WWE Fatal 4-Way: CM Punk and 25 More of WWE's Ridiculous Costumes
At WWE's Over the Limit pay-per-view, Rey Mysterio defeated CM Punk in a double-stipulation match. If CM Punk had beat Mysterio, the master of the 6-1-9 would have been forced to join Punk's Straight Edge Society.
However, Punk failed to get the victory and lost his hair as a result. Punk's hair was considered a "symbol of purity" for the cultish SES.
Rather than face the humiliation of being seen bald by a hostile WWE universe, Punk donned a completely ridiculous looking mask (shown in the caption above - credit to BR reporter Johnathon Gustin).
The Straight Edge messiah should not fret though. He is not the only WWE superstar to wear something ridiculous. In fact, his mask is pretty stylish when compared to some of the more memorable costumes of WWE superstars past.
So without further ado, here is a list of the good, the bad, the ugly, and the simply hideous costumes of World Wrestling Entertainment.
Shawn Michaels (pre-1997)
Even before he led DX, Shawn Michaels had a knack for flamboyance. When Michaels led the group of degenerates, he actually toned down his dress.
Before 1997, his tight leather outfits and buoyant sexuality did not sit well with many blue-collar fans.
As a result, the older generation turned against him in the same manner that they have turned against John Cena today. He reached the height of his popularity which he turned down the feminine and turned up the cool.
Good idea: Having Booker T win King of the Ring.
Bad idea: Having him walk around with a crown and scepter.
Following Booker T's King of the Ring victory in 2006, he changed his persona to that of "King Booker." King Booker was your stereotypical king, who dressed the part and demanded loyalty from his subjects.
Other than a few mid-card heels and his wife Queen Sharmell, few took his reign seriously.
A blatant ripoff of Papa Shango, the monster from the bottomless pit managed to scare a lot of heels during his short tenure in the WWE.
If the face paint, the clock, and the staff didn't creep you out, the fact that this guy ate live worms certainly did.
Speaking of The Boogeyman, don't forget about his favorite victim, the Richard Simmons look-alike.
Simon Dean dressed up in a purple jumpsuit and liked to distribute copies of his workout tapes. The fitness instructor's tenure was short and unmemorable, but at least he helped keep the WWE universe in shape.
Santino's "twin sister" made her debut at Wrestlemania 25, winning the Ms. Wrestlemania pageant. There is not much to say about "her" dress except that the WWE universe hopes to never see it again.
Marginally nicer to look at Santina Marella. Actually, not really.
The dress helped the insecure Vito break his losing streak and rise to dominance. That dominance pretty much leveled off at the mid-card level due to the fact that he was... well... wearing a dress.
So to recap, we've had a man pretending to be a woman, a man wearing women's clothes, and now we have, Goooolllldust.
The son of the American Dream is actually one of the most successful mid-card wrestlers in WWE history. His bizarre get-up and antics have led him to win the Intercontinental championship. The sexual undertones of the character have been removed in the PG era, but the custom remains the same.
A little person named Dylan Postl dressed up as a leprechaun and has become one of the most controversial superstars in WWE history.
Fun fact: Most little people do not dress in green, wear funny hats, and talk like a mentally challenged children. But hey, WWE is PG, not PC.
Be careful about calling Irwin R. Schyster's costume ridiculous. The tax man has some muscle underneath that geeky white dress shirt.
Charles Wright went through various unsuccessful gimmicks in the WWE before he became "The Godfather."
Okay, so he was a fairly big pimp at 6'7" and no one will call him ridiculous to his face. However, when he became "The Goodfather" in Steven Richard's Right to Censor stable, he crossed the line from ridiculous to absurd.
The Blue Blazer
Owen should not have been saddled with this costume or this gimmick.. It was not worthy of a man of his talents.
Owen showed himself to be a real company man by putting up with it. By 1999, he should have been in the upper-mid-card or main event. This costume was ridiculous, but could also fall under the category of "outrageous."
This is another one of those gimmicks that proved incredibly controversial.
So what makes dressing as a stereotypical Muslim Arab ridiculous?
The fact that the guy is half-Italian. WWE if you were going to do a storyline about terrorism and racism, don't make a guy from Syracuse, NY play dress-up.
The whole gimmick was completely ridiculous, but just look at the guy. Is that a costume, ring-attire, or what?
Big Show as a Sumo Wrestler
In a Wrestlemania showdown, Big Show faced off against American sumo wrestler Akebono.
The whole concept was a waste of time, but the people who watched the event live or on pay-per-view will never get that horrible image of Big Show in a diaper out of their head.
Chavo Guerrero one day decided that his Latino heritage was holding him back. So he does what any normal wrestler would do: becomes a blond stereotypical middle class American with golf clubs. It is not at all ridiculous coming from wrestling royalty, right?
In another one of those "what the heck is this" gimmicks, Fred Ottman dresses up as a sailor of a boat.
There was not much else to his persona He did not have much success in the WWE, or in WCW. Read about the "Shockmaster Incident" online. Not all of the details can be repeated here
Montel Vontavious Porter
When Teddy Long signed MVP to "the largest free agent contract in SmackDown history," he thought he was getting a wrestler that would dominate the WWE universe. Instead, he got a guy who looked like a 21st century Power Ranger and jobbed to the Undertaker.
Jim is a Hillbilly.
Again, no real success with the costume or the gimmick, but it could be argued that he spawned other legendary gimmicks like "Cade & Murdoch" and "Jimmy Wang Yang."
At least they wore nicer hats.
The most ridiculous thing about Brother Love's appearance is that his face was even redder than his obnoxious red dress shirt.
Speaking of Love, Mick Foley's weakest alter-ego personified it. Foley debuted in the WWE as a hippie, winning the tag team titles with Steve Austin. He failed to achieve much other success as the Dude.
Still, the Dude complimented Mankind and Cactus Jack.
This should hit close to home for Punk. After Hulk Hogan was "fired," the mysterious masked "Mr. America" made his debut on WWE TV.
For months, Vince McMahon tried to prove the wrestler was Hulk Hogan. The storyline was short lived and the costume, ridiculous.
Ah, the vampire. The crazy-haired, former brood leader had fangs protruding from his mouth and blood dripping down his face.
He had a fairly successful run in the late 2000s. His biggest legacy was leading a young Edge and Christian, but hardcore fans still vaguely remember the old Edward Cullen.
Doink the Clown
Of course, you were waiting for this one. There have supposedly been a couple of people to don the Doink costume. In fact, there was at one point a Doink vs. Doink match.
Even Chris Jericho got in on the action, attacking William Regal while wearing the costume in 2001. The best part about a costume so ridiculous is that it will still be funny regardless of who wears it.
The Goobledy Gooker
"It" hatched from an egg. No further explanation necessary.
So what is the most ridiculous costume of all?
Think about it. Really think about it. Some guy named Mark Calaway dresses up in a silly costume, pretending to be the Lord of Darkness. The character rolls his eyes in back of his head and tells people to "Rest In Peace."
He becomes the greatest superstar in WWE history. That, is the definition of ridiculous.