The Yankees buy their talent. Big deal.
The Yankees buy their championships. They're not breaking any rules.
The Yankees have more money than any other franchise in MLB. Isn't that great?
But since all of the Yankee haters out there believe that every signing in Yankees history has brought a World Series championship to New York, in the famous words of ESPN's Lee Corso, "not so fast my friends."
Believe it or not, the Yankees have had some awful signings in their illustrious history, but fortunately, money is not an issue with this team, so they were able to overcome the millions of dollars that were wasted on these free agents.
Therefore, it's my pinstripe honor to present "A Waste Of Money: The 10 Worst Signings In New York Yankees History."
Just in case you didn't know, being a Yankee fan wasn't always fun. We actually were forced to watch these guys play baseball, and that certainly was an appalling experience.
Following a loss to the Los Angeles Dodgers in the 1981 World Series, the Yankees were looking to rebuild by adding speed to their lineup.
They turned their attention towards Dave Collins, who was supposed to be lightning on the base paths.
Collins had stolen over 100 bases for the Reds in the two years before joining the Yankees, but lightning struck in New York, and the lights went out fast on his career in pinstripes.
Collins would go onto steal 13 bases with the Yankees, hit .253 and, after the season, was traded to the Blue Jays for Dale Murray and a minor leaguer named Fred McGriff.
You might have heard of him. I certainly have.
Danny Tartabull was the AL's highest-paid player in 1992.
In his first two years with the Yankees, he was a great addition to the lineup before becoming a Yankee disgrace and a enemy of the Boss.
In 1993, Tartabull had a career year, belting 31 home runs, driving in 102 RBI, and finishing the year with a .503 slugging percentage.
Now, Tartabull is more famous for his feud with George Steinbrenner and his cameo on the sitcom Seinfeld.
And, according to reports, Tartabull was one of the many reasons why the Yankees missed the playoffs for 13 years.
Thanks Danny. It was great to have you in New York.
Playing three seasons in New York, Hideki Irabu won two World Series championships, recorded 29 wins, and, according to the Boss, was "a fat ***** toad."
He did only cost the Yankees 12 million dollars for his horrendous performances, so essentially it could've been worse.
Actually, watching him pitch was bad enough. Thank g-d that nightmare ended quickly.
Are you wondering why Jason Giambi is on this list?
Well, don't be.
In his first two seasons with the Yankees, Giambi belted 41 home runs in both years and in 2003, he drove in 129 RBI.
And although Giambi was not a terrible disappointment during his six-year tenure with the Yankees, starting in 2004, Giambi's numbers started to decrease in all offensive categories.
During his last two seasons in the Bronx, Giambi combined to hit only 46 home runs and drove in 145 RBI, to go along with roughly a .245 batting average.
By the end of Giambi's contract, the Yankees were paying $23 million for a designated hitter that wasn't even producing.
By the way, has anyone seen Giambi's lucky thong?
He sure can use it in Colorado.
I still hate Jaret Wright for his Game Five heroics in the 1997 ALCS, where he pitched 5 1/3 innings, giving up only two runs, earning his second victory of the series for the Cleveland Indians.
Wright broke the hearts of Yankee fans in 1997, and eight years later, Wright returned to the Bronx, as a member of the Yankees.
Only to see our hearts get broken one more time.
In two seasons with the Bombers, he had only 16 wins, compiled a 4.99 ERA, and had an a abysmal 1.603 WHIP. Not to mention his one postseason performance in 2006 against the Detroit Tigers in the ALDS and his postseason ERA of 10.00.
Basically all but summarizing Wright's career in pinstripes.
During his time with the Yankees, Pavano experienced more injuries than wins.
He left New York with nine wins, a 5.00 ERA, and a one-way ticket to a small island in the middle of nowhere.
Maybe he shouldn't have broken up with Alyssa Milano.
Would've been nice to see her in a Yankees jersey.
To this day, Kyle Farnsworth still blames Joe Torre for not knowing how to use him.
Someone should tell Farnsworth it wasn't Torre who allowed 28 home runs and 73 walks in 170.3 innings pitched.
Maybe he only needed a stronger prescription for his eyeglasses.
Roughly $23 million per win (not bad).
I wish I was that bad and got paid that much.
2007 Regular Season:
Games Started: 17
Win/Loss Record: 6–6
Innings Pitched: 99
Games Started: 1
Win/Loss Record: 0-0
Innings Pitched: 2.1
Why did the Yankees sign Clemens?
Not really sure, but at least one Yankee announcer was happy.
When discussing Chan Ho Park and Nick Johnson, it's not the money that's the issue, it's the fact GM Brian Cashman was so adamant about signing an awful pitcher and a injury-prone player.
Park and his 6.16 ERA should be deported back to South Korea, and Johnson might never see the field again this season.
Although that's a great combination, I'd still rather the number five combo at McDonald's.
At least I get a medium fries with it, while watching Park and Johnson only provided heartache, frustration, and a lot of Advil.