The Five Most Annoying Fans at a College Football Game

College football is rooted in its traditions and its rivalries. Age-old rituals and passionate fans are integral parts of the game and contributing factors to the game's popularity. It's a shame that a few bad apples have to ruin it for everybody and take things a little too far.

Sure, the stands are filled with knowledgeable fans who follow their squads religiously and could name the third-string quarterback and the offensive line coach without batting an eye.

Then, there are "the others."

You've seen them. You just hope they aren't sitting anywhere around you. They aren't there to watch the game—they're just looking to get drunk or get themselves on TV.

More often than not, it's a tipsy frat boy who's just killing time until the Toga Party on Saturday night at the Delta House, but there are plenty of "grown-ups" who are guilty as well.

Without further adieu, here are the five most annoying fans in college football:

The Smack Talker

You live and die with every snap of the ball. You loaded up your Chevy Malibu and made the 800-mile drive to watch your favorite college team on a Saturday afternoon. You dressed yourself head-to-toe in your team's favorite colors.

Now, you just watched your team's defensive end bull rush the opponent's tight end and throw aside the running back en route to dumping the quarterback for a 12-yard loss. What's the first thing you do?

You spin around in your seat, look for the nearest fan wearing colors that don't match yours and start running your mouth about how "we" just owned you.

"You" had very little to do with the play, so maybe "you" should just mind your own business.

Funny how when things are going right for the Smack Talker, it's "we", and when things aren't going so well, it's "they suck."

The Wig Master

The Wig Master attends a college football game with one thing in mind: getting himself on television by any means necessary. There are several methods used by the Wig Master in pathetic attempts to garner attention for himself, but all of them involve some sort of zany getup designed to turn heads.

A team-colored wig is a popular staple. As are the tried and true afro wig and the rainbow afro wig. Face paint, eye black, and beer foam helmets, are in heavy rotation as well.

My personal favorite is the full costume, which is in no way related to the team, worn in early September.

It's not even Halloween, and these people are willing to put on a little show with the slim hopes of seeing themselves on the scoreboard. Yes, we all thought Heath Ledger was brilliant as the Joker, but I'm not sure how you dressing up as him at the Missouri/Illinois game early in the season is really relevant.

The Sandwich Board

Look, we're all impressed that you took time from your busy schedule to head down to Wal-Mart to pick up a Sharpie and some poster board, but you can put your little sign away now.

I don't want to look at the back of a white sheet of paper for three hours just because your buddies told you it would be amusing if you made a "Saban 3:16" sign. This isn't the WWE.

If you want to say "Hi Mom", just pull out your cell phone and give her a call. You're going to be on the phone for half the game anyway, constantly calling your roommate and asking him if he's seen you on TV yet.

Authentic Jersey Guy

Maybe I'm way off here, but I'm more than a little creeped out when a guy in his mid-40's wants to dress up like someone who is 25 years his junior. You're an accountant from Sandusky with a significant spare tire, not an athletic phenomenon.

Just because you've acquired the uniform doesn't mean you're fit to wear it. If No. 2 happens to get injured, do you think Sweater Vest is going to immediately start scouring the fans looking for his replacement?

Look, I think my mailman does a fantastic job, but I'm not going to start scouring usps.com looking for a light blue button-up shirt with the name "Roger" sewn on the chest. Let the men who play the game wear the jersey.

The Male Cheerleader

I'm going to hold on to my antiquated belief that the men should play football and the women should be the cheerleaders. I'm willing to give up watching you toss a 90-lb woman into the air if it gets me out of listening to you chant "Let's Go Red" with your giant megaphone.