-Floyd Mayweather bout in May, which was certainly not his first boxing match.
However, if he wanted to watch something really painful, he could just watch his remake of "Miami Vice."
When Philbin isn’t making racially off-putting comments on national television, he loves to watch Notre Dame sports.
That explains the racially off-putting gestures, considering that’s how Ty Willingham got the axe in South Bend in favor of Charlie Weis.
But I digress.
An Irish alum in the class of ’53 (no, not 1753), Philbin is old enough to remember the glory days of his school. He still makes annual trips to football games, and gives speeches at pep rallies on campus.
But the big props go to Philbin for his quote in Esquire in 2004. He told the magazine he loves Notre Dame so much that he wants his ashes scattered in South Bend.
I don’t see Howie Mandel volunteering the same thing for his alma mater.
While Usher’s career may be sliding a bit, the sports world has never stopped giving him love.
Why else would the NBA allow him to dress like a dominatrix for his All-Star performance?
While all the female readers take their minds out of the gutter, let’s talk about his dedication to the game. Being a part-owner of a franchise shows that Usher wants to help the team get better, and that’s what every true fan wants.
Doing it in Cleveland gives him even more points.
He bought into the Cavaliers back in 2005, so he didn’t just jump on the bandwagon once LeBron became the NBA’s best player. He either has the foresight of Nostradamus or the luck of Clint Dempsey.
Either way, if King James leaves tomorrow, Usher’s “Burn” can be rededicated to Cleveland.
It’s great when someone this fine loves sports.
She may be the only woman who understands that when her boyfriend says, “Hey, the game only has two minutes left,” he means, “Can I have a beer, I’m going to be here until the next full moon.”
Milano has been spotted all over the sporting world. Her most recent stunt, which may surprise you, was attending the NHL Draft.
Not even Barry Melrose did that!
But the real reason she’s on the list is her addiction to baseball. She has season tickets to the Dodgers, designed a line of apparel for female baseball fans, and wrote a book about how much she loves the Boys in Blue.
She also boinked two of them, so she gets extra points.
However, she chose Brad Penny, which takes a point away.
The Kardashians may seem like an odd selection, considering none of them play sports, have played sports, or are in the physical shape to play sports.
Unless you count lingerie football. Kim should join that ASAP.
But three of the four Kardashians are well-involved in sports. The mother, Kris, married Olympian Bruce Jenner, Khloe married Lakers forward Lamar Odom, and Kim is now onto her second NFL stud, Miles Austin.
Okay, maybe their interest doesn’t stretch further than what these athletes are packing downstairs.
The girls do seem to bring good luck, however. Shortly after Khloe’s marriage, the Lakers won their 16th championship. When Kim dated Reggie Bush, the Saints won a Super Bowl. And Kim’s new squeeze, Austin, is on the verge of signing a multimillion dollar deal in Dallas.
Any chance Kourtney Kardashian can date a Dodger?
This picture says all you need to know about how much Murray loves sports.
He was the only person standing at the Pac-10 tournament this year.
However, Murray is known for his love of the Chicago Cubs. He’s a regular out in Wrigley, and to stick to a team that has lost for as many consecutive years as the Cubbies have is major dedication.
The comedian also gets bonus points for parenting. His son is a graduate assistant on the Arizona Wildcats’ coaching staff, so it shows Murray raised him to be a fan as well.
Despite my ire for anything Boston, including their cream pie, Mr. Affleck does deserve credit for his fandom.
He’s been spotted at so many Red Sox and Celtics games, it’s amazing that he is able to do any work on movies.
Although, that does seem to explain why he’s in so many awful movies.
"Gigli." "Jersey Girl." "Daredevil." The list goes on.
However, unlike many celebs who go to games, Affleck comes in the same exact outfit a guy sitting in the bleachers would. A broken-in Sox cap, old red Boston parka, and a pair of jeans makes him fit right in.
So many celebs show up in Maradona-style suits, it’s like they forgot where they are.
After Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter, there’s nothing more Yankee than Crystal.
He’s lived every fan’s dream when he got to play DH for the Bronx Bombers in a spring training game. Crystal called it one of the best things to happen in his life.
Rightfully so. If the Dodgers gave me that opportunity, not even Usain Bolt could catch me on the way to Chavez Ravine.
The comedian grew up on Long Island, so it’s clear he has been with the Yanks since day one. It was no surprise that he directed "61*," an HBO movie about Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle.
She’s another stunning woman who adores sports.
And in California? Oh, you tease.
Even post-baby, she has a figure and smile so hot that she can make diamonds melt. She used to have season tickets to the Golden State Warriors, but as of late, she has moved down to the SoCal teams.
She must have been annoyed by all the people saying, “Hella.”
Oh, and losing more often than William Jennings Bryan.
Now in L.A., the bombshell and husband Cash Warren are regulars courtside at Lakers and Clippers games.
If she could just ditch the husband, she’d be up to No. 1.
Straight out of the L.B.C., it’s Snoop D-O-Double G-Z
Snoop never forgot his roots. He started in L.A. and has remained a Lakers, Raiders, and Trojans fan for life.
If only two of those teams weren’t so unlikable, he’d be higher on the list. Rooting for the Raiders and Trojans makes me want to curb-stomp myself.
But what sets Snoop apart is what he gives back to the community. The rapper has been honored as one of the top Pop Warner coaches in the Southern California area, and even attempted to make his own Pop Warner League a couple years ago.
I wonder how they did drug testing…
Not sure the President will be happy not cracking the top five.
But hey, he runs the most powerful nation in the world, so he can nuke me if he’s got a problem.
Mr. Obama has made his allegiance to the Chicago White Sox very clear. He routinely comes back to U.S. Cellular Field to watch them play, and threw out the first pitch at a Washington Nationals game in his beaten White Sox cap.
If he did that at Wrigley, there’d be more than a few people hopping the ivy to tackle him.
But the Illinois native does get a lot of respect for being the first President to pick a NCAA tourney bracket. ESPN spent a 15-minute segment detailing each pick, showing the President knows a lot about the game.
At least his segment isn’t an hour like LeBron’s. Obama knows tact.
Ferrell may be smiling here, but this picture was taken before USC got slapped with a book of sanctions longer than the Magna Carta.
Ferrell has got to be a great fan to have though. He stands on the sidelines, high-fiving players, and patting their asses like he’s part of the team.
He’s a perfect fit with the Trojans! What’s more pretentious than customizing a K-Swiss hat for your favorite school?
Side note: Many people didn’t see "Semi-Pro," but I have to give Ferrell props there. His basketball performance was underrated and hysterical.
First, Jay-Z gets props for bringing the lovely Beyonce to New Jersey.
I doubt the majority owner, Mikhail Prokhorov, has a woman that gorgeous on his side. When the Nets start playing as badly as usual, at least the fans have something to look at.
But Jigga is as active as a minority owner as anyone. He went to Cleveland to court LeBron James, and met with Nets brass throughout the offseason to work on their free agency plan.
With that kind of effort, he could run the Clippers. At least he would do something, unlike Sterling.
But one thing H.O.V.A. does more than any other rapper is reference sports in his songs. Nick Van Exel, Randall Cunningham, and a myriad of other obscure athletes make appearances in his lyrics, which makes me smile every time.
Judd isn’t the biggest celebrity around nowadays, but her fandom makes her a constant on "SportsCenter."
If Kentucky basketball is on, she gets more airtime than John Wall.
I wonder if she can do his dance…
But her love for the Wildcats runs deeper than that. The UK alum has cooked dinner for the squad, sits in the student section almost every game, and has written in Sports Illustrated about her blue crush.
Now, if this "Blue Crush" also involved Michelle Rodriguez, Ashley would be No. 1.
My original idea for this slide was to take the thousands of pictures of Mr. Cube in Raiders gear and arrange them into a bigger picture of him like a mosaic.
