LeBron James Will Know When to Retire: An Open Mic Exclusive with Wise LeBron

GA: The league disbanded…

WL: How’s that ol' Wise’s fault? That’s on them.

GA: So you’d still be available if the NBA came calling?

WL: Dad-gum straight, Four Eyes.

GA: LeBron’s been struggling with his supporting cast. Do you think you could dust off the Chuck Taylors and help bring a title to Cleveland?

WL: I worked out for their brass. I worked out for that Ferry…is his name Danny? He said not to call him, he would call me. I bought a cell phone so I could take that call. Should be anytime...

GA: What do you think about the guys that do retire—

WL: Soft, soft, soft.

GA: No, I…I didn’t finish the question. If a guy thinks he should retire, when should he do it?

WL: When he thinks it.

GA: No, I mean should he retire when he’s at the peak of his game? After he wins a title? After he attempts to defend a title? When his passion for the game is gone? When his skills regress? If he can’t decide to retire, retires anyway, changes his mind and demands an outright release or trade…when?

WL: Hey, Captain Earwax, CAN YOU HEAR ME? I said when he thinks it.

GA: You know, that’s great, I think we’re gonna go with that. When do you think LeBron James will retire?

WL: LeBron James will know when to retire.

GA: But how will he know when to retire?

WL: He’ll stop breathing.

GA: What do you think of Jackie Moon?

WL: That boy couldn’t sing or play basketball. Pure stinker.

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