I'm being forced to think that LeBron James is a criminal because he's kidnapped the National Basketball Association and he won't release it till Thursday 9 PM Eastern Time.
That's the time we've been given.
Are we the witnesses you ask?
Yes, but we're also the bloody hostages!
Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, it did. In any other year, Amare Stoudemire leaving my beloved Suns to become a Knick would have dispatched a fair amount of shock waves through my basketball system.
This time, it didn't!
Who cares what's happening to Carlos Boozer and his entourage when you have His Highness Mr. Akron slated to make his decision on National Television?
Who cares when you hear of Chris Bosh moving to Miami to join the superstar who was picked immediately after him in the draft seven years ago?
And who cares when you realize that these two incidents could end up being inextricably linked and forever alter the landscape of basketball in America!
I care !
Let's not get carried away but forgive me for purposely playing right into the hands of this over hyped drama. APBRmetrics guru John Hollinger has a succinct seven word analysis about whether this dream move will work or not —"Of course it will, don't be stupid."
So let's not be moronic. Let's not find loopholes with the surreal thought of James, Wade and Bosh sharing the American Airlines arena.
If it happens (and it can!), the Miami Heat will have to go through detention to cough up all that extra homework. They'll need to organize pay cuts and flip their entire cap room upside down to accommodate the rest of the team.
And then ?
We'll have three fifths of a dream team. James and Wade are sure shot Hall of Famers and Bosh is a lock to get there too. Wade is a slashing athletic guard somewhat reminiscent of His Airness himself while James is a freak of a Small Forward with Point Guard skills and unmatched athleticism.
Bosh is a hugely productive big man with enough skill off the ball as well as relative toughness and finesse in the paint that will cause match up problems for any team.
Believe me, it's an unreal scenario!
For right now, the free agent saga has almost run its course. And just like always, LeBron James will have the last significant say.
He'll have it prime time at nine o'clock in the evening as the entire nation and basketball world watches.
That's the way he's wanted it irrespective of how many titles he has.
That's the way he's wanted it ever since he was old enough (or young enough) to realize that he was a superstar by default .
And that's the way he'll get it—by assuming a throne and speaking to his willing subjects as they wait—begging for his decision and pleading for release from this dramatic narrative.