The Secret Life of Flag Football Guy

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The Secret Life of Flag Football Guy

As heard from "Four-9" Knapp, aka The Paper Texan, on the Jim Rome Show Tuesday, June 22, 2010:

Flag Football Guy...

1. wastes untold time of the company he works for running his team and league for which he is an "officer" on their fictionally delusional Board of Directors
2. uses up all the binding materials that are supposed to be for presenting proposals to prospects and clients because he used it for playbooks to distribute to the rest of the team
2. has set up his e-mail so that his address contains as its domain the name of the team, or worse, also includes its motto: #80@hyenas-get-it-done.com
4. schedules practices, and threatens disciplinary action against team mates who don't make it or are late
5. sends out multiple motivational "blast-texts" to the whole team
6. keeps paper and pen on the nightstand in case he wakes up in the middle of the night with a great idea for a play
7. has intricate system of audibles to be called in certain situations
8. has a system of "call signals" (like "Four - 9", or "All Day") for teammates that rival even those of "Maverick", "Goose", or "Ice Man"
9. has plays drawn up on his QB wristband that is only a little more embarrassing than the fact that he's wearing the earring he wore during his high school state championship game.
10. practices throughout the brutal summers in Houston in 100+ degrees when the league doesn't even start until January
11. bases workouts and practices upon what he saw at Houston Texans OTAs he snuck into
12. works on his footwork for routes and "cuts" while in line at the bank
13. approaches complete strangers about playing for the team

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