Let's just start, shall we?
Kane. I love Kane. I think he's an awesome dude all around. He's smart, he's dedicated to the company, and he is a damn decent wrestler for his size. He doesn't have that slow plodding walk that people like Show and Khali have. Kane announces that Taker has been found in a 'vegetative state'. The guy puts up a really great performance, and in the end, I was damned impressed. It was much better than "See No Evil" (his WWE movie, which we can't really blame him for, it was an atrocious script). Kane's one of the biggest jobbers in the company, and I've heard elsewhere that he doesn't mind, that he doesn't want another push, and likes working with the new guys.
Well that bums me out. I want to see Kane in action, not a Kane who never goes for the title shot. He's plays a great part for the roster, and I'd just like to see him win a new title run... for what belt, I don't care: though anything that takes Swagger out would make me very happy.
I'm not so hot on this being the Undertaker's sendoff, but I did hear that in his last match with Mysterio, he suffered a broken nose and a broken orbital socket. (Ouch!) Being the amazing performer that he is, he went on with that match to the finsih, which is AMAZING if stop to think about the things 'we' bitch about at work (that damned printer is -always- busy!" So while he's the consumate professional, I can understand why they had to do a send off that they were probably not totaly pleased with either.
At this point, I'm yellin "Go Kane"! But I think my pleas will fall on deaf ears.
Jack Swagger beats MVP. Who cares? You don't either? Oh good, I'll just go on then.
After the Swagger/MVP match, the "Dudebusters" (what an unfortunate name), appeared in the ring to give the already beaten MVP another beat down. Wow. It took the both of you to beat up an already exhausted and beaten up MVP? Please get off my TV. Your look is stupid (it reminds me of something I might have seen out of New Jersey in the 80's) Thank you! Moving on once more...
Battle Royale is announced for everyone on SD's roster. The winer will take Taker's place at F4W. This could be good or bad...
Kofi keeps his Intercontinental Title against Drew (Crybaby) McIntyer. The match was okay, I guess, nothing to write home about, until it was spiced up by Matt Hardy, showing up with a ticket to the show to sit near the announcer's table. Drew walks over and smacks Matt, and security holds Matt back. Kofi takes advantage (good call!) and gives Drew a little Trouble in Paradise, ending the match. Matt breaks free, runs for the ring, and BOOM, Twist of Fate on McIntyer, and Hardy takes off.
Kelly Kelly and Rosa Mendez are the next match. *blank stare* If I want to watch two women beat on each other, each of whom have the bodies of thirteen year old boys with breast implants, then I'll turn on Bravo and see if I can get a glimpse of some models fighting to the death over a cosmetics contract. *YAWN* I -dont- care. LayCool comes out after Kelly Kelly wins it, and man... I wish those two would get burned at the stake as they deserve.
The 15year old bff's that they're playing are stupid, boring, and play to the lowest common denominator--and people that don't watch the show (in general), 15 year old girls. Let's see, they've come up with "Piggie James" (something that sent me on a rampage that almost made this one more house that won't watch the WWE anymore (I only calmed down when I read that Mickie agreed to it beforehand and that she agreed that it was a sad thing that girls have to worry about their bodies all the time (not an exact quote!). I took a deep breath and kept on with my shows... then they started calling Beth Phoenix a man... she's gorgeous. Yes, she's built, but she looks nothing like say... Chyna did. She has very soft features and is a very "pretty" woman. Then came the time that they started calling Vicky a cougar. #1. A cougar's supposed to be hot, not your average looking woman who probably drives around in sweatpants as she picks her kids up from soccer practice (nevermind the annoying voice and constant shrieking). #2. Someone has to want to *ahem* WANT them physically. People who pretend to do this all seem to end up saying the same things... "that was the most disgusting thing I've ever done in my life." And now we've moved on to Smelly Kelly. *eyeroll to the extreme* I don't mind heels, some of them are my favorite wrestlers, but these women aren't heels, they're bad stereotypes of teenagers, and I watched enough of those when I was in High School.
Once again, the Diva's match is WORTHLESS.
Competitors: Kane, Chris Masters, Dolph Ziggler, The Dudebusters, Chavo Guerrero, Drew McIntyre, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, Christian, Luke Gallows, Curt Hawkins and Vance Archer, MVP, and Finlay (yay! Good to see him out there!). Oh, and JTG.
Drew McIntyre waits outside the ring until the bell is rung.
Mysterio (who slides out of the ring, under the bottom rope, so he isn't counted out) and Punk (who is waiting for his... ahem.. follower) battle a bit outside the ring. Then Gallows and Mysterio duke it out a bit outside the ring. Rey gets back in after slamming Gallows' head on the crowd barricae. Punk and Serena run off like simpering little cowards.
1st: One of the Dudebusters... don't ask me which one because I don't care.
2nd: Chris Masters.
3rd: The other Dudebuster.
5th and 6th: Drew McIntyre and Kofi Kingston go out almost simultaneously.
7th: Dolph Ziggler
10th: Vance Archer
13th: Curt Hawkins
FINAL 3! (Someone from the SES jumps up to kick Kane in the head then run off. Comes back to try to interfere againk, but Kane just tosses him/her aside.)
14th: Luke Gallows
16th and WINNER: Rey Mysterio.
Not a bad battle boys! I would have liked to see Kane win this one, it would give him the push I think he deserves, but I don't know how anyone could be pissed that Rey won it all. I actually think his height is an advantage at these things, because when he's thrown over the top rope, standing straight up, he'll always land on the apron, holding that top rope. It's the perfect landing spot for his height.
I don't think there was alot going on in the way of giving pushes to players save Kane, but there were a few minor adjustments.
+ Rey Mysterio
- Dudebusters (I STILL DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE AND DON'T CARE.)
- LayCool (Truly, it's old)
+ Matt Hardy
- Drew McIntyre
Anyway, that's about it for Smack Down!
See you Monday night or Tuesday Morning!
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