SMACK DOWN! Let’s go!
KANE REWIND. He’s awesome. But I hate rewinds.
Rey Mysterio vs. Jack Swagger! After looking more shocked than anybody after taking Kane out at the Battle Royal, here comes Mysterio, worshipped by all the little kids (I have one) that wear his mask. Rey says hello to Tampa before cutting his promo pronouncing that his win at F4W will be not –his- world title, but –our- world title.
And then comes Jack Swagger. BLEH! He accuses Rey of capitalizing on the misfortune of others. *LOL* Who thinks people buy this? SHUT UP.
Rey says that all that higher education must have gone to waste, because everything Swagger just said was… stupid. And makes fun of Swagger’s lack of mic skills (I tought I taw a putty tat!). Rey says only one 619 will be necessary to take Swagger out.
CM Punk comes out. Oh GOD. Yes, Malcom X, JFK and CM Punk are all in the same category somehow. *cough*BS*cough* Where does he pull this get this ego!? So Punk has shown up to babble. Again. And I’m sick of it. SHUT UP. He makes fun of Swagger’s lisp as well.
Mysterio says the whole WWE and he are tired of Punk running his mouth. Punk jabbers… Big Show comes out. Big smile! Big Show says he’s going to beat all of them up at F4W and walk out Champion. He offers to pull the mask off Punk. Punk offers to pull of Show’s face (ha ha ha ha).
Kane from backstage, vowing to find out who took his brother out… he’s got a casket waiting for them. “There will be vengeance!!!!” I keep expecting him to say “There will be blood!” Darn PG. ;)
Swagger and Mysterio are up.
Swagger rolls around with Mysterio a bit, Rey slides out of the ring. Body slam by Swagger. Striker keeps singing Swagger’s accolades. Ugh. Puke. Rey kicks back with solid momentum. A couple of big punches by Swagger. A few kicks on Rey in the corner by Swagger. Crowd shouting “619”. Mysterio jumps up and covers for 2. Rey takes down and 619’s Swagger and then nails Swagger with a finisher off the top rope! But Swagger kicks out. *groan*
Rey gets thrown out of the ring by Swagger. Swagger smashes Rey into the apron and hits him in the back of the head from down on the floor. Swagger gets Rey back in the ring. He gets Rey in a figure four and then flips him over to grind his face in the mat. Swagger clothesline’s Mysterio, two count. Swagger is as boring as always… ‘slowing things down to his speed’ as Striker says (the speed of the short bus). Swagger climbs up to the top rope and yanks Rey down to the mat, covers, but Rey kicks out! Swagger pulls Mysterio tightly around the pole, straining him against it. Figure four again. Rey beats out of it and kicks his boots up into Swaggers face. Swagger runs into the turnbuckle. Mysterio gets flipped up and hung up in the top rope, upside down! Swagger runs in for a spear, but Rey jumps up and Swagger spears the pole. Rey puts Swagger down, 619’s him to the stomach, does it again to Swagger’s head! Third 619 of the night! REY MYSTERIO WINS IT!
Here comes Kane!
Kane chokeslams Swagger AND Mysterio! They lay flat-out in the ring. Kane is scarier and scarier. YAY!
LayCool. *sigh* Followed by poor Kaval. I feel bad for this guy. They’re treating him like a servant. Yeah, they’re no older than 15 mentally. “Famous Flawless Makeover”. *sigh* Die, die die!
Kelly Kelly and Tiffany come to the ring… It’s Tiffany v. Layla. *YAWN* Layla comes out strong, Tiffany smacks her hard enough to rattle –my- teeth. Tiffany flips over into a pin, Layla kicks out, rolls Tiffany over for the three count. More 15 year old antics. Kaval looks almost as ill as I feel.
*sigh* A rewind… from Monday night. They’re rewinding the whole damn fiasco! I guess that’s 15 minutes of tv time they won’t have to cover. GRR. (P.S. Why didn’t Punk run for it when he had the chance that night?) You have time to hit the restroom, walk your dog, make a meal, and throw in a load of laundry, and when you come back, this rewind will STILL be on! The lockeroom is clamoring according to Striker, over these NXT morons.
Christian comes out to a good pop… not huge, but good. Vicky Guerrero presents Dolph Ziggler, and it makes me feel dirty. If Striker really wants to get that ‘Cougar’, Vicky, then… *shiver* I now know that he’s a –complete- moron and that he’s also about 75% blind in both eyes… or he’s drunk. Christian throws Ziggler out. Match turns quickly, Ziggler taking over. Covers for two here and there. Ziggler punching on Christian. Ziggler nails Christian from behind. Christian strikes back! Christian bitch-slaps Ziggler! Christian with a missle-drop kick to Ziggler’s chin… two count. Vicky won’t shut up, as usual, ringside. More slaps from Christian. Christian covers, Ziggler rolls over him, two count. Ziggler runs into the turnbuckle and Christian hits him with a pendulum kick. Flying uppercut… killswitch engaged, sleeper hold, Christian counters, three count—CHRISTIAN WINS!
The Gatecrashers come in… and beat on Christian. *yawn*
Ziggler picks up Christian and puts him in the sleeper hold. Christian sleeps. Vicky applauds her boytoy. They… hug. I’m going to throw up.
Kane is backstage, putting black flowers on a casket. Kane misses his bro. “My soul is tortured.” The big gimmick is back!
*sigh* Drew McIntyre. It’s really too bad, I like his song. A fan sign said it all “Drew stop crying to Vince!” He calls out Teddy Long. McIntyre needs someone to slug him in the mouth hard enough to make it swell shut. He should –not- feel comfortable talking to the GM of SD that way! Screw you, Vince! Rewinds… blah, blah, blah. So McIntyre got Hardy removed from all WWE programming. He’s stepping up on Teddy! WOAH! YAY KOFI! We’re all sick of you, McIntyre… I agree with him! Kofi tells him to shut up on behalf of all of us. YES. Kofi and McIntyre beating on each other until Trouble in Paradise sends McIntyre flying out of the ring! Yay!
Show v. CM Punk. Next!
Back… and McIntyre is forcing Teddy to make a match between McIntyre and Teddy himself. Per McMahon, if he doesn’t show up, he’s fired. JEEZ. I freakin’ hate this whiney crybaby! I hope Teddy can find some kind of loophole… this is BS.
Show’s coming out now, clapping those big hands and giving that kickass smile! Big pop! Punk enters, masked and with his ghouls Serena and Luke. Show laughs at them all. Punk hits Show in the chest a few times, and Show knocks his butt back into the middle of the ring. Punk wraps himself up in the ring to keep Show away. A few kicks seem to hurt Big Show a bit… Punk on top rope, Show laughs and threatens the big right hand, Punk hops down to confer with his cronies. SES heads together.
Punk gets smacked around, punched. Another big smack to the chest. Ouch! They walk across the ring, more Show. Crowd tries to get Show to get that mask off!
Chokeslam? No! He’s going to take the mask off! Big Show attacked by two SES members… Serena kicks Show. KANE! Chokeslams two of the SES members, Gallows and the masked man. Show? KANE CHOKESLAMS SHOW!!!
Good enough show… kept my reality switch shut off for a time.
So let’s see…
+Kane… it’s awesome to see him back as a solid presence!
See ya Friday night or Saturday morning, all!