Sadly, I have the Photoshop skills of an epileptic chimpanzee, so you’re stuck with this.
The former N.W.A. member has donned the black and silver for as long as I can remember. Tons of his films have references to the Black Hole and the Raiders.
However, I have not seen many of these. If I want to watch something awful, I’ll just turn on TBS.
Oh wait, he’s on there too.
Cube gets a lot of respect for his dedication to the Raiders, but his recent allegiance to the Lake Show gives him a boost in my book.
His championship song with Ray-J, however, is the worse thing to touch music since the Black Eyed Peas.
When Longoria first married Spurs guard Tony Parker, a lot of people thought it was just another celeb-athlete marriage.
Yawn. How boring.
However, Longoria seems to be quite the sports fanatic. She’s been to boxing matches, MLS games, and the French Open, all without Parker at her side.
So many people thought she’d just root for the Spurs, but she knows more about the sports world than some "SportsCenter" anchors.
Sign her up, and put her alongside Erin Andrews.
Commence the drooling
Clearly, Longoria isn’t in San Antonio just for the publicity. She comes to almost every game, home or away, and actually looks like she sweats out the game like a die-hard fan.
If you can think of five other women who do that, I’ll fax you a prize.
While I can’t stand any of McConaughey’s movies, I must give him credit.
He’s as synonymous with Texas football nowadays as Mack Brown.
The pretty-boy actor makes more showings on ESPN during Longhorns’ games than their mascot. And while I can’t explain why they always insist on interviewing him, he seems to know plenty about the team.
It’s nice to know he doesn’t hear “Colt McCoy” and think someone’s shooting at him.
But as of late, McConaughey has been branching out. He’s starting to hit up a lot more baseball games, making him the most attractive thing at a Yankees game since Alex Rodriguez.
Well, as long as you like men wearing lip gloss.
Just look at the director’s outfit and you know he’s all about New York.
A Yanks championship hat and Dr. Dre headphones in Knicks’ colors? The only thing that would make him rep his city harder is if his glasses showed traffic alerts.
Spike has been a mainstay in Madison Square Garden since he was a little boy. He watched Willis Reed’s amazing performance against the Lakers in Game Seven of the 1970 NBA Finals from the nosebleeds at the age of 14.
Yeah, he may be paying 1,000 times more for his current seat, but he still loves to go bananas on the sideline. He’s had altercations with Reggie Miller, Kobe Bryant, and many more, proving that he loves his Knicks more than Amar’e Stoudemire ever will.
He loves the blue and orange so much, if the Knicks get LeBron tomorrow, he may scream louder than all the vuvuzelas in the world.
It becomes national news when Nicholson isn’t sitting courtside, and during ESPN’s “Star Watch,” he’s the only celebrity referred to by first name only.
Yeah, even Cher gets a last name.
Since 1970, Jack has had season tickets to the Lakers, even in the rat hole known as the Great Western Forum. He’s never sold the tickets for a single year, and if he misses two games in a row, the announcers blame any losses on him.
It’s a surprise Kobe doesn’t rub his belly before games.
Los Angeles gets hammered about Laker games simply being a place for celebrities to show off, but don’t tell that to Nicholson.
He will go all "Shining" on you.
He comes to every game, screaming at the refs, taunting the opposition, and pumping his arms in the air to get the rest of the crowd to make noise. Jack’s actions seem like those of someone sitting in the boonies in section 1,000,000.
But all you have to do is look next to the scorer’s table, and he’s an easy find.
Check out more from Ross at LA Sports Examiner and follow him on Twitter at Rossel64.
Plus he sits next to Lou Adler, who stole his clothes from a traffic cone. He makes a good signaling beacon for Jack.
I know that this may seem like a homer pick since I’m a Lakers fan, but I’d rather have Jack rooting for my team than any drunk guy in the bleachers.
Don’t you agree? If not, I hear Jack can get into his Joker costume pretty easily.