2010 FIFA World Cup: The Perfect WAG
The World Cup is the greatest sporting event in the world. There are millions of fans from all over that have traveled to South Africa to watch the 2010 FIFA World Cup, including all the players' wives or girlfriends, otherwise known as WAG's.
In honor of this fantastic event, I have constructed an female form that every soccer fan would love to see, the Perfect World Cup WAG. This Perfect WAG has been built from the ground up using only soccer WAG's body parts.
Now, some of the women on this list might not have traveled to see their mates, either because they are no longer together or because they are dating someone who plays for England, but that has not stopped me from using their body parts.
Enough talking—it is now time to reveal the Perfect World Cup WAG.
Hair: Michelle Marsh
Michelle Marsh has been in everything from Playboy to Maxim. She is a glamour model in England and is currently married to Will Haining of the Morecambe Football Club.
She has beautiful long blonde hair that makes every other WAG jealous.
Is anyone else tempted to pull the strings?
Eyes: Lorena Bernal
Lorena Bernal is a former Miss Spain and is married to Mikel Arteta of Everton. She has the most beautiful eyes of any WAG on the list.
From the moment I found this picture, I knew those eyes would be featured in the Perfect World Cup WAG.
Nose: Federica Ridolfi
This perfect World Cup WAG would not be complete without the most important feature on the face: the nose.
Who better than Federica Ridolfi, currently engaged to Giuliano Giannichedda, to supply us with that feature?
If the nose doesn't work out, we could always use something else from Frederica.
Smile: Edita Hortová
If you noticed the cactus, you should probably have your eyesight checked.
Edita Hortova is the ex-girlfriend of Milan Baros, also known as the luckiest man alive. She was Miss Europe in 2005 and was also recently voted Hottest Female Standing Between Two Cacti.
Jawbone: Eva Gonzalez
Angelina Jolie saw this picture and immediately became jealous. Eva Gonzalez has a perfect jawbone. It completes her face— and the Perfect World Cup WAG face, too.
If this was a list of the hottest faces of soccer WAGs, Eva, linked to Iker Casillas, would win without question. She has perfect bone structure—I have no idea what that means, but she does.
Neck: Bianca Kajlich
Most people know Bianca Kajlich from her television show, Rules of Engagement. But the soccer world knows her as Landon Donovan's wife.
Bianca has a beautiful neck, even though that is a weird thing to say. Her neck is so hot, it is already being cast in the next Twilight film this summer.
Shoulders: Alena Seredova
It does not matter what body part I use of Alena Seredova, Gianluigi Buffon's girlfriend—I was just looking for a reason to use her.
Alena is a former beauty queen, one of many on this list, from the Czech Republic. Instead of wasting your time with words, I will give you more Alena.
Arms: Abigail Clancy
I originally wanted to use all of Abigail Clancy's body parts but, when I began constructing the Perfect World Cup WAG, I realized it would make this piece one-dimensional. So instead, I will use her perfect arms.
Abigail is engaged to Peter Crouch, a 6'7" beanpole from England. How did he get her? I have no idea, but I can promise you that he will not let her slip through his grasp anytime soon.
Chest: Gemma Atkinson
Do I even have to explain this choice?
Stomach: Martina Colombari
Martina Colombari is the wife of former AC Milan defender Alessandro Costacurta.
Her body is ridiculous. It almost looks fake in some of her pictures because it is so perfect. She is easier on the eyes than Visine.
Butt (tie): Zaira Nara
Sometimes words are just not enough.
Diego Forlan, you are one lucky man.
Butt (tie): Oskana Andersson
I had no choice but to have two butts for the perfect female soccer WAG. This is not some kind of crazy alien; it is a combination of two of the best behinds you will find.
Everyone can thank Christian Wilhelmsson of Sweden for adding Oskana to the WAG list.
Legs: Giorgia Palmas
In the words of ZZ Top, "She's got legs!"
Giorgia Palmas, girlfriend of Davide Bombardini, takes the word "legs" to a whole new level. The best part about her legs? If you miss the first one, another one is following right behind it.
Calves: Ilary Blasi
What female body would be perfect without a great set of calves? The calves are the part of the legs that help make the form take shape.
Ilary Blasi, married to Francesco Totti, is a super sexy Italian actress and model. She has a few good things going for her. One of them I have to show you, because words cannot explain.
Feet: Aida Yespica
Aida Yespica, Matteo Farreri's girl, is smoking hot. I almost bought two plane tickets to Venezuela, her homeland and the same country that produces hotties on a daily basis, to hopefully bump into someone as hot as her.
She makes the word "wow" an understatement.
Skin: Sylvie Van Der Vaart
Sylvie van der Vaart, Rafael van der Vaart's wife, brings this whole WAG together with her beautiful skin.
Sylvie is the hottest thing to come out of Holland since wooden shoes. Rafael obviously agrees with this. One time, during a match, he intentionally got booked so that he could leave and spend time with Sylvie. No one blames him, either.