My husband says that if Orton had Cena’s flair, I’d be a fan girl. I don’t have the courage to tell him that I already am. *lol*
It’s time for Monday Night Raw… let’s go! Nice pyro! Hello Bridgeport, Connecticut!
Mr. McMahon is swaggerin’ his way out to the ring! Let’s hear what he has to jaw about! He’s talking about F4W, and the new champion, Shaemus. One person to blame for that chaos according to McMahon… Bret Hart. Says he made a bad decision in firing Barret and ignoring the NXT rookies. He blames the whole thing on Bret Hart. “We want Bret” shouted from the crowd. As a result, McMahon relieves Bret Hart of his duties as GM of raw, in other words, he’s fired. Announcing a new GM who prefers to remain anonymous… using the computers at the announce table. Michael Cole will announce what those wishes are.
Cole stands. All seven members of NXT have officially been hired and will address the WWE universe, tonight. McMahon tells us to enjoy the show.
Shaemus shows up with his newly acquired belt. Shaemus appears to be having a problem… “You suck!” from the crowd. Shaemus says this is not the way he wanted to win the WWE championship!!! Last night he wanted to prove himself by winning against three WWE superstars, in the ring, on his own. So he’s saying… he doesn’t deserve the championship!!! WHOOOOOO! FACE PUSH!?!!? He’s handling McMahon the belt, laugh, and puts it back on his shoulder. “And yet I will anyway!” He praises himself for being the new WWE champion! He thanks NXT for being the jerks that they’ve been.
Before they get all excited, he wants the NXT guys to know that he could have won on his own. This is him winning his second WWE championship. Cena’s music pops! The crowd is going nuts!
Cena’s in to make his statement! He reminds me of my big, little brother… he’ll always be the man to me. Cena would like to thank Mr. McMahon for the new anonymous GM. He’s interested. Michael Cole: send a msg to the GM with thanks and a nod for knowing they’ll be there! And again, calls Shaemus the human jar of mayonnaise. Finally, thank you, Bridgeport! Right here, right now, he wants his rematch!!! Mayonaise says there’ll be no WWE championship tonight! Cole says the GM says: Main event: Shaemus will defend the WWE title against John Cena. HUGE POP!
Oh, another email… To ensure no on interferes a special guest referee will be named: Mr. McMahon!!!
Cena walks off very happy… Shaemus looks… scared. *lol*
Slam of the week: Codebreaker where Evan Bourne kicked out! Bourne top rope! Airbourne! WOO!
Evan Bourne is out! Jericho is out to give him a run! Jericho says if he doesn’t win, he’ll retire! Two quick covers on Jericho by Bourne, kickouts! During the break, Bourne nails Jericho from the top rope, outside the ring. “Let’s go Evan” chanted from the crowd! Jericho kicks Evan out of the ring! Evan beats the ten count is back in the ring! He lifts Evan up, Evan counters and pins… two count! Evan kicks Jericho back. Bourne pins and Jericho rolls out. Walls of Jericho! Bourne counters! Pin for two! Bourne gets a backbreaker from Jericho, but after a two-count, Evan kicks out! Jericho lays Evan out over his knee in a submission hold. Bourne pulls out. Jericho kicks Evan in the face, gets up on the ropes, Evan flips Jericho off the ropes, Jericho rolls into the wall… Bourne going for the ropes for relief. He nails the ropes and Jericho looks nothing but frustration! Bourne kicks Jericho over to a possible knockout, Bourne top rope Airbourne, Jericho sees it coming! Codebreaker! Jericho wins it! After a five-loss streak! That cockiness is back. Jericho is pulling Bourne up… slams him back to the mat. The “me-first” cockiness that Jericho shows is back. But that takes NOTHING away from Bourne!
Seems there’s no guest host tonight! WOO!
McMahon seems surprised at his guest referee status. He tells the new GM not to ‘surprise’ him again.
