USC Sanctions: Kiffin, Carroll, & 10 Regrettable Texts From Last Night

Talk about rough timing.

Of all nights to have to travel up to San Francisco to speak in front of boosters.

USC football had just been banned from postseason competition for two years, docked 10 scholarships annually from 2011-13, and stripped of every win that Reggie Bush contributed to while ineligible.

So not only does Lane Kiffin have to fill Pete Carroll's shoes, now he has to wear them while cleaning up the mess his predecessor left behind when he bolted for Seattle and the NFL.

You can hardly blame Kiffin for having one too many in the Bay Area, then busting out the iPhone, or Droid, or Blackberry. Whatever.

Things were said... or thumbed. And what's done is done.

Here's a recap.

(403) To Pete Carroll

"Dude, do the words 'secondary violation' mean anything to you? Talk about the mentor needing to take a lesson from the pupil."

(907) To Tennessee Fans Feeling Vindicated

"Keep bumping your gums. Just wait a couple years for the NCAA to find the burning paper bag I left in your back yard."

(122) To Monte Kiffin

"Dad, you are still planning to be here in three years when this ban is lifted, right?"

(541) To Athletic Director Mike Garrett

"Now that you've burned this mansion to the ground, why don't you get the Fight-On-Out."

*Image courtesy espn.com

(349) To Reggie Bush

"I still can't believe this came back to bite us. And by us, of course I mean... ME! That oil spill in the Gulf has nothing on you, Slick."

(972) Pete Carroll Follow Up

"Win Forever? If by Forever, you mean until the NFL comes calling and the NCAA is ready to punt USC and pin this program inside the five yard line."

(385) To Wife Layla Kiffin

"How much did you say Maxim was willing to give you for the centerfold?"

*Image courtesy BehindBlondiePark.com

(032) To Al Davis

"It could be worse. I could be you... Or that waste-of-space JaMarcus Russell."

P.S. "Told you so."

(333) To Seantrel Henderson

"Good luck to you in the Big Ten... or whatever the hell they're going to call it."

*Image courtesy umvarsityblue.com

(058) To Pete Carroll, Again

"Sorry about those texts earlier. That wasn't me. I mean, Jim Harbaugh got ahold of my cell phone... I mean, what I was really trying to say was, 'Whenever you need a new assistant coach in the Pacific Northwest, I'm ready.' "