Is it me, or did the 2010 Draft feel Sam Bowie slash Michael Olawakandi-ish? June 24th arrived with a bang, but after four Kentucky players not named Wall or Cousins went to NBA teams as opposed to NBDL teams, fell apart worse than Buzz Aldron on Dancing With They Never Were Stars.
That night the oddly assembled crew of Jeff Van Gundy, John Barry, and Mr. Booya were grasping for highly questionable praise of players neither knew much about. After Georgetown Hoya Greg Monroe was plucked by the Pistons at no. 7, Van Gundy had more runny eye black than Tim Tebow after the SEC title game.
By the start of round 2 there was confirmation to the rumor that Barry was caught off camera asking Booya "So...you think anyone's noticed I've been playing off Van Gundy all night?" To which Booya calmy responded "Nah. I've had the worst haircut in broadcast history for 10 years running and no one's ever said a thing."
Besides the fact most draftees got it right with slick suits, there were a plethera of second round wolves in lottery sheep skins. In at no.15 the Milwaukee Bucks chose Larry Sanders whose name sounds like he's a career vacuum cleaner salesman.
Every NBA fan knows, a name like that guarantees at least two knee injuries. "At power forward...6'11, 225 lbs...from V-C-U (HUH?!)- Laaaarrrry... Saaaanders!" And the crowd goes...dead.
Immediately following that injury report, the Timberwolves select a small forward from Nevada by the name of Luke Babbitt. As I rubbed my eyes to make sure the "a" in his last name wasn't an "o", I scoured my brains to conjure up any great players that have come from Nevada. Blinking Eyes. Blank Stare.
My fog was lifted nine picks later when it became apparent the New Russian Nets were bowing out of the Lebron sweepstakes by scooping Jordan Crawford at no. 27. Something tells me the possibility of gettin' bashed on by Jordan again doesn't sit well with King James.
With that, I guess Chicago's out too. Hearing the name Jordan over and over and over and over and...well, you get the point. Somewhere between the fog and the Wizards no. 30 pick, Lazar(us?) Hayward-because we know the Wiz need all the divine healing they can get-I discovered the Portland Trailblazers fired GM Kevin Pritchard. I mean... REALLY?!
Before I tackle that conundrum, when the ticker flashed "...9. Utah Jazz, Gordon Haywood..." my immediate thought was-Are the Utah Jazz afraid to draft dark skinned guards? I mean when you really think about it, once they spend a season in that weather they'll turn pasty white. Hey, with the lack of talent in this draft, can you blame me for entertaining myself?
So, the franchise who picked Sam "I never saw an injury I didn't like" Bowie ahead of Michael "The Greatest of All Time" Jordan and who recently snagged Greg "Body Parts" Oden over Kevin "I just might surpass Jordan as the greatest of all time" Durant, fires their GM on a draft night where lottery picks can turn out to be goats or dare I say --the G.O.A.T?
Somewhere on a horse farm in North Carolina, Bowie is laughing all the way to the bank. I think it's safe to say there's more than a little irony in that.