Ted and Virgil. Virgil’s fired and Maryse is hired! GET THAT LONG MULLET OFF MY TV! What are you going to do for protection, Virgil asks… Ted says… *LOL* he’ll go to the drugstore.
The Hart Dynasty interviewed by Josh Matthews… they think NXT should be fired. They think that these Harts won’t stop beating. My wish is GRANTED! Natalya will be fighting tonight! They feel that the NXT jerks should be –arrested- not rewarded!
Big show advertising for Matt Bomer on WhiteCollar. Silly, forgettable.
The Hart Dynasty is coming out for Natalya!!! Tyson Kidd and David Hart Smith are t here for her! Tamina is coming out with the Usos. Tamina kicks Natalya, pressing her with a boot into the corner. Tam throws Nat into the corner. Natalya bodyslams Tamina. Tamina takes advantage from behind. Nat fights to get Tam’s shoulders down… NXT approaches the ring. DHS and Tyson Kidd attacks NXT! The Harts are being beat down by these NXT jerks. Wade Barret steps into the ring…
NXT rookies are now in the ring. Otunga wishes to apologize. They love WWE so much that they’ll do anything to get noticed, anything to get to be a piece of it. Heath Slater babbles. Bret Hart gets called out by Justin Gabriel. He’s apologizing. Tyson Kidd and David Hart Smith get apologies. Darren Young also apologizes to Cena… they needed to attack the top guy in the WWE. They’re sure he’ll get the title back. Skip Sheffield apologizes to the whole WWE universe. He says that he hopes that the youngsters and parents out there there that will forgive and forget. Michael Tarver: apologizes to his kids. He raised them better than this. Join up or be shown the door, they’d all be there to do what they did. Barret says the men did what they had to do. He was the only one who had a shot… loyalty made him do what he did. Shouts of “what!?” from the crowd. WWE management would not dictate their careers, he says. The crowd chants “YOUSUCK”! He has been reinstated as has his title shot. If they made a target out of Cena, they can make a target out of Shaemus, who needs (per Barret) to be ready for his title shot. Annoying and stupid, IMHO.
Now it’s up for the Monday Night Delight, John Morrison! He’s accompanied by Eli Cottonwood, his NXT rookie. The competition is between Morrison and Zack Ryder, who sucks. His rookie is Titus Oneil… who cares?. Morrson nails Ryder with Starship pain, ending the match! GREAT JOB! (Sorry, I needed a bathroom break!)
John Cena’s annoyed by being made a target. Apology from NXT rookies not accepted! But right now, he wants his title back! McMahon says he’ll have no excuses and neither will Shaemus. He wishes him good luck.
And in comes the Punjabi Playboy! The Great Khali! Eve approaches the ring with him! Alicia Fox (Diva’s champ since last night) approaches with Primo! Alicia shoves Eve. Eve takes Alicia down to the mat… headlock. Slams her down after an attempt to get up. Eve nails Alicia off the rope. Eve rolls over Alicia’s back, making her look stupid. Eve kicks out at two after Alicia gets her down. Alicia stomps Eve’s head. Eve punches at Alicia, knee to the jaw by Alicia. Alicia picks up Eve and throws her into the corner. Eve kicks out against Alicia. Top rope by Eve, moonsault, and pins Alicia. Primo breaks it up and now faces Khali. Alicia is leaving the ring! Khali smacks Primo around. PIN, 3 COUNT. Khali nails Primo. Khali and Eve win it!
Orton looks over the crowd, but what’s missing? His disdain! He’s likin’ folks cheering for him! He calls out NXT. It’s only a matter of time before he punts each and every one of those douchebags in the skull. A for Wade Barret. He accepts the apology. Because if he becomes the next WWE champion, then he’s staring into the eyes of the man who’s going to take it from him. THE MIZ IS COMING OUT TO TALK CRAP TO ORTON!!?? The Miz is sick of the Viper. Who cares? Miz claims the next WWE champ match is HIS. I hope Randy RKO’s Orton. He cheapshots Orton! Sccop slam by Orton! Miz slides out of the ring to avoid the RKO! *rofl* Edge comes in and spears Orton! ANNOYING!
