Dancing With the Stars Finale: 10 Reasons Erin Andrews Should Have Won

We were robbed.

That's how a nation of prepubescent boys and their hottie-craving dads felt last night watching Dancing With the Stars.

In the past years, the ABC show has thrown in an athlete to try to draw the males in to notice the rest of the attractive women doing the tango.

This year, they gave us the ultimate mix of sports and hotness in one, Erin Andrews.

Each week, we tuned in to see how she'd impress the judges. We marveled at the technical magnificence of her dances and clapped with every nailed step.

Who am I kidding? We were watching to see how much skin Erin would reveal this week.

In the process, we were educated about the world of ballroom dancing.

Those comfortable enough in their manhood might even admit they began rooting for her and critiquing everyone else's moves.

Don't regret it for a minute, brochacho. We had an amazing 10-week run of excuses to gawk at Erin with our spouses in the room.

All this for third place? Beaten by an ice dancer and a Pussycat Doll?

No. We won't accept it. What's more, we have 10 reasons to back up why Andrews should have won Tuesday night.

10. Best Chemistry

Between their little verbal spars in rehearsals to their steamy encounters on the dance floor, Andrews and Maksim Chmerkovskiy were actually believable as a couple.

There were times when it truly was dance porn. We sent the kiddies to bed because it seemed like they would spontaneously rip off their clothes and do the deed on national TV.

Just me? I don't think so. They were that steamy.

Too believable at times, really—Maksim ruined the fantasy of me and Erin on a beach feeding each other mozzarella sticks and mojitos.

9. She Overcame the Most Adversity

Seriously, name me another person on the show that not only had a stalker tape her through a peephole, but had Elisabeth Hasselbeck attack them on live TV?

You can't. It only happened to Erin.

8. She Had the Best Outfits

Erin pushed the envelope every week to show off what her mama gave her.

America was better for it. I have scientific research that showed America has been in a better mood on Wednesdays for the last 10 weeks.

Whenever I'm sad, I look at this picture. Blue skies instantly. Of course, I cropped Maksim out, but that's not creepy or anything.

7. She Was the Reason to Watch

Dude, you're so busted.

If you had those in front of your face every week, you'd be looking, too.

This was the moment that I decided to buy 3D TV.

6. She Was the Gutsiest Performer

She did the splits, the jumps and the hardest steps.

She took all the hate mail from the female haters who thought she was just some blonde bimbo and she turned them into fan club members week after week.

Andrews had the most to lose by coming on the show and the most scrutiny to face.

She handled it every week with style and grace.

5. She Was the Only Borderline A-Lister

Yes, I know, Pam Anderson.

But dude, we'd be lying if we didn't say she looked kind of past her prime on DWTS.

Pam's past prime is better than 99.9 percent of American women's greatest moment ever.

Andrews is the only one who came into the show with her star on the rise. It just kept rising week after week.

(This would be the moment where Michael Scott says, "That's what she said.")

4. She Was an Amateur

Erin was up against a dude who danced on ice and a girl who got paid to dance sexy on stage more than she ever did to sing.

The deck was stacked. She was the Seabiscuit of reality TV, the girl from the wrong side of the tracks, the rogue agent, the loose cannon...

Sorry, got a little carried away. Forget the rumors of her boy band dance video days.

Yes, Andrews had some moves coming on the show. Still, she was the Jordan Spieth of this threesome.

3. She Consistently Got Better

When the show started, I wondered if she'd last past the first elimination.

A nation of repressed Catholic men spent way too many prayers willing her through week to week and way too many confessional trips for those dirty, dirty thoughts.

Then a funny thing happened. Andrews actually proved she belonged.

We didn't have to pray any more. We just waited for the other couple to get eliminated.

2. She's Not Kate Gosselin

For that matter, she's not Niecy Nash or any other used-up female on the show.

She was elegant. She was relevant. She was the winner, dang gone it.

I want a recount. This feels like hanging chads all over again.

1. She Was the Hottest

Did you ever think you'd have a two-and-a-half month pass to talk ballroom dancing at the water cooler?

I would have never dreamed Bleacher Report would have cared about Dancing With the Stars.

We cared because of Erin. She earned our faithful viewership—not that she had to do much other than show up.

That was the beauty of it. Erin rewarded us each week by being hotter and hotter and hotter.

As judge Bruno Tonioli said last night, "You were hotter than noon in the tropics. We wanted fun, we got it."

I don't know if Tuesdays will ever be worth waiting for ever again.

We never saw enough of you on the sidelines, Erin. You were wasted at ESPN.

Here's hoping you don't look back and end up somewhere where you get to be hot on out TV screens every day.