The All-Motorsport Power Rankings: No. 69
And we all thought there'd be nothing to talk about after another boring race around the fish market in Valencia.
Instead, we have flying cars (and the causes of flying cars), rule breaking, lots and lots of whining about rule breaking, and post-race penalties because F1 gets its panties in a twist whenever the words "safety" and "car" are mentioned.
If every Formula One race were like that we wouldn't have to resort to stupid rubbish like movable wings, (well, wings that are movable sometimes), but not others unless it's the second Sunday in a month beginning with "J" and got out on the left hand side of your bed in an even numbered hotel room that morning. Or something like that.
Fortunately, to readress the excitement/interest, balance and image the NASCAR race was fantastically dull, so fittingly was won by the fantastically dull Jimmie Johnson.
15. George Osborne (Politics, stick with me, it's a slow week)
Red Bull have announced no major updates for Britain.
Well, times are tough with the massive national deficit and volatile markets.
OK, that’s enough political commentary for...ever.
14. Danica Patrick (Indycar, hopefully)
Loudon Nationwide Series results - you’ll probably need to scroll down to find Danica.
13. Bernie Ecclestone (Yank baiting)
All strangely familiar.
12. Pirelli (F1's new shoes)
An “aggressive” approach?!
Spikes in the center of the hubs then please lads...
11. Josef Kral (GP2, trendsetter)
The originator of the “Flying Valencia” move popularised by Mark Webber.
Personally, I think the Marshalls running away only add to the footage.
10. Kamui Kobayashi (F1)
He apparently didn’t realise it was the last lap when he passed Buemi at the final corner.
9. Juan Montoya (NASCAR)
Was there anyone that Juan didn’t bounce off at the weekend?
The only surprise was that Reed Sorenson dealt the final blow and not anyone, you know, worthwhile.
8. Freddy Loix (IRC)
Winner of the IRC Ypres Rally. Report here.
Note that Stephane Sarrazin crashed out, which must have made a nice change from engine failure.
7. Heikki Kovalainen (F1)
Lotus to report Red Bull to the Advertising Standards Authority after Red Bull left them with actually fewer wings.
6. Stefano Domenicali (Whining)
Well, at least Ferrari and working their way up the gird in terms to the teams they whine about. It's progress.
5. Mark Webber (F1, uncontrolled flight)
And the Red Bull Air Race series doesn’t even visit Spain this year.
4. Lewis Hamilton (F1)
His girlfriend’s going to a judge on a TV “show.”
First his dad, then Nicole. Why do all his hangers-on leave him?!
3. Jimmie Johnson (NASCAR)
Why did I ever even suggest I missed Jimmie Johnson winning?
Anyone tell me?
Me and my big gob (well, fingers, seen as this is text but you get the jist)
Loudon Sprint Cup results.
2. Jorge Lorenzo (Moto GP)
Just give him the title and be done with it.
Dutch Moto GP report and results.
1. Sebastian Vettel (F1)
“Motorsport is dangerous. It's what is written on every ticket. From the public point-of-view, many times it's been criticized that F1 is boring compared to the past, that nothing happens now and so on.”
Yes, we clearly need to randomly launch a driver into mid air every race to make it interesting.
European Grand Prix report.