Edge sucks. He’s way too full of himself. The master ‘psychologist’? Hardly. He needs to go to school to be the master –anything- besides a bullshitter.
Time for the MAIN EVENT! Guest ref: Mr. McMahon! Here comes Cena! HUGE POP! Cena can do no wrong in my eyes, he reminds me of my little big-brother. He’s the man! Here comes mayonnaise… Shaemus. The man could develop his own brand at this point. What a pop for Cena on introduction! And what heat for Shaemus… well, not as much, but some. Shout from the crowd “Cena!” Shaemus seems on top for the time… “Shaemus sucks!” from the crowd. Neckbreaker, and pin, 2 count for Shaemus. “Let’s go Cena, Cena sucks” back and forth! Commercial Break. Shaemus beats on Cena, but Cena comes back… OH! Cena banged into the ring post! “Cena!” chants! Cena throwing punches…. Both men on the ground now..Shaemus hooks, kickout before two. Shaemus watching Cena get up, lands a blow to Cena’s chest. NXT’s been kryptonite according to Jerry Lawler. Shaemus wraps into the top rope and slams Cena with a punch. Cena’s getting up again! “Let’s go Cena, Cena sucks!” Back and forth… Cena’s pulling out of Shaemus’ grasp! Reverse head butt by Cena! Cena’s rocking then Shaemus clotheslines! Both men down! Attitude Adjustment stopped by Shaemus… two pins, two kickouts by Cena! Shaemus waiting for the opening, misses with the big boot! Cena just did a couple of shoulder blocks, then powerslam, then Five-knuckle-shuffle! Cena goes for the AA, Sheamus counters, covers, kicks out! Cena still surviving admirably. Cena locks in the FU! Shaemus trying to pull to the ropes! Shaemus gets to the topes… Cena rolls back. Shaemus falls out of the ring. Cena kicked into the stairs by Shaemus. Shaemus picks up Cena and throws him back in the ring. Shaemus goes for the pin and a kickout at two!!! Go Cena! Frustration growing by Shaemus. Shaemus pulls the stairs apart… and throws Cena into the steel steps! Shamus pulls Cena back to the ring, throws him in. Shaemus riles up…. Goes after a rising Cena! Kicks Cena in the head! NXT Rookies are running out! NXT assholes are beating on Cena, throwing him into the announce table. It appears McMahon doesn’t have much clout with these losers. McMahon calls the NXT guys into the ring. “Take a look at these extraordinary athletes!” McMahon did it all, he says. He wants a round of applause for himself. So, next week the GM of raw will reveal something. NXT rookies stare Vince down. Hmmm…. Please? NXT rookies…. “Daniel Bryan” chant… surround Vince. C’mon, do it you pussies! They all take down VINCE! YEAH! THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD MAKE ME ADD A + FOR THEM!
And the crowd is shouting for NXT!
Subway’s advertising a lot… may I suggest the Chicken-bacon-ranch. :D
-Ryder (what a dork, buy a new pantleg.)
=McMahon for naming a new GM and for being the final match’s ref. No real change.
+Natalya and Tamina (these girls know how to WRESTLE!)
-Edge for being a pussy.
-Miz (for retarded mic work)
+DHS and Tyson Kidd for standing up.
+Jericho for offering up his job!
+Bourne for putting up a hell of a fight.
-NXT for sucking all around (I don’t care what you think of Cena or Shaemus-even if I think Shaemus sucks. NXT rookie thoughts don’t mean –anything- to me.)
+NXT rookies for attacking Vince!
+Vince… for taking this kind of whoopin’ at his age. LOL
See you Friday!