World Cup Kitties: The Detroit Lions in a Soccer Switch

With World Cup fever hitting the United States like a calm summer's breeze, it seemed fitting that someone took America's favorite punchline and our favorite squad, the Detroit Lions, and put them on the soccer pitch.

It just makes sense.

The Lions newest superstar, Ndamukong Suh, got most of his athletic training at a young age playing soccer and still roots hard for the Cameroon Lions to this very day.

So what would the Detroit Lions look like as a soccer team?

Check it out...

Goalkeeper: Julian Peterson

Look, he's practicing his drop kick right now!

At 6'3", Peterson is the same height as American super goalie Tim Howard and shares a lot of the attributes which make Howard an All-Star for both the US National squad and Everton of the Premier League.

Peterson and Howard are both fearless and known for their toughness.

Both have the ability to play low to the ground but roam around when it is needed. Wherever they are on the field, Peterson and Howard have that quick twitch muscle ability to make quick decisions and movements.

With Julian Peterson in goal, the rest of this team might not have to do much.

Center Back: Ndamukong Suh

On the US soccer squad, Oguchi Onyewu mans this position and frankly, after the Slovenia game, Bob Bradley might want to call Suh up on North Korea's invisible phone.

In youth soccer, often a center back simply kicks whatever comes his way as hard as he can, but Suh is better than that.

Much like in international play, Suh would be able to mark any man who comes into his zone and bring the ball up to half field to set up the offense and set up strikes with long passes.

Most importantly, when this big man comes sliding around the penalty area, refs would leave their yellow cards where they belong, in their pockets.

Center Back: Louis Delmas

Taking the role of the second center back position, Louis Delmas steps in for American captain, Carlos Bocanegra.

With the types of instincts, the ability to see the whole field, and the ability to man up with his opponents, Delmas would be perfect next to Suh, keeping lanes open for the goalkeeper.

Right Back/Wing Back: Drew Stanton

Our first offensive football player makes an appearance on the defensive side of things.

For Stanton, that's probably OK, because at least he's getting to play!

Fullbacks in soccer have to provide defense (requiring tenacity and poise) but also assist in the offense, sending crosses up to the forwards or bringing the ball up while someone else runs free.

Perfect for Stanton, who was once injured playing special teams, but also was able to lob a touchdown pass in limited action for the Lions.

Left Back: DeAndre Levy

Since the Lions have manned one fullback position with an offensive threat, let's put a real stopper on the other.

Guarding the left defensive flank (or the opponent's right offensive flank) is important because right footed kickers can strike from just about anywhere on that side or send a dangerous pass toward net.

On the left side, Levy would have the speed to guard a larger area of the field and the strength to stick with even the strongest ball handlers.

Levy would probably pick up some yellow cards, so Zack Follett might need to come in on a substitution now and again.

Center Midfielder: Nate Burleson

A center midfielder doesn't need to be the fastest or the strongest guy on the pitch. He doesn't need to be a dazzling playmaker or wonderful goal scorer.

He just needs to do a little of all of that.

Much like US midfielder, Michael Bradley, Nate Burleson epitomizes the well rounded and hardworking nature of the position.

Burleson has the work ethic and the endurance to play box to box and the straight-line speed to get back on a defensive break or be the outlet for a quick offensive transition.

Most importantly, Burleson doesn't like to give up the ball and will be able to maintain position in the middle of the field.

Winger: Jahvid Best

Taking over for Landon Donovan, the new US representatives would want someone who has the same work ethic, tenacity, and speed.

Jahvid Best may never be football's equivalent of America's all-time best soccer player, but he fits in nicely for this scenario.

From midfield, no one would be able to mark Best as he is racing with the ball, either cutting out to deliver a deadly assist or cutting in to score, himself.

Attacking Midfielder: Calvin Johnson

Deco, Lampard, Kaka, Gerrard...often times, the attacking midfielder is both a fourth striker and a third midfielder.

The player needs to possess superior athleticism and often be one of the most, if not the most, talented player on the team.

For the US, that's Clint Dempsey.

On the Lions, that is Calvin Johnson.

Not only does Johnson have the ability to dazzle at a moment's notice, he has the height and jumping ability to put any cross or set piece into the back of the onion bag.

Strikers: Cliff Avril, Jonathan Wade, Tony Scheffler

An odd trio to say the least.

Bear with me.

Strikers on a soccer team need to be able to do one thing, and one thing well...score on a moment's notice.

Although Cliff Avril and Jonathan Wade aren't known for scoring, they are known for being quick, fast, and able to move well.

If you've seen the size of Avril's calf muscles, you know he's a good fit.

As for Scheffler, consider him Wayne Rooney on all kinds of steroids. Scheffler has the size and toughness to stay on his feet in the box, the speed to make breaks on any pass, and the height to give goal keepers fits.

The Bench

Matthew Stafford: Although he is the team's starting QB, he doesn't have the speed or endurance to play a full 90 minutes. But in crunch time, there would be no one better to bring off the bench for one last pass into the box. Now if only Beckham could help him with that hair.

Derrick Williams: Another small and versatile striker, the former running back and quarterback could play a number of positions on the soccer pitch and replace any offensive player in a pinch.

Kevin Smith: This attacking midfielder might start, except for the fact that he can never stay healthy for a full season. Still, when he's healthy he possesses a deadly array of talent and a very steady hand for his team.

Zack Follett: Need an opposing player taken care of?

Brandon Pettigrew: The backup goalkeeper has the size and wing span to shut out most of the goal without even moving, but he has the leaping ability to cover the rest on a tough angle shot.

That's the Team

Now go get Algeria!

USA! USA! USA!