Kane in a rewind. *sigh*
Seeing the credits makes me think of Beth Phoenix and it has me wishing she would come back and give LayCool a kissing fracture. GRR.
It’s on! SES… well, just Punk it seems? Where are his bodyguards? He’s jawing about being a four time heavyweight champion after F4W. We all flunked out of high school, don’t remember our last history lesson, and have killed our brain cells with booze, prescription drugs and blah, blah, blah…
He reminds us that he “made the Undertaker tap out”. (What a load of crap.) He says he didn’t do it, but the Undertaker hasn’t been in a vegetative state because of him, he’d take credit, and anyway, the WWE has been better w/out him. Lights out!
Lights up! Is it Undertaker in the ring? Hah. It’s Luke Gallows. Ha ha ha. Dorks. You just ticked off Kane. Jack Swagger from behind Kane, runs in, four way, no five way (masked SES member) beat down. Kane’s trying to find back. Four on one… I hate it that no one in the WWE can stand a fair fight. And there’s Rey Mysterio and Big Show! They cleared the ring! Mysterio 619’s Kane and Show chokeslams him… I’m kind of stunned by it. Show tells Kane he didn’t do anything to the Undertaker and that nothing is going to stop him from being the next Heavyweight Champion. Show’s music takes us out.
MVP (not a fan—if you wanna go “ballin’”, start playing basketball instead of wrestling). Seems like a decent enough guy though. And here comes Christian! I love Christian, I want to see him more! They’re teaming up against Hawkins and Archer (The Gate Crashers)…. *YAWN* Give these guys –good- matches. These two new morons don’t deserve to be in the ring with the likes of a former champion like Christian, or a growingly seasoned vet like MVP. Gate Crashers have already touched these vets too often. They should be lying in the middle of the ring, crying by now. I’m totally bored by this. I guess this is what I’m sick of… these new guys walking in and beating on the vets who have years of experience under their belts. If you can’t work your way up, and be happy with the climb, stay AWAY. Christian is in now and goes for a cover, gets hit out of it by Archer. Kill switch engaged, Vance Arc her kills it, and Hawkins goes top rope and takes out Christian, 123. BORING, STUPID, ANNOYING. Then they start beating on MVP (with a bad elbow) after the bell has rung. Hate just this kind of thing.
LayCool chit chatting like 15 years old. Rosa Mendez says she wants to be a part of LayCool. They say no in their own “short bus” kind of way. They tell her she needs a makeover and some training. Kaval (LayCool’s rookie) does not look happy.
Vicky and Chavo… she’s yawning. Ziggler comes out in a ridiculous short-shorts jeans outfit that she made him wear. She pushes Chavo away. Eh got a picture of herself and Ziggler to put up, asks him to do it… yuck. I’m throwing up a bit in the back of my mouth… pardon a moment. Ziggler’s got some kind of match coming up. She’s so icky.
JTG. *sigh* ZERO pop. Against Chavo. Whatever Another “who cares?” match. What is wrong with this show tonight! Only the opening was worth watching! Back and forth, blah, blah, blah. I mean, while they’re wrestling, the announcers are talking about how bad Vicky wants Ziggler. EXCUSE ME? Jeaousy is a WOMAN’S TRAIT, STRIKER!? He must not get laid enough. JTG calls some kids into the ring with him.
Switch over to Kofi. Talking about the match between Sunday’s match between he and McIntyre. He’s angry for Teddy! He’s going to keep his belt, he says.
I hate Drew McIntyre. The ultimate get-something –for-nothing, boring little jerk. A couple of rewinds.
I do –not- want to watch Teddy Long get his ass beat by Drew McIntyre. This is just a stupid, stupid story arc. I also hate that I really love McIntyre’s song… Here comes Teddy... well, his music anyway. Stop crying to daddy McMahon, McIntyre. Teddy’s coming out now… dressed in suit and tie, as he should be. Teddy’s just standing there. I feel bad for the guy, this is ridiculous. McIntyre is going to tear him apart after his private security force comes out. CRYBABY AGAIN! STUPID. Just called a lot of Teddy’s family unemployed!!!??? Why!? Because he’s black or because the job market sucks!? WTF!? He’s telling Teddy to get down on his knees. To get down or he’ll put him down. Teddy’s on his knees. This is fucking stupid and a waste of my time. *sigh* Teddy says Drew’s the chosen one. Teddy forced back onto his knees. Drew wants him to lay down on his back in the middle of the ring. You know, for his starving family? *eyeroll* Teddy is too old and not trained for this crap!!! Well Teddy’s laying there. At least Teddy’s not hurt, but Teddy looks broken. *sad* He tries to leave the ring, but Drew stops him. Drew grabs Teddy to hurt him, here comes Kofi! Stopped by Drew’s security force! Drew beating a held down Kingston. This is SUPID, WWE. Matt Hardy is here! Security is trying to get him off, but Hardy has some obvious fire in his belly… security holds Matt back while Drew beats on him, Drew throws him in the ring and nails Hardy with his finisher the Scot Drop, then does the same to Kofi.
I am really hating what they’re doing to my show. McIntyre is boring and stupid and annoying. He can’t even get a proper dose of heat from the crowd.
LayCool-bathroom break. I guess it’s LayCool v. Kelly Kelly. I don’t care. Kelly Kelly wins by pinfall.
*sigh* Interviewing Jack Swagger who can’t stop talking about his Daddy… and can’t even pull that off without making people annoyed.
Vicky comes out to some –serious- HEAT. She announces Ziggler between her patented “EXCUSE ME” screams. Knowing he’s probably nailing Vicky makes me a little sick. Chris Masters is the opponent. I’d like to see the Masterlock set in. Back and forth, Ziggler jumps up with both feet to kick Masters who catches him, and throws him into the turnbuckle. Masterlock almost in, Ziggler wiggles out. Sleeper hold by Ziggler. Masters powers out and goes into the masterlock!!! Ziggler gets to the ropes. Ziggler wins after going low, then high and pinning for the 3 count. Ziggler still looks like an idiot.
If I sigh anymore tonight I might pass out. Raw Rewind. AGAIN. NXT rookies and their stupid attack.
Rey Mysterio’s up! And here comes Big Show. Two big pops! And they’re facing … Punk and Swagger. At least these two are hated for a reason (Punk at least). Swagger is just being pushed in someone else’s place, I think… someone who had to bow out of a push because of injury? Hmm…
Well… Swagger and Mysterio in the ring. Swagger powering back into the corner, Punk tags, flips Rey, knocks him down. *laugh* “Ha ha!” from Rey as he flips out under Punk’s legs. Very cool. Mysterio goes for the mask! Luke Gallows interferes… of course. Mysterio gets a shot in by Swagger, gets Punk with a shot, and then Punk takes him down… two count. Swagger’s in. Swagger throws Rey across the ring. Swagger covers Mysterio, Rey kicks out. Rey starts pummeling Swagger! Oh! Swagger goes for a bomb, Mysterio counters! Show grabs Swagger and Swagger DDT’s Show! Mysterio from the top rope.. gutwrench power bomb countered and Mysterio takes down Swagger with it and wins it all!
Here comes KANE! :D This makes Lisa happy. Chokeslam Swagger. Punch to Show. Chokeslam Punk! Tombstone piledriver to Mysterio! Kane wants vengeance and goes to one knee to do Taker’s pose, facing the casket from far away. (Is this a setup for a Buried Alive match between Taker and Kane—after all, Kane’s the one who “found” him… hmm…)
P.S. I miss Taker and HBK fiercely.
Except Kane... and Kofi and Matt Hardy. They get little +'s.