This feature, which I anticipate becoming a weekly installment in the fall, will chronicle the people and stories who are no longer welcome in this space.
I am not saying that these people are not great, but rather that their stories have been told so many times, and talked about so much by pundits, blogs, etc., that I will not write about them until there are substantial new developments.
In other words, these are stories from which we need to move on.
So here is the initial top five non grata—sorry gentlemen, you are asked to leave with all due haste.
1) Tim Tebow
I know he's great. Everybody knows he's great. And it's not that he is a sophomore Heisman winner, or that he plays quarterback like a defensive end, or even that he takes care of tiny orphan babies in third world countries. But the two-year Tebow media blitz makes Barack Obama look undersaturated.
- B/R Ticket Guide
Mr. Tebow, you are no longer welcome here.
2) Les Miles' cojones
Okay, so he makes some gutsy decisions. Okay, so they worked out. That story is so last year. Yes, he shoots off at the mouth sometime, but we discussed this ad nauseam last year. Unless he blows up like Mount St. Helens this year, we are not going to talk about his personality.
Mr. Miles and his two companions are now non gratae.
3) Nick Saban
Yes, he used to coach at LSU. Yes, he probably has Bama on the right road to contender status. Yes, he is process-oriented. Yes, we know he showed up at SEC media days with two bodyguards, so yes, he is a big deal.
But he is not welcome here until he or his team does something noteworthy and new.
4) Ryan Perrilloux
He's off the team, and yes, it probably hurts LSU's offense. Yes, he was involved in several off the field incidents, and yes, he had otherworldly talent. Yes, he once claimed his goal for his time at LSU was to win four Heismans.
Sorry, Mr. Presumptive Jacksonville State starting QB—you are not permitted here.
5) Bobby Petrino leaving the Falcons
Okay, so his eyes have all the life of Jeffrey Dahmer. Okay, so he left the Falcons with games left on the schedule. Sure, he appears to be the new poster child for mercenary coaches. He hasn't coached one Arkansas game yet, and we won't discuss him until he does that. And even then, we might not.
Mr. Petrino, you may apply for reinstatement after the first of September, and not before then under any circumstances.
comments (12) write a comment »
write a new comment
4 months ago
nice read. that would be a great running column during the season. good luck with it.
4 months ago
huh? didn't you just write about the 5 people you don't want to hear about???
talk about a self fufilling prophecy. look, here's a blog about 5 people who get mentioned too much!!
4 months ago
Good article. I personally hate the Gators but I like Tebow. If he can win another National Championship and maybe another Heisman he would go down as perhaps the greatest college football player of all time.
from 4 months ago
Agreed. I think Tebow may be the SEC's best football player since Herschel Walker. But I can't turn on any show or read any article about the SEC without seeing his face on it, or hearing about him. So I don't want to talk about him until he does something new on the football field.
4 months ago
isn't cohones spelled with a "j"?
from 4 months ago
According to Urban Dictionary, it can be spelled with either an h or a j.
4 months ago
Sounds like you don't want any ideas from anyone that speaks of things you aren't interested in.
4 months ago
Can we comment on this article? Writing a whole article on things you don't want to talk about seems counter-productive.
4 months ago
I think some are missing the point. This was really a commentary on how some stories have been overdone. Namely, these. Feel free to disagree or add to the list.
from 4 months ago
These stories are overdone for different reasons. Tebow gets attention for all the right reasons. He was the best player in the country last year and he has a heart of gold. Les Miles gets attention for the right reasons, too. He does what many coaches are afraid to do by going for it on 4th down and taking other gambles.
Perrilloux, Saban, and Petrino are all scumbags. Perrilloux had the keys to a national championship contender handed to him and f***ed it up. Saban and Petrino are both decent coaches but they both are two-faced and I firmly believe that karma will catch up to them. Petrino will struggle at Arkansas more than most people are predicting and Saban will never win another national title.
4 months ago
Agreed. Tebow is a great role model, player and apparently, person. Still sick of hearing the same things about him, though.
2 months ago
Love the article...very witty, and very well said!
write a new comment