Once again, I’ve attempted to maintain the highest of standards for your viewing pleasure. If you don’t see your favorite girl, please feel free to mention her name in the comments section below.
In some cases, I may not have included her because she wasn’t hot enough (I set the bar very high). But I also stopped searching once I got to 11 because I have better things to do than surf the internet for babes all day long.
OK, maybe I don’t.
Given the subject matter, it’s only fitting that I start with Miss USA.
Ironically, Rima was born in Lebanon—not the United States. As an Arab and Muslim, she’s the first person of her nationality, ethnicity, or religion to be named Miss USA.
Now, that’s a Jihad I can get behind, if you catch my drift.
My ex-girlfriend went to grade school with Jessica and told me that the kids picked on her.
I bet all those kids are kicking themselves now.
I think this is a paparazzi shot. Who said they don’t contribute anything good to the world?
I beg to differ.
J-Lo started out as a Fly Girl on one of my favorite sketch comedy shows of all time, “In Living Color,” which also launched the careers of Jim Carey, David Alan Grier, and the Wayans brothers.
She may be Puerto Rican, but she was born in the Bronx and made her fortune in the American media, so she’s fair game for our purposes.
Eva is a WAG; her husband just doesn’t play football. And he plays for France, not USA.
But this desperate housewife made our list on her own merits.
Can you say yummy?
One thing you’ve gotta love about doing a piece like this (pun intended) is discovering a new babe.
And Persian girls are sexy.
Salomé is originally from Iran, but lives in Belgium, where she met USA centre-back Oguchi Onyewu. I don’t think the two of them are together anymore, but who cares?
She is no longer with Landon Donovan, and I don’t think she’s quite up to par with her fellow selections, but what the hell?
This is a WAG piece after all, and someone in cyberspace is sure to be outraged by her omission.
Please note that while this is a sexy picture of her, the other ones I saw online were not nearly as flattering.
But Jamie’s on this list because she’s Sacha Kljestan’s girlfriend. Sacha didn’t make USA’s final World Cup roster, but as a Chivas USA fan, I’m giving him some love.
I take that back. I’m giving it to Jamie.
I read something a while back about how a person’s name shapes their personality.
For instance, name a kid Eugene and chances are, he’s unlikely to be a hit with the ladies when he grows up.
It must be true, because Megan is a fox.
Plain vanilla is great when it comes to ice cream, but it’s not nearly as tasty when it comes to women. Beyoncé is a fine example why. And she can sing, which makes her even sexier.
Jay-Z is one lucky man.
Given my standards, some may question this selection, but my fiancée has a thing for her.
Any girl who can drive a car the way Danica does is hot in my book.
This one’s for you, Sunshine!
I’ve saved the best for last.
I understand why some people (my buddy Jeff, for instance) don’t find Angelina attractive.
She’s definitely not pretty in the classic sense, but she oozes sexuality. Not to mention, her tattoos up her bad girl appeal, she’s a philanthropist, and bi-sexual.
What more could a guy ask for?
There’s also the "DSL" factor and I’m not referring to my internet connection.