10 Football Players Who Need Nicknames (And We've Got Suggestions)
Nicknames and sports go together like peanut butter and jelly. Anyone can have a nickname, and the origins of the nickname can be just as crazy as the nickname itself.
Baseball is perhaps one of the better sports for nicknames, especially when you think of a guy like "Oil Can" Boyd. That's a pretty good one.
But football also lends itself to some good nicknames, like Ed "Too Tall" Jones.
Here are 10 football players who don't currently have official nicknames and a few suggestions on what moniker they should be sporting.
Braylon Edwards fancies himself to be an elite wide receiver in the NFL. But the truth is that 2007 was his only good year.
While the Cleveland Browns had accuracy issues last year, it didn't help that Edwards dropped a lot of balls before he was traded to the New York Jets.
And when I say he dropped a lot of balls, I mean your average golden retriever could be a better receiver than Edwards.
So Edwards is now "Brick Hands."
Braylon "Brick Hands" Edwards will continue to put on clinics of how NOT to be an NFL wide receiver in 2010.
When the Cleveland Browns' Joshua Cribbs didn't receive a new contract prior to the 2009 season, Deion Sanders nicknamed him "Pay The Man" in an NFL Network piece.
The moniker stuck for Browns fans, and Cribbs eventually got his new contract earlier this year.
Chris Johnson is now in a similar situation as Cribbs in that he's clearly outplayed his rookie contract but isn't getting the kind of payday he desires.
In the interest of trying to stay original, Johnson now becomes "Paycheck."
You'd think a guy like Tom Brady would have some kind of easily recognizable nickname, but he doesn't.
Brady is a three-time Super Bowl Champion and moves from one supermodel to the next like most people buy new shirts. In other words, I hate him.
Brady needs something to evoke the sense of order he brings to the offense when he is on the field, so how about "Sheriff Tom Brady?"
Matt Leinart is on bordering on becoming a draft bust. This year will determine whether he earns his franchise quarterback tag or not.
Since he's spent his entire professional career bouncing back and forth from starter to backup, his nickname is "Bounce."
In light of recent events, and since the name would correspond to on-field accomplishments, Michael Vick is now "Shooter."
Yes, I realize he was allegedly nowhere near the shooting, but why should we let that get in the way of a good nickname?
For a guy like Brandon Marshall, who doesn't do much except catch every pass thrown his way, there really is no other nickname to bestow on him.
All Marshall needs is an article, "The."
The Marshall will be terrorizing secondaries for Miami this year in his role as the No. 1 wide receiver.
How Brett Favre never got a nickname in his career is mind-boggling.
Favre needs something that encapsulates his greatness while not going too over the top.
"The Ironman" seems appropriate, and it's been used informally before.
For a guy like DeMarcus Ware, you need something strong to convey his ability to penetrate the line and get sacks.
Ware chops down his opponents and leaves timber in his wake. Therefore, he is "The Lumber Yard."
Asante Samuel is "Public Enemy No. 1" due to his constant theft of quarterback passes.
Samuel is one of the greatest threats on the field when it comes to intercepting the ball, and his nickname should reflect just how dangerous he is.
Patrick Willis was the league leader in tackles last year with 152.
His ability to eliminate the competition from the play should earn him the fearsome nickname, "The Eliminator."