The Worst NBA Free Agent Rumors: LeBron James & Dwyane Wade A Bad Pair?
With the NBA’s free agency period set to begin on July 1, fans are becoming giddy over what could be the most monumental offseason in recent memory.
I haven’t seen this many people ignore the NBA Finals (http://bit.ly/bYLPxk) since the Cavs and Spurs played in 2007.
To be fair, that series was as fun as waterboarding, so people had an excuse.
But with this kind of free agent crop, people should be excited. There are normally only a few big names available each summer, but this year’s plethora of players could give the league an entirely different face come this fall.
Hopefully, that face looks nothing like Heidi Montag.
Since some of the free agents are planning on having their own version of the G8 Summit (http://bit.ly/cV928p), I can guarantee their will be some poor decisions made in this offseason.
If I had a nickel for every time someone in their 20s made a stupid decision with money involved, I would buy the Yankees.
Just to destroy them.
So here are not only the top five free agents, but also the worst possible decisions for each of them. I will only be including choices that people have proposed for each free agent, not every team in the NBA.
Otherwise, every answer would be the same: the Clippers.
#5 - Joe Johnson to the Knicks
The Knicks have been building cap space to acquire one or two of the big time free agents. They want someone who can lead their team back to the promised land.
Too bad JoJo isn’t him.
Johnson folded in the Eastern Conference Semifinals this year. He has shown up in the spotlight as often as a lunar eclipse.
When you are letting Vince Carter lock you down, you know you are having problems.
While this deal would be bad for both sides, the odds of it happening are surprisingly high. The Hawks star has many connections with New York and has praised the city before. The Knicks are known for bad management, so choosing a #2 player to be your #1 seems like a logical choice.
A match made in heaven! Like Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.
Um, no. Wrong.
So he plans to leave Atlanta, who is a big man away from serious Eastern Conference contention, for New York, who’s 2010-2011 roster outside of the two max deals would have more scrubs than NBC?
What sound logic!
Money’s good, but Johnson wants a chance at a title. Like any other player.
Except those who sign with the Chicago Cubs.
#4 - Amar'e Stoudemire to the Heat
Let me clear something up first: I am not a Stoudemire fan. I like him as much as I like watching Lifetime while having a root canal.
Yeah, that much.
But he still deserves some sage advice, no matter his big mouth and horrible post defense. If he chooses Miami, the residents of Florida should be as upset as when Andrew Jackson invaded in the First Seminole War.
First off, Stoudemire is the definition of a system player. He feeds off Steve Nash’s beautiful play-making and dunks as hard as ‘Nique. He’s got a great offensive game in a Phoenix Suns’ system that requires minimal defense.
Sorry Suns fans, I know your defense has improved. But when Kobe averages a triple-double against you and not against the inexperienced Thunder, there's a problem.
But in Miami, who feeds him the ball? D-Wade is a scorer primarily, and while he does facilitate, it’s nothing like Nash. The Heat’s point guard is Mario Chalmers, who’s got a long way to go.
Hey, but at least it’s not Smush Parker.
This is a monumental downgrade for Amar’e, whose Suns team was a crazy Ron Artest shot and overtime from going up on the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals.
But then again, who can resist Miami? Even Will Smith couldn’t.
#3 - Chris Bosh to Anywhere Without a Sign and Trade
Okay, so this may not be a destination, but it’s still a possibility. And it’s the worst possibility, so welcome to the list.
If Chris Bosh were to leave Toronto without a sign and trade, he would be insane.
And not Beastie Boys insane. More like Leonardo DiCaprio in Shutter Island insane.
First, let’s talk money, because like T-Pain, “I talk that.” He stands to forfeit nearly $30 million by just walking from the Raptors to another squad. I know money isn’t as important as winning, but Bosh is the kind of player that can demand a trade and get the extra money at the same time.
So why not have your diamond encrusted cake and eat it too?
Homer Simpson’s response: Mmmm…impossibly hard dessert.
Toronto is at his whim, and would probably prefer to get talent back for Bosh instead of nothing (duh). So if they deal him away, the cupboard isn’t bare.
Sadly, they still have Hedo Turkoglu. And his belly.
The main reason leaving as a free agent is a bad idea, however, is that he cannot go to a contender as easily. The Lakers, Rockets, and Mavericks will all come a-knockin’ if he demands a sign and trade. Put Bosh into any of those three squads, and there’s a heavyweight.
And unlike Kenan Thompson, this heavyweight may actually win something.
#2 - Dwyane Wade to the Bulls
Many prognosticators have picked the sexy move of the summer to be the Flash’s return to his beloved Chicago.
I would have picked any move at Brooklyn Decker’s house. But I’ve been wrong before.
Bulls fans are salivating at the chance at a pair of D’s like a Beverly Hills High School senior. Rose and Wade would make a formidable backcourt and cause problems for many Eastern Conference teams.
Sadly, these fans didn’t watch their Bulls playoffs run.
Joakim Noah, Taj Gibson, and the rest of the Chi-City bigs are post players like Liberace is straight. The last solid offensive big the Bulls have had was Luc Longley and even that’s a stretch.
Cleveland manhandled the Bulls on the glass and outscored them in the paint. How do you prevent that? Go sign someone that can score down low.
And I’m not talking about Ron Jeremy.
Wade is one of the premier players in the NBA right now and easily one of the top ten players of the decade. But look at the teams who have made the NBA Finals:
The Lakers have Gasol, Bynum, and Odom. The Celtics have Perkins, Garnett, and Wallace.
Not a coincidence, Chicago.
Financially, no move is really bad for Wade, considering he gets a maxed out deal anywhere he signs. But if he wants to win a title, he needs a low post threat, and the Bulls can’t find one.
Although I hear Kwame Brown’s available.
#1 - LeBron James to the Nets
After flipping to this slide, you can hear all four Nets’ fans in the U.S. sighing.
The possibility is there though. King James is great pals with minority owner Jay-Z, and were he to join the Nets, who also have cap space to sign another player as well, their starting five could look something like this:
Devin Harris, Courtney Lee, James, (Boozer or Lee), and Brook Lopez, with Derrick Favors and Terrence Williams coming off the bench.
Pretty good, right?
Fool’s gold, I say!
He wants to go somewhere to gain international fame. New Jersey’s international fame? Being New York’s toilet.
He wants to win titles for years to come?
New Jersey’s NBA titles = 0
James claims the Cleveland fans have been so supportive and this kind of move would just stab them in the back. If he wants out and wants to maintain his reputation, he needs to make the move as understandable as possible.
What would a Cavs fan do if, after all the love Bron-Bron got from his hometown crowd, he went to the worst team in the NBA during this past season, just to get away?
Hari kari is their favorite option.
This move is bad for everyone except the Nets. Sure, LeBron gets his money, but this kind of move makes NBA fans hate gold diggers more than Kanye West does.
And imagine if LeBron’s fame made Newark into a global hot spot? “Hey kids, let’s take a family vacation to a city that just had its first homicide free month in over 40 years!” Woo-hoo!
Consolation prize: At least its rivers don’t light on fire like Cleveland